Our Strengths Are Often Our Struggles

emoticonsOne of the things that I have learned about myself, and humans in general, is that our strengths are very closely related to our struggles. Some people are very passionate; this makes them dedicated and driven to make a difference. But it also makes them prone to anger or depression. Their passion in one area (e.g., truth, justice) can cause difficulties with passions in other areas such as sexuality, food, or drink. Passionate people can inspire others and are often great leaders. But they also run the risk of crashing and burning, whether emotionally or morally.

At the other end of the spectrum, consider those who are very relaxed and steady emotionally. They are thoughtful, thinking and acting deliberately. They are calm under pressure, not easily excited. They make good diplomats; they are the sort to bring conflicting parties together. But such people may often struggle to maintain integrity. Sometimes they make too many compromises and forget that there are things that are worth being angry about, worth fighting for. If a person never gets worked up, it could be because he doesn’t care enough about important issues. There’s a saying that the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.

This is part of what makes human beings complex and fascinating. There is a certain tipping point at which a virtue becomes a vice either by excess or defect. St. Thomas Aquinas said, In medio stat virtus (Virtue stands in the middle).
And thus in our example here of the passion of anger, the virtue to be sought is meekness. Aristotle defined meekness as the proper middle ground between too much anger and not enough.

The unusual commercial below shows an example of underwhelming joy. It is humorously portrayed in a perfectly deadpan way. But like anger, joy indicates a zeal for what is good, true, and beautiful (even if the subject is just shoes). It is certainly a virtue to be emotionally balanced, avoiding silliness and frivolity. But the strength of a stable and balanced personality can too easily become indifference about things that are important and should bring joy.

Think of someone you love. I’ll bet the thing you like most about him or her is often the very thing that frustrates you the most. Now think about yourself. What are your strengths? Are they not in fact closely related to the areas in which you struggle the most?

Enjoy this humorous commercial. In his subdued joy, is he exhibiting admirable control or is his heart dull? Is this virtue (balance) or is it a defect?

3 Replies to “Our Strengths Are Often Our Struggles”

  1. An extremely important piece for every one of us, Mgr Charles – Thanks.
    You write:
    “If a person never gets worked up, it could be because he doesn’t care enough about important issues. There’s a saying that the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”
    All beautifully summed up in the letter to the Laodicean church in Revelation 3:15-16
    “I know your deeds; you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were one or the other. So because you are lukewarm — neither hot nor cold — I am about to spit you out of My mouth!”
    And again Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:37 –
    “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
    Sitting on the fence is not an option – that’s Satan’s way!
    God bless all.

  2. This is definitely true. And I had never thought of things this way before. I am a big overthinker and a perfectionist. I worry constantly and let things get to me at times (though I’ve gotten a lot better about this).

    The plus side of this is that I truly care about the investigations that I do in law enforcement and I go the extra mile to try to figure things out. The downside of this trait is that I am also constantly thinking about cases and I never really know how to turn off the thought process to relax. Another downside is that I have a hard time relating to people outside of work. I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone can hear the gruesome details of what I go through at work on a daily basis.

    How do I try to fix it? I am getting back into going to church and try to go whenever I am not working. Anytime there is a reflection night or opportunity for Confession, I try to make it. It helps keep me grounded and humble.

  3. I can’t work out what’s happening to the comments here!!
    I posted the comment below two days ago and, like last weekend, it hasn’t shown up. So I suppose I had better try it again. Here goes!!

    An extremely important piece for every one of us, Mgr Charles – Thanks.
    You write:
    “If a person never gets worked up, it could be because he doesn’t care enough about important issues. There’s a saying that the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”
    All beautifully summed up in the letter to the Laodicean church in Revelation 3:15-16 –
    “I know your deeds; you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were one or the other. So because you are lukewarm — neither hot nor cold — I am about to spit you out of My mouth!”
    And again Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:37 –
    “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
    Sitting on the fence is not an option – that’s Satan’s way!
    God bless all.

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