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What A Father Can Give His Daughter

December 9, 2016

screen-shot-2016-12-09-at-10-31-31-pmFor most people who view the commercial below, the focus is the Apple iPhone. But for us, I think the true focus should not be the Apple phone the man holds, but the apple of his eye, his daughter. Here is a father who delights in his daughter, and a daughter who is both affirmed by and happy in his delight.

A young girl naturally desires the love and appreciation of her father. She delights in being the apple of Daddy’s eye. If she does not find this from her father, she too easily seeks it from other men, whose love is less pure.

One of the great gifts that a father can give to his daughter is delighting in her for who she is without reference to mere sexual charms. A woman, however beautiful, is a person. She is someone’s daughter and certainly God’s daughter. She is to be loved for her own sake not merely for her charms. In delighting in his daughter, a father also models what she should expect from other men, and teaches her that mere attraction is not the same as pure or mature love.

Sadly, though, with the current crisis of fatherhood today, many young women do not receive this message; they easily confuse being the object of men’s lust with being the object of their proper esteem. Just because a man finds her beautiful does not mean that he respects her. Too many men will regard her body but not her soul.

A good father teaches these truths not only to his daughter, but to men who would be her suitors. Not so long ago, a young man was expected to meet the father of the young woman he dated. And even if few words were exchanged between them, the message from the father was clear: This is my daughter. She is a person, not just someone who exists for your pleasure. Treat her with respect; if you do not, you will have to answer to me!

Pray for fathers to be strong and loving. Daughters (and sons) need them desperately. Without strong and present fathers who show great love and set proper boundaries, many children develop what is often called “the father wound.” It is deep, sometimes subtle, and always harmful.

As you view this commercial, focus less on the Apple phone and more on the father and the apple of his eye—his daughter. With this appreciation from her father, she will be helped to judge every “Romeo” in the light of the proper self-esteem taught to her by her father.

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Comments (2)

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  1. Mary Jackson says:

    Great column.

    A GREAT book:
    Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
    by Meg Meeker MD

    I’ve given it as a gift to several fathers of daughters. Just fantastic.

  2. Todd says:

    The first half of my life was mostly lived in darkness. I was bad father in the sense that because of my disobedience to God I lead the first two of seven children the wrong way! Now as adults they are lost in the darkness. God is not finished with them yet so I hold hope for their salvation.

    Titus 3: 3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by men and hating one another;

    God rescued me from myself and that darkness and I have come to see that what is needed in the family, in business, and in the Church as always is GOOD FATHERS. Not just a father – but a GOOD FATHERS WHO STRIVE TO BECOME WHAT THEY ARE CALLED TO BE – HOLY! We see in society a break down of the family and in many places a lack of any father at all! I was in the home, and as seen in the wisdom of Titus chapter 3, I in fact was hated by men and hating one another – as a direct result of my disobedience to God [SIN]. Oh I thought I “loved,” my family and friends. I would say it all the time, you know how much I love this, that, or the other person. But the truth is I just didn’t have the power to really love anyone, because in those dark days I did not love God above all things.

    God is awesome and He rescued me from that darkness and has given me much and more of His Light and Truth – and I am grateful, sinner that I am. Here is how we really love our brothers and sisters. For what it is – so far my 3rd and 4th eldest children seem to be on fire for Jesus and living their Catholic Faith. Whatever I am, I know without question it because of God’s grace – not me. I know exactly what I am separated from the vine. I hope – to make it home God willing in the end to my Fathers house.

    1 Peter 1: 22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brethren, love one another earnestly from the heart.

    You see, it’s by our obedience to the Truth [Jesus] that we purify our souls for a sincere, authentic, actual “love,” of one another. If we love God – we’ll obey His Commandments. Then He will give us the power, the wisdom, the capacity for a genuine real “love,” of our brothers and sisters. Disobey – and you will end up hating (even though you throw around the word “love,”) one another. Obey God and He will empower you to really “love.” There is an order here and it holds sway.