[Catholic] Kids Say the Darndest Things!

My sister was telling me that a few weeks ago she was at Mass with her 4 year old, Nora. When they began to sing the Holy, Holy, Holy Nora said “This is my favorite song!”

My sister said, “Why?”

Nora replied, “It about my favorite food! The one that I eat aaaaall up whenever you make it!”

My sister was confused and asked her to clarify.

“Lasagna in the Highest!!”


What is your favorite [Catholic] kids say the darndest things moment?

15 Replies to “[Catholic] Kids Say the Darndest Things!”

  1. My wife and I have been trying to explain the differences between venial and mortal sins to our 7-year-old girl. Part of that, obviously, is explaining the effects of mortal sins, that they cut off one’s relationship with God and make it impossible, except through Confession, to reenter the life of grace. The gravity of the reality has apparently stuck with her. Recently, while at another family’s house for a play date, our daughter purposefully pushed down her own 4-year-old brother. Upon perpetrating the act, which my wife heard but did not see, our daughter shrieked. My wife spun around and said, “Honey, what’s wrong? What happened?” She replied with great anxiety, “Oh, mama! I pushed my brother down! Is that a mortal sin?!?!”

  2. Proof positive that my daughter isn’t very attentive in religion class-

    My daughter asked me, “What’s with the Bible and porcupines?”
    I said, “I know about lambs, sheep, whales, even locust- but nothing about porcupines.”
    She says, “What did learn at Bible study? Lots of men had porcupines.”

    I’m too embarrassed to note the age of my daughter!

  3. When my son was 3 years old, he loved to sing his version of the Glory to God in the Highest during Mass. He thought we were singing about his godmother and would sing, “Laurie to God in the Highest!”

  4. One morning my wife found my son, 3, making a mess of his toast at the dining room table. She found his napkin spread out and draped on top of his juice cup, and his toast torn to bits; some were in the cup, some crumbs on the table.

    She said, “Look at the mess you made!”

    He: “But, that’s what the priest does!”

    But as long as we’re singing, “Come dance in the forest, come play in the fields,” as we did at my parish last Sunday, he doesn’t need to change the song to make it sound like a child’s ridiculous innovation. I’m just glad that the hymn isn’t meant to exhort us to live according to what it preaches, or we would all have abandoned Mass on the spot to play outside!

  5. Here’s a collection of mispronunciations of the act of contrition I have heard over the years:

    O my God I am partly sorry for having defended me
    and i contest all my sins
    because I fear the lost of heaven and the plains of hell
    but most of all because I defend me oh God
    who am all good and deserving of my love
    I firmly contend with the help of disgrace
    to confess my sins and amen my life.

  6. I don’t have too many stories of what kids say in church…but I do have some of what kids do in church.
    I remember at the end of Mass one Sunday, there was this 4 year old kid who decided it would be a marvelous idea to do a headstand off the end of the pew (don’t worry, he didn’t get hurt). Well, he ended up flipping over right in front of the pastor when the pastor was in the closing procession out of the church. Of course, the pastor was giving this poor kid a really stern look, and meanwhile, a friend and I were dying laughing at the innocent look on this kid’s face (plus the whole headstand thing) and the look on our pastor’s face. Well, us laughing earned us a stern look too, but it was a pretty funny thing to watch.

  7. My three-year-old niece was sitting on my lap, contemplating a crucifix, when she turned to me with a pious look and said solemnly, “Jesus died for us, you know.”
    “That’s right,” I replied.
    “Why did He have to die?”
    “He died to save us from our sins, so that we wouldn’t have to die forever.”
    Suddenly her little brow cleared, and in the voice of one for whom all things suddenly made sense, replied, “Ohhh!! So they HAD to kill Him!”

  8. From Heidi:

    When I was little I really wanted to know what happened to Horton from the Dr. Seuss book (Our Father, Horten in Heaven) 🙂

  9. One evening after Mass, our parochial vicar was standing near the door to greet parishioners. He had not been the celebrant for that particular Mass, and was wearing a cassock. We duly greeted Fr A on our way out. After we’d passed Fr A, my third-grader asked: Why is Fr A wearing a DRESS? (I hope we were out of his earshot.) At the moment neither my husband nor I were able to come up with the word “cassock” so the best response we could come with was: He is NOT wearing a dress.

  10. My brother was driving with his triplets and he suggested that they sing a song. He asked Daniel what his favortie song is. Dan said “the take away song.” Patrick said, Dan sing a few lines, I don’t think I know it. And Dan began “Lamb of God you take away the sins… we know the rest!

  11. upon the processional announcement “Welcome to St. Joseph’s parish. Today is the third Sunday of advent. Our celebrant today is father…” My four year old pulled me close to her and asked “Is that God?”

  12. Our daughters were three years old at Mass when the recording of Archbishop Wuerl was played for the Archbishop’s Appeal. My one daughter, hearing the Archbishop’s voice, but not seeing him said, “Is he in Heaven?”

  13. Our then 5 year-old son loved singing “Silent Night”. What really got us though was the line “round blond virgin”.

  14. i don’t have children, however at the Easter vigil this past year, 2 kids that were sitting behind me had this converstation. The youngest asked the oldest “How did He [Jesus] die?” The oldest answered, “they killed him and now they can’t find him.” The youngest asked in excitement “Let’s go find him…he has to be hiding around here somewhere.” Obviously someone paid attention in church! But yet, the innocence of a child can really be thought provoking for adults. Jesus is hiding around here…it’s just a matter of finding Him.

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