The Heineken Beer holiday commercial below “taps” into a sad reality for many families: divorce and “remarriage.”
In these situations, most of the focus is on the happiness of the couple, with little to no attention paid to the effects on the children involved. For children, it typically means being shuttled between two different “homes” on a regular basis. They also must endure the pain and awkwardness of seeing their parents dating and possibly “marrying” others. As their parents set down the cross in order to pursue “personal happiness,” the children must shoulder it.
Even when the children of divorce become adults, much of the suffering continues. Not only are the emotional wounds still present, but the logistics of dealing with blended families present many challenges.
Leila Miller has explored these and other issues in her excellent book: Primal Loss: The Now Adult Children of Divorce Speak.
As for this commercial, it is lighthearted in its representation of the oddities, but it is ultimately a sad commentary.
Cross-posted at the Catholic Standard: cathstan.org/posts/the-pain-of-divorce-and-remarriage-in-a-beer-commercial
5 Replies to “The Pain of Divorce and Remarriage in a Beer Commercial?”
Thanks for such a great article on a topic seldom discussed.
I know all too well the effects of divorce. Miy parents had 6 children. Multiple divorces ensued amongst my siblings but possibly worse is the effects it had had an continues to have on the grandchildren and great grandchildren, the clear ripple effect. Do I blame this all on my father who walked out on us? Not entirely, but what we did not have while growing up was the example of a loving mother and father as spouses, I lacked the model to be the best possible father to my children and to this day-now more than 50 years since my father left-I can feel at times as though I need that reference. The good, I suppose, is that God has placed in my life many great men whom I emulate and I pray to Saint Joseph. Divorce has lasting effects. I could write a book!
My husband often refers to divorce as, “legalized child abuse.” And it is.
Marriage isn’t about this life on earth, it is about getting to heaven, helping your spouse get there, along with your children and as many as possible “others.”
Our culture has it all wrong.
Wish I’d been told all that in my youth, instead of learning about it in my 50’s.
I think there are a lot of Catholics (I myself being one) who missed out on a lot of instruction (this being only one example)for a whole lot of reasons.
I also think that if one hasn’t received all “the info”, then one cannot pass it onto ones own children and so the effects flow on…..
The children surely are innocent victims of divorce and new “marriage” (which is often the ultimate cause of the former), but they are not alone.
The abandoned spouse (I’m one of them) is a victim as well. He is put before a terrible choice: either growing old and die alone, or commit a mortal sin. Saying it with the words of the Gospel, we are really called to choose between our life in this world and the eternal life.
But also all the people surrounding the family are affected, think, for example, of parents and sibling of the spouses.
And, anyway, there is no real joy in the new “marriage”, because no real joy may come out of sin (and here we are talking of a mortal sin).
The Church should say more frequently and clearly that, even though “remarried” divorcees are invited to participate in Her life, unrepentant sinners who die while in mortal sin are doomed to Hell.
The purpose of the Church is (should be) saving the souls, not letting people go comfortably to Hell.
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