If you ask me (and even if you don’t ask me) something in the video below is amiss. Twenty years ago a father would have filled the role depicted in it. Watch it and see what you think. In making my observation I am not blaming women/mothers. But if any video could demonstrate that we have a crisis of fatherhood and “missing man syndrome,” this is it. There should be a father—a man—in this video, but he is absent. But the video reflects reality does it not? What will you and I do to change this?
4 Replies to “This Role Used to Be Filled by a Father”
Comments are closed.
I think there are still many men involved in their son’s sports but that doesn’t fit the media meme so they (the men) are ignored. Although there many broken homes, they’re not *all* broken, yet…
There are still many men involved in their son’s sports, but the role of the man in the family and society has been bushwhacked by the sexual revolution with the heavy duty weapon called feminism. Our culture has stripped men of their masculinity and women have left the gift of womanhood and become slaves of a false definition of equality. We, as Church, need to open our eyes to the teaches of God and close them to the teaches of the world. Both catechised priests and laity need to witness to the beauty of God creating man in His Image and Likeness, “male and female, he created them.”
We need to go back to the beginning, to Genesis. We must read it, study it, live it and above all pray for the courage to embrace being true children of God.
I notice many of my female peers are divorced, separated, or never married and take on all the traditional male roles. Because there is no one else. Men are absent. I notice this at mass, sport practices, and other events. Even with married folks, it’s often the woman who leads the way to mass, with or without the man. Not too long ago, I saw a woman with many children struggling at mass because her husband wanted to sleep in.
Of course, there are many good, holy, and responsible men and fathers. However, my experience and my observation is many men are absent. I also notice that many religious activities- be it praise night, Bible study, group praying of the rosary or divine mercy chaplet, or what have you- is often predominantly female.
I don’t know what the answer is but I can tell you it is wearisome for the women and despite their earnest efforts, it is unlikely to compensate for MIA men, husbands and fathers. It’s also obviously painful emotionally for the children and the woman too. Not to mention societal effects.
But there’s much hope. 🙂 at least for those who love the Lord and have faith. Personally, the Lord has been so good to me, so merciful, kind, and patient. The Lord is satisfying and provides and comforts. The Lord is beauty, love, and perfection and has created such a beautiful home for us. The things around us are so beautiful and amazing that I can only wonder at the Being who came up with these ideas for creation.The Lord lightens the load for me. The Lord chastises me out of care/love and I trust the Lord. I’m thankful!
So for the Christian woman or Christian child struggling with this problem or any other, he or she has much help and comfort in difficulties. He or she has everything.
This of course doesn’t mean avoidance of suffering (don’t want to come off pollyannishpollyannish) but rather, “It is enough for me. It’s more than sufficient for me.”
I usually just encourage women and children in these positions. Most women I know in these positions are not practicing Catholics. So I can only offer these women friendship, childcare, and kindness since they are not interested in religious talk.
But the children, I’m able to offer them more because they don’t reject the Lord and love learning about God, the Bible, and the Church. My friends allow me to talk with them, take them to mass occasionally, and expose them to Christian music and DVDs.
I know several young children without fathers and I try to mention to the children that everyone’s earthly parents will let them down but their Father in Heaven is the Perfect Father. Or I make mention of sin and the painful effects of sin on us and those around us.
This allows the child to still love and respect the absent parent and perhaps offer the child comfort when they start to realize that the absence is due to their parent’s weaknesses/struggles. It humanizes the absent parent rather than demonizes him. I look at absent and uninvolved fathers as victims too.
I never encourage the men though, just women and children. Not sure, as a woman, how to encourage absent men, without appearing critical. Perhaps men need to take the lead on this problem. Perhaps the stronger men could influence, encourage, and challenge, the weaker ones.
We live in a secular society that has denigrated men, masculinity and fathers for at least 2 generations. Society and the Church are paying a huge price for that. That said, examples of masculine participation of men in their children’s lives can still be found and they ought to be encouraged much more than they are today.