Just A Little Talk With Jesus Makes it Right – A homily for the Third Sunday of Lent

As we examine the Gospel for this weekend’s Mass we do well to understand that is about human desires and how the Lord reaches us through them. Prior to examining the text in detail, let’s consider a few things:

  1. What it is that really makes you happy? We desire so many things: food, water, shelter, clothing, and creature comforts. We long for affection, peace, and a sense of belonging. Sometimes we want stability and simplicity, at others we yearn for change and variety. Our hearts are a sea of desires, wishes, and longings. Today’s Gospel says that a woman went to the well to draw water. She represents each one of us and her desire for water is symbolic of all our desires.
  2. In reality, your desires are infinite. Can you remember a time when you were ever entirely satisfied, when you wanted absolutely nothing else? Even if you can recall such a time, I’ll bet it didn’t last long. That is because our desires are without limit.
  3. The well in today’s Gospel symbolizes this world. Jesus says to the woman, Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again. The world cannot provide what we are really looking for. No matter how much it offers us, it will never suffice, for the world is finite while our desires are infinite. In this way our heart teaches us something very important about ourselves: We were not made for this world; we were made for something, someone, who is infinite, who alone can satisfy us. We were made for God.
  4. The water offered is the Holy Spirit. Jesus said elsewhere, “If any one thirst, let him come to me and drink. He who believes in me, as the scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water.’” Now this he said about the Spirit, which those who believed in him were to receive (Jn. 7:37-39).
  5. The Catechism of the Catholic Church has this to say about the meanings of our longings:

The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for. … With his longings for the infinite and for happiness, man questions himself about God’s existence. In all this he discerns signs of his spiritual soul. The soul, the seed of eternity we bear in ourselves, irreducible to the merely material, can have its origin only in God (Catechism # 27, 33).

  1. Scripture speaks to us about our desires: Of You my heart has spoken: “Seek His face.” It is your face O Lord that I seek; hide not your face! (Psalm 27:8-9). Only in God will my soul be at rest, he is my hope, my salvation (Psalm 62:1).
  2. Augustine wrote these classic words to describe our truest longing: “Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless till they rest in Thee” (Confessions 1,1).

With these in mind, let’s look at the journey that this woman makes to Jesus. Things start out rough, but in the end she discovers her heart’s truest desire. The journey is made in stages.

Rendezvous – Notice that Jesus is the one who takes the initiative here. As the Lord teaches elsewhere, It was not you who chose me, It was I who chose you (John 15:16). Jesus encounters a woman from Samaria at Jacob’s well. She desires water, but Jesus knows that her desire is for far more than water or in fact anything that the world gives. Her desire has brought her face to face with Jesus. It is a holy and fortunate rendezvous. Jesus begins a discussion with her about her heart’s truest longing.

Request – The discussion begins with a request. The text says, It was about noon. A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” Imagine, God asking you for anything; what a stunning thing! What can she or anyone really give God? The answer is simply this: the gift of our very self. God has put a threshold before our heart that even He will not cross unless we first say yes to Him. Jesus’ request initiates a discussion, a dialogue of two hearts. As we shall see, the woman struggles with this dialogue. To be sure, it is a delicate, even painful process for us to accept the Lord’s invitation to self-giving. Something within us makes us draw back in fear. Scripture says, It is an awesome thing to fall into the hands of living God (Heb 10:31).

Rebuke – Sure enough, she draws back with fear and anger. She says, “How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?”—For Jews use nothing in common with Samaritans. In our journey to God, we do not always trust or understand Him at first. Some are afraid to relate to God because they think they will lose their freedom or that they will have to change too much. Others loathe the commandments or fear that they cannot keep them. Still others are angry at the unexpected twists and turns of life and do not want to trust a God who doesn’t always give them what they want. The woman’s anger is not really at Jesus; it is at “the Jews,” with whom the Samaritans have a hostile relationship. This is sometimes the case with God as well. It is not always the Lord Jesus, or God the Father, whom people hate or distrust; rather, it is Christians. Some have been hurt by the Church or by Christians; others have prejudiced opinions influenced by a hostile media and world.

Repetition – Jesus repeats His offer for a relationship. He says, “If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” I don’t know about you, but I am mighty glad that the Lord does not merely write us off when we say no to Him. Jesus stays in the conversation and even sweetens the deal by making an offer to give her fresh, living water. The Lord does the same for us. First He gave the Law, then He gave the prophets; now He gives His Son. It just keeps getting better. First He gave water, then He changed it to wine, and then He changed it to His blood. Despite our often harsh rejection of God, He keeps the dialogue going.

Ridicule – The woman is still hostile and now even ridicules Jesus: “Sir, you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?” To the world, the teachings of God often appear to be foolishness. People often dismiss religious faith as fanciful and unrealistic.

Reminder – Jesus now re-frames the question by reminding the woman of the obvious: Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. What she is relying on can’t come through for her. The world’s water does not satisfy us; the world’s delights are transitory. They promise ultimate satisfaction, but soon we are thirsty again. The world is the gift that keeps on taking; it takes our money, loyalty, freedom, and time, while giving us only temporary—and ultimately unsatisfying pleasures—in return. It’s a bad deal. Every one who drinks from this well be thirsty again.

Re-upping the offer – Jesus says, “… but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Here the Lord speaks of happiness and satisfaction that he will give, that grows in us and makes us more and more alive. The “water” he offers (as noted above) is the gift of the Holy Spirit. As the Holy Spirit lives in us and transforms us, we become more and more content with what we have. As the life of God grows in us, we become more alive in God and joyful in what He is doing for us. This is what the Lord offers us: the gift of a new and transformed life, the gift to become fully alive in God. I am a witness of this. How about you?

Result – The woman has moved toward Jesus; she has warmed to His offer. She says, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” Here is the result of the Lord’s persistence. Thank God that He does not give up on us. He keeps calling, even when we say no, even when we sin; He just keeps call our name!

Requirement – Jesus wants to give this gift, but first He must help her to make room for it. For the truth is that she has unrepented sin. A cup that is filled with sand cannot be filled with water. The sand must first be emptied out and then the cup cleansed. Thus Jesus says, “Go call your husband and come back.” The woman answered and said to him, “I do not have a husband.” Jesus answered her, “You are right in saying, ‘I do not have a husband.’ For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true.” Now she does what most of us do when we are in an uncomfortable spot: she changes the subject. She attempts to engage in a discussion about where to worship. Jesus is patient and answers her, but ultimately draws her back to the subject at hand: her heart and what her desires are really all about.

Reconciliation – At this point the conversation gets private; we are not permitted to listen in. It is just between her and Jesus. But whatever it was, she is elated and will later declare, “He told me everything I ever did.” There is no sense in her tone that Jesus was merely accusatory. Rather, it would seem that Jesus helped her to understand her heart and her struggle. An old song says, “I once was lost in sin but Jesus took me in and then a little light from heaven filled my soul. He bathed my heart in love and he wrote my name above and just a little talk with Jesus made me whole.” Here, Jesus reconciles her with God and with her own self.

RejoicingThe woman left her water jar and went into the town and said to the people, “Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Christ?” They went out of the town and came to him.” Do not miss that little detail: she left her water jar. She left behind the very thing she was depending on to collect the things of the world. What is your “water jar”? What do you use to gain access to the world and to collect its offerings? For most of us, it is money. Scripture says, For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Tim 6:10). At any rate, the woman is joyfully empowered to leave this enslaving water jar behind. Freed from its load, she is able to run to town and declare Jesus to others. Her joy must have been infectious, for soon enough they are following her out to meet the Lord!

This is the journey of a woman who represents each one of us. This is our journey, out of dependence, out of an enslaving attachment to the world. It is our journey unto Jesus, who alone can set us free. Here is our journey to understand that our desires are ultimately about God.

You can listen to this homily here: Just a Little Talk With Jesus.

I have it on the best of authority that as the woman joyfully journeyed back to town, she was singing this gospel song:

“Lists” of Mortal Sins

One of the deceptions of our time is the notion that serious sin is only a remote possibility for most people and that such sins are only committed by truly wicked people. Too many people assess their moral standing with unhelpful platitudes such as these: “I’m basically a good person,” or “Well, I haven’t murdered anybody.”

We must be more serious and mature in our discernment. While it is true, as we have noted in previous articles (HERE and HERE) that there are conditions necessary for mortal sin, we ought not simply presume they are hard to meet. It is true that, even when there is grave matter, that our freedom or knowledge can be limited in such a way that our blameworthiness is reduced below the level of mortal sin. But, as noted, deep down we usually know what we are doing in most matters. Further, our freedom, though seldom a perfect freedom is more free that we like to admit when we get in trouble of some sort. 

Further, God does not leave us in such a fog of uncertainty. His Word is quite clear in specifying some of the more serious sins so that we can humbly recognize our tendency to do these very things. It is also expected of us, who have reason and free will that these are not just theoretical powers seldom observed, but that they are fundamental endowments for which we are responsible and in which are expected to grow. It is offensive to our human dignity to assert, in effect, that most people are too stupid to go to hell or too enslaved to their passions to really be responsible for what they do. The Holy Scriptures presuppose that we are moral agents and engage our intellect and will. They warn of serious sin and and its consequences neither of which are relevant if we do not possess the requisite intellect and will. 

In this third post on the topic mortal sin is to advance a kind of listing of sins that are more commonly mortal. But note, simply listing mortal sins is not sufficient because, as noted, there are important factors affecting culpability. For example, some of the sins listed below (e.g., lying) can admit of lighter matter (one might tell a lie to avoid hurting someone’s feeling). Lies can also be devastating, robbing people of their good name or depriving people of necessary information. Also, as noted and despite the cautions I have noted,  compulsions or addictions can erode the freedom necessary to be guilty of mortal sin. Hence, a sin could be venial if the person were acting under some compulsion. This does not mean that it is not a sin at all, just that it may not be fully mortal in its effects.

We begin with biblical “lists” of the more serious sins from the New Testament. Note in these lists that saying a particular sin excludes one from the Kingdom of Heaven is a biblical way of saying that it is a mortal sin. These five lists are not exhaustive and there are other passages in the Bible that include sins not mentioned below (e.g., refusal to forgive, cf Matt 6:15).

  1. Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were (1 Cor 6:9-10).
  2. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19-21).
  3. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No sexually immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore, do not be partners with them (Eph 5:3-6).
  4. “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star” (Rev. 22:12-16).
  5. Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life (Matt 25:41-46).

Finally, here is a general warning from the Lord:

Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out—those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned. By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me (John 5:28-29).

What follows is a list of sins that are mortal or can commonly become mortal due to the harm caused.

First Commandment: I am the LORD your God: you shall not have strange Gods before me. Polytheism and idolatry, divination, magic, sorcery and spiritism. Atheism, Agnosticism, Irreligion, sacrilege, simony. Apostacy, Heresy, schism, stubborn refusal to obey God, recourse to: Wicca, Pachamama, witchcraft, horoscopes, palm readers, tarot cards, mediums and psychics, Ouija boards, crystals, pendulums, Rieke, Charlie-charlie, seances, crystals and… just add the latest .  See CCC 2110-2128; 2138-2140

Second Commandment: You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. Blasphemy, curses, unfaithfulness to promises, false oaths, perjury. See CCC 2142-2149; 2160-2162

Third Commandment: Remember to keep holy the LORD’S day. Not attending Holy Mass on Sundays and Holy days of Obligation without a just motive (e.g. sickness); See Catechism 1389

Fourth  Commandment: Honor your father and your mother. Serious Negligence, of the obligations/responsibilities towards one’s children, parents and siblings; hatred; ingratitude; disrespect; disobedience in matters concerning the material and spiritual well-being; negligence and indifference toward virtue and in faith of one’s children. Serious insubordination or lack of due respect  to lawful authority. Undermining of authority by sedition or inciting public unrest.  See Catechism 2114-2118;2221-2229

5th Commandment: You shall not kill. Direct and intentional murder and cooperation in it; direct abortion and  cooperation in it. Direct euthanasia,
suicide. Hatred, extreme anger, terrorism, seduction into serious sin, See Compendium 470; Catechism 2268-2283; 2321-2326

6th Commandment: You shall not commit adultery. Adultery, masturbation, fornication before or outside of marriage, incest, sexual abuse and harassment, pornography, prostitution, rape, and homosexual actions. Direct sterilization, contraception, artificial or in vitro fertilization, divorce and remarriage, polygamy, incest, cohabitation. See Catechism 2351-2359; 2396; 2370-2372; 2380-2391, 2400

7th Commandment: You shall not steal. Theft, borrowing without permission,  business fraud; paying unjust wages; forcing up prices, taking advantage of the ignorance or hardship of another; appropriation and use for private purposes of the common goods of an enterprise; work poorly done; tax evasion; forgery of checks and invoices; excessive expenses and waste. Willfully damaging private or public property, vandalism, refusing reparations when property is damaged, slavery, greed, withholding wages.

Eighth Commandment: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Lying, especially about serious matters that harm reputations, seriously misleading  or depriving others of important information, false witness and perjury,  rash judgment, detraction, calumny, adulation, violation of the sacramental seal, divulging professional secrets. Catechism 2475-2487; 2507-2509;

10th Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods. Jealousy, envy, ingratitude, disrespect or misuse of the property of others, greed, and envy, immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself. Catechism 2534-2540; 2551-2554

No list of mortal sins can be perfect, either due to excess or defect. We must recall that small sins can cause great harm in certain circumstances, such as when children are involved or merely unkind words are uttered in a very sensitive moment. Further, what are often mortal sins can admit of light matter such as telling a lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or taking a small item like a cookie versus a highly expensive one. 

Mortal sins happen. Frequent confession is a salutary and proper remedy that takes such sin seriously but does not despair of God’s mercy. Further, it refers judgment to the proper tribunal of God working through the Church and the priest. It  “errs” on the  side of caution  beseeching mercy.

Finally, this thought: Even venial sin harms our relationship with God. It weakens it and sets us on a path that becomes accustomed to sin in growing degrees. Those who forever say, “Well I don’t think it is mortal” soon enough cross into mortal sin, likely still denying they are in such a state since they have been desensitized and settled down with sin.

Go to confession.

How Mortal Sin Cuts Off Charity by Us Turning From God

In response to some in the current scene who are dismissing mortal sin as a clear or present danger to the human person, yesterday’s article sought to address the conditions for mortal sin. Grave matter, due discretion, and deliberate consent are not as hard to come by as some allege.

In today’s brief post,  there is addressed the rather brusque dismissal of the notion that anyone ever chooses to turn away from God. Tomorrow’s post will, with proper caveats seek to list some of the more some of the more common mortal sins committed.

As just noted then, Many people today scoff at the idea that mortal sin is a turning away from God. They doubt that most people directly intend to turn away from God, as if to say, “I hate God and so I am going to turn away from Him by sinning.” But of course, this both caricatures and absolutizes the turning away from God. Almost no one explicitly sets out to sever their relationship with God as the principle motive of their sinning, and this is not what is meant by the Church teaching that serious sin separates us from God. 

That Catechism gives a more realistic description and common occurance of what occurs in mortal sin, teaching that our preference for an inferior good to God by a serious violation of His law is what turns us away from him.

[M]ortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him. In mortal sin the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end. As such, the sin is mortal by its very object whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery (Catechism of the Catholic Church # 1855-1856).

So, once again, we are taught that in mortal sin we set our will upon something we know to be incompatible with our ultimate end. And, even though our first thought may not be that we are rejecting God, we set our will on something incompatible with God. In so doing, we are preferring something or someone to God.

This poisons our heart if we do not repent because we feed a desire in our heart for what is not God and we starve our heart from Him and what He offers. If unrepentant, soon enough we prefer the darkness to the light. We prefer the trinkets of this world to God and come to regard Him as a thief who comes to take what we want and keeps us from doing what we want to do. God becomes our enemy.

If we die in this state, the warmth of God and Heaven seem overwhelming, wrathful, and like a consuming fire. We cannot endure and so we turn away finally and permanently to a place that we strangely prefer, but which is hellacious because it is not that for which we were made. It lacks the one thing necessary: God.

And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the Light and does not come into the Light (John 3:19-20).

So, in mortal sin it is not that we directly turn from God — at least not at first — but that we turn to the lesser things, preferring the darkness, and come to hate Him who is the Light.

Without repentance and regular confession we soon settle down with sin and prefer it to God and what he teaches. Gradually we can even come to see God and his teaching as obnoxious, “intolerant” and hateful. Or, alternately we imagine our own version of a god who is not the God of Scripture, who approves of our turning away to lesser things.  Of course this is idolatry as we place other gods before the Lord God. In either case we turn from God by persisting in our desire for lesser things and letting it grow. We seen then how  mortal sin and its effects do turn us from God.

Don’t do it.

 

 

The Conditions for Mortal Sin are Not that Hard to Meet

Recent and public conversations about the nature of mortal sin, the reception of Holy Communion and worthiness to receive the Eucharist have shown how some in our culture, even if they accept the concept that sin could be mortal, so limit the possibility of committing it that it barely exists at all in their moral landscape. This is usually done by distorting or blurring the three conditions under which sin is considered mortal. Briefly stated these conditions are:

Mortal sin is: 

        • sin whose object is grave matter
        • which is also committed with full knowledge
        • and deliberate consent. (Catechism of the Catholic Church # 1857)

In all three of these conditions, there is a tendency to endlessly raise questions and doubts as to exactly what each phrase means and demand an exactitude without which we refuse to accept that a mortal sin has been committed. To some degree we humans love to cultivate uncertainty for this helps us remain undecided  and avoid the moral judgement of our actions, which is required of us as free moral agents.  And thus we think, “Well, who’s to say? There are a lot of opinions out there. What exactly do we mean by ‘deliberate consent’ and ‘full knowledge’?” And we forever delay pondering the answers to such things by using our moral reasoning and coming to a mature and adult faith. But God who gave us an intellect and a will is not pleased by this constant shrugging and delaying of the examination of conscience that is our responsibility and dignity to make.

As to grave matter, some insist on having an exact list of sins that are grave. And while some sins are obviously so (e.g. killing the innocent, adultery), other sins are affected by the circumstances. For example, if I steal a pen from work, it is  wrong, but is not a mortal sin because it is a very small matter. However, if I steal millions of dollars, the matter is grave due to the amount. But even if I steal a small amount from a poor man who has little on which to survive, it is mortal due to serious harm I cause him. Insisting on an exact “list of mortal sins” lacks moral sophistication, is persnickety and seems more rooted in refusal to engage in an honest moral reflection that accepts that grave matter is an ever-possible reality for us in this world of sin and temptation. Sincere moral reflection reveals that we can say and do things that cause serious harm to us, to others, and to our relationship with God and the truth. Further, just because we don’t like that the Scriptures and the Church teach that certain things are sinfully wrong, does not give us the right to us to jettison the sound teaching of the Lord. We must not call good or no big deal what God calls sin no matter how much the world celebrates or makes light of it. Once it is made clear to us  what God teaches we are obliged to follow it and confess any violation of it in our lives.  To do otherwise is pridefully disobedient

As to full knowledge, this does not mean we have to possess a doctoral degree in moral theology. Too often we like to pretend we don’t know things that, deep down we do know. St. Paul lamented to St. Timothy the human tendency to accumulate for ourselves teachers who say what our itching ears want to to hear. But he also states the sinful reason for this: “they do not tolerate sound doctrine.” Deep down, in the human conscience, the voice of God echoes; God has written his truth in the hearts and minds of us all. This grasp of fundamental moral principles St. Thomas calls synderesis (De Veritate q. 17, art 1-5). Almost every recent study has shown that even the youngest children and infants have a basic sense of right and wrong, justice and fairness, and love vs. cruelty. And though our moral knowledge and formation grows as we age, basic principles still speak in our souls and we are responsible to heed this voice. Certain moral situations can get complex (e.g. bioethics) and advice may be needed, but pleading ignorance or “lack of sufficient knowledge” in most cases is rooted more in avoidance than in truth. Even in a world filled with foolish teachers, deep down we know what we are doing in most cases and we are responsible for what we know.  All the wrath of the world directed at the moral vision of the Scriptures and the Church is a pretty good indicator that we have touched a nerve when we point to what is ultimately obvious under all the rationalizations and distortions of this age. If one is sincerely ignorant of teachings, that is a mitigating factor, but too much ignorance today is indulged and we far-too-easily appeal to it.

As to deliberate consent, the Catechism uses a phrase here at slight variance from the common expression: “full consent of the will.” This is good since some get lost in the word “full.” Our human wills are often beset with conflicting intentions and influences. Seldom is our will, or the consent we make by it, free from any temptation or pressure to do what is wrong. “Full” consent or total freedom unaffected by feelings, passions, external pressure, emotional disorders, is hard to come by in many if not most matters. This does not mean that we are never free enough to commit mortal sin.  Deliberate consent implies that there is time to think or “deliberate” on a matter and that our will is not significantly impaired. While passions, bad habits, compulsion or immaturity can lessen guilt at times, we ought not easily suppose that we or others are without sufficient or deliberate consent to commit mortal sin. But we often do just that, tending to talk out of both sides of our mouth today. On the one side we boast of our freedom and that nobody will tell us what to do. On the other side, we bemoan how we are not responsible for what we have done since “our mother dropped us on our head when were two,”or that “the devil made us do it,” or that it’s just too hard to do what is right.  This diminishes the dignity of the human person since an essential quality of being human is that we have free will and reason. Therefore we can and do act deliberately and are responsible for what we do. Shirking responsibility because we were tempted and found it “difficult” to resist likely points more to sloth, despair and/or a stubborn resistance to self mastery through grace.

In all three of these conditions for mortal sin, we ought not be a judge in our own case. While we are responsible to personally deliberate and and properly inform our conscience, we should seek the advice and tribunal of the confessional. Knowledge of Scripture and consultation with the Catechism and reputable advisors should also be an on-going work in our lives. Our conscience is not its own source of authority, it must be formed so that we think with the Church and her revealed doctrines and are submitted to all that the Holy Catholic Church teaches and proclaims to be revealed by God.

It is a sad truth today that some clergy have misled God’s people and they will answer to God for every bit of it. However, the faithful need to remember that the magisterium (the teaching authority) of the Church is not limited to clergy alive today, or merely to documents written recently. The magisterium is the sum-total of what has been formally taught down through all the history of the Church. In addition to the Catechism, Catholics do well to have a copy of Fundamentals of the Catholic Dogma by Ludwig Ott which is a good summary of Catholic Dogma and Doctrine.

Remember we cannot forever delay coming to a balanced and healthy understanding of mortal sin and its conditions by endlessly raising questions and doubts as to exactly what each phrase means. We are not assigned an impossible task by the Lord and his warnings in His Scriptures about the danger of persisting in mortal sin are not empty teachings that apply to almost no one. His teachings are given to us because mortal sin is a clear and present danger. Thanks be to God, his remedies are also clear and ever-present: repentance and Holy Confession.  When in doubt, don’t argue about whether this or that condition have been for mortal sin, go to confession. Humility is always better than being defensive and argumentative. And, even if we occasionally err on the side of a little scrupulosity, that won’t kill us and a good confessor can guide and reassure us.

I will post at least two more columns in the next few days on mortal sin. One will explore what mortal sin does at its core, and the other will develop something of a Biblical catalogue of mortal sin. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, Go to Confession!

In this video, note how the world says “No More excuses” about worldly goals and physical fitness. A Key line says, “Get rid of the debate… You Know the right decision to make.” Well why not in the spiritual life?

https://youtu.be/mjHWRPryFsM

 

Every Round Goes Higher – A Homily for the Second Sunday of Lent

The second Sunday of Lent always features the Transfiguration. This is because we are following the Lord on His final odyssey to Jerusalem, and this journey up Mt. Tabor was one of His stops (with Peter, James, and John).

It is commonly held that Jesus did this to prepare His apostles for the difficult days ahead. There’s a line from an old spiritual that says, “Sometimes I’m up, sometimes I’m down, sometimes I’m almost on the ground … but see what the end shall be.” This is what the Lord is doing here: He is showing us what the end shall be. There is a cross to get through but there is glory on the other side.

The purpose in placing the account of the Transfiguration here is that it helps describe the pattern of the Christian life, which is the paschal mystery. We are always dying and rising with Christ in repeated cycles as we journey to an eternal Easter (cf 2 Cor4:10). This Gospel shows forth the pattern of the cross: the climb, the rising, and the glory of the mountaintop. Then it is back down the mountain again only to climb another one (Golgotha), and through it find another glory (Easter Sunday). Let’s look at today’s Gospel in three stages.

I The Purpose of Trials Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves.

We often pass over the fact that they had to climb that mountain, no easy task.

Anyone who has been to Mt. Tabor can attest to its altitude: almost 2000 feet. Ascending it likely took the better part of a day and was probably somewhat dangerous. Looking down from the top on the Jezreel Valley (a.k.a. Megiddo or Armageddon) provides a view similar to what one would see out an airplane window.

So we have here a symbol of the cross and of struggle. A climb up the rough side of the mountain was likely exhausting, testing their strength.

I have it on the best of authority that as they climbed they were singing gospel songs like this one: “I’m comin’ up on the rough side of the mountain, and I’m doin’ my best to carry on!” Another song says, “My soul looks back and wonders how I got over!” Yet another says, “We are climbing Jacob’s ladder, every round goes higher, higher.”

This climb reminds us of life. Often we have had to climb, to endure, to have our strength tested. Perhaps it was the climb of earning a college degree. Perhaps it was the climb of raising children or building a career. What of real value do you have that did not come at the price of a climb, of effort and struggle?

Most of us know that although the climb is difficult, there is glory at the top if we but endure. Life’s difficulties are often the prelude to success and greater strength.

Although we might wish that life had no struggles, it would seem that the Lord intends them for us, for the cross alone leads to true glory. Where would we be without some of the crosses in our life? Let’s ponder some of the purposes of problems:

God uses problems to DIRECT us. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in new directions and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. Proverbs 20:30 says, Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inner most being. Another old gospel song speaks of the need for suffering to keep us focused on God: “Now the way may not be too easy, but you never said it would be. ‘Cause when our way gets a little too easy, you know we tend to stray from thee.” Yes, God sometimes uses problems to direct our steps to Him.

God uses problems to INSPECT us. People are like tea bags: if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? Our problems have a way of helping to see what we’re really made of. I have discovered many strengths I never knew I had through trials. There is a test in every testimony and trials have a way of purifying and strengthening our faith as well as inspecting it to see whether it is genuine. 1 Peter 1:6 says, In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These trials are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure.

God uses problems to CORRECT us. There are some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. When you were a child, it’s likely that your parents told you not to touch a hot stove, but you probably really learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something (e.g., health, money, a relationship) by losing it. Scripture says, It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees (Psalm 119:71-72). Before I was afflicted, I strayed. But now I keep you word (Psalm 119:67).

God uses problems to PROTECT us. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed more seriously. A man was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. Although his unemployment was a problem, it saved him from being sent to prison when management’s actions were finally discovered. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph speaks to his brothers: You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

God uses problems to PERFECT us. When responded to properly, problems are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Romans 5:3 says, We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Peter 1:7 says, You are being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold; so if your faith remains strong after being tried in the fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of his return.

So here it is, the cross symbolized by the climb; but after the cross comes the glory.

II The Productiveness of Trials And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them. Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses, and they were conversing with Jesus. Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified. Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”

All the climbing has paid off. Now comes the fruit of all that hard work. The Lord gives them a glimpse of glory! They get to see the glory that Jesus has always had with the Father. He is dazzlingly bright. A similar vision from the Book of Revelation gives us more detail:

I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, … His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades” (Rev 1:12-17).

Yes, all the climbing has paid off. Now comes the glory, the life, the reward for endurance and struggle. Are you enjoying any of the fruits of your crosses now? If we have carried our crosses in faith, it has made us more confident, stronger. Some of us have discovered gifts, abilities, and endurance we never knew we had. Our crosses have brought us life! St. Paul said, that this momentary affliction is producing for us a weight of glory beyond all compare (2 Cor 4:14). He also said, For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Rom 8:18).

So here is the glory that comes after the climb. Here is the life that comes from the cross.

III. The Pattern of Trials – Suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone but Jesus alone with them. As they were coming down from the mountain, he charged them not to relate what they had seen to anyone, except when the Son of Man had risen from the dead.

Although Peter wanted to stay, Jesus makes it clear that they must go down the mountain for the time being and walk a very dark valley to another hill (Golgotha); for now, the pattern must repeat. The cross has led to glory, but more crosses are needed before the final glory. An old spiritual says, “We are climbing Jacob’s ladder … every round goes higher, higher, soldiers of the cross!

This is our life. Always carrying within our self the dying of Christ so also that [the rising of Christ], the life of Christ may be manifest in us (cf 2 Cor 4:10).

There are difficult days ahead for Jesus and the Apostles, but the crosses lead to lasting glory. This is our life too. The paschal mystery is the pattern and rhythm of our life.

Here is an excerpt from the song “We Are Climbing Jacob’s Ladder.” The song repeats, “… every round goes higher, higher.” One can almost imagine a spiral staircase as the rounds get pitched higher musically. This is the pattern of our life: we die with Christ so as to live with Him. Each time we come back around to the cross, or back around to glory, we are one round higher and one level closer to final glory.

Flee to the Truth When Tempted – A Homily for the First Sunday of Lent

The Gospel today says that Jesus was tempted by the devil in the desert. Hebrews 4:15 also affirms, For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.

How exactly a divine person, with a sinless human nature, experiences temptation is somewhat mysterious, and yet the text affirms that He does. A Lenten antiphon from the Breviary teaches that He did this, or allowed this, for our sake: Come, let us worship Christ the Lord, who for our sake endured temptation and suffering (Invitatory Antiphon for Lent). Hence, even without pondering too deeply the mystery of how He was tempted or experienced it, we can still learn what Jesus teaches us about how to endure temptation and be victorious over it. (More on the question of how Christ was tempted is available here.)

Before we look at each temptation, we might learn a few general aspects of what the Lord teaches us in electing to endure temptation.

Temptation and Sin – The fact that the Lord is tempted yet did not sin tells us that there is a distinction to be made between temptation and sin. Too often the very experience of temptation makes us feel sinful, as if we have already sinned, but that is not necessarily the case. Jesus, who never sinned, experienced temptation. Therefore, experiencing temptation is not to be equated with sin. One of the tactics of the devil is to discourage us into thinking that way. Some of our past sins may influence the degree to which we feel tempted, but we need not conclude that we have already sinned, or newly sinned, merely because we are tempted. Rather than to feel shame and run from God, we ought to run to Him with confidence and seek his Help.

Temptation and Scripture – Notice that Jesus responds to every temptation with Scripture. This is not to be equated with proof-texting or pronouncing biblical slogans. Rather, it indicates that Jesus was deeply rooted in Scripture, in the wisdom of the Biblical vision. In rebuking temptation in this way, Jesus is teaching us to do the same. It will not be enough for us to know a few biblical sayings, but to the degree that we are deeply rooted in the wisdom of God’s truth available to us through Scripture and the teachings of the Church, we are able to strongly rebuke unholy, worldly, or fleshly thinking. Half the battle in defeating temptation is knowing instinctively its erroneous vision. Having our minds transformed by the teachings of Scripture and the Church is essential in fighting temptation. Scripture says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2). Ephesian 6:17 speaks of the Word of God as the sword of the Spirit, with which we are properly armed for spiritual warfare. Thus, we are taught here by the Lord to be deeply rooted in His Word.

Temptation and Strength – Jesus is tempted three times, after which the devil leaves Him. In a certain way, the spiritual life is like the physical life, in that we grow stronger through repeated action. After lifting weights repeatedly, our physical strength increases and we are able to overcome increasingly difficult challenges. It is the same with the spiritual life. An old gospel song says, “Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin. Each victory will help you, some other to win.” Scripture says, Resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7). We need not conclude from this that Jesus needed to be strengthened (He did not) in order to understand that He is still teaching us what we need to do. The battle against temptation is not a “one and you’re done” scenario, but an ongoing battle in which each victory makes us stronger and the devil more discouraged. As we grow stronger, the devil eventually stops wasting his time tempting us in certain areas. At times the battle may weary us, but in the long run, it strengthens us. Jesus illustrates this with his three-fold battle with Satan.

Having review a few general principles, let’s look at the three temptation scenes.

Scene I: The Temptation of PassionsAt that time Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. The tempter approached and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread.” He said in reply, “It is written: One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.”

Hunger, as a desire, is a passion. It is not evil per se, for without it we would perish. The same is true of other natural desires for things like life, drink, and procreation (sexuality). We have other sorts of passions such as anger, love, joy, aversion, hatred, hope, despair, fear, and courage. Of themselves, these passions are neither good nor bad. Passions become bad only in relation to their object or insofar as we allow them to become inordinate.

Hence there is nothing wrong with Jesus as He experiences hunger. What the devil tries to do is to draw Jesus into the sin of yielding to His hunger and using His power inappropriately. Remember, Jesus had been led into the desert by the Spirit in order to fast and pray. This is His call. His hunger is real and without sin, but now He is tempted to set aside His call and to yield to His hunger in an inappropriate way, by rejecting his call to fast. Jesus is tempted to serve Himself. He obviously has the power to turn stones into bread, so a second temptation is to use His power inappropriately, to gratify and serve Himself rather than to glorify His Father.

What about us? We have passions, too. They are not wrong in themselves, but we can allow them to become inordinate or gratify them in unlawful ways. Remember that we, like Jesus, are called to fast. Our fast is from things like sin, injustice, unrighteousness, sexual impurity, unlawful pleasures, and excessive indulgence. We have it have it in our power to choose to reject our fast and to gratify our desires by rejecting our call to serve God. The devil tempts us to reject our call and to use our power to gratify our passions by lying, cheating, stealing, venting our anger, fornicating, and being gluttonous or greedy.

Jesus has recourse to God’s Word: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every Word that comes from the mouth of God. Jesus tells Satan that He would rather live and be sustained by the Word than by food; His food is doing the will of His Father.

What about us? Can we say, Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food (Job 23:12)? Can we say that God’s Word is more important to us than my desires for satisfaction, sex, self-preservation, popularity, worldly joys, power, prestige, or possessions? Can we say that our strongest desire is for God and the things awaiting us in Heaven and that we will gladly forsake everything for it?

Scene II. The Temptation of PresumptionThen the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: He will command his angels concerning you and with their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Jesus answered him, “Again it is written, You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”

It is important to trust God, but this is not an invitation to act recklessly. There will come a time when Jesus will throw himself down on the cross with the complete assurance that the Father will raise Him. He has this command from His Father. But now is not that time and Jesus must act to preserve and protect His life so that he can accomplish His full mission.

Presumption is a terrible problem today. Too many people think that they can go on sinning and that there will be, or should be, no consequences. This is true in both worldly and spiritual ways. Too many engage in risky and ruinous behavior and think, “I’ll be OK. I’ll escape. I won’t be a statistic. I won’t get caught. I won’t lose my job.” Many think, “I can use drugs without becoming addicted. I can have evil friends and still stay good and live morally. I can skip school and still get good grades. I can be promiscuous and won’t get a disease or become pregnant. I can drive recklessly and won’t have an accident. I can be disrespectful and still command respect.” In all this people are simply “cruisin’ for a bruisin’.”

Regarding the moral presumptiveness of thinking that no matter what we do, Heaven will still be the result, the Lord warns,

Say not I have sinned, yet what has befallen me? For the Lord bides his time. But of forgiveness be not overconfident adding sin upon sin. … Delay not your conversion to the Lord, put it not off from day to day for mercy and justice are alike with him (Sirach 5:4).

Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption; but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary in well‑doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart (Gal 6:7).

For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. (Hosea 8:7).

But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes! (Psalm 81:11)

God clearly warns us that sin sets us on a path that hardens our heart and makes our final conversion increasingly unlikely. In this Lenten season, He is pleading with us to be serious about sin and its consequences. Sin renders us not only unfit for Heaven, but incapable of entering it.

A bad idea – Presuming that everything will be fine is not only a poor strategy, it is a snare of the devil, who seeks to cloud our mind with false hope and unreasonable expectations. Jesus has a very clear message for the devil and for any of us who would engage in presumption: Don’t you dare put the Lord your God to the test in this way. Obey Him out of love, but do not put Him to the test. Yes, presumption is a very foolish idea.

Scene III. The Temptation of Possessions Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in their magnificence, and he said to him, “All these I shall give to you, if you will prostrate yourself and worship me.” At this, Jesus said to him, “Get away, Satan! It is written: The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.”

Here is the obvious temptation of worldly possessions. Everything, everything, is offered to Jesus in exchange for a little worship of the devil. Tt may seem strange to us that having an abundance of things would be linked to worshiping the devil and forsaking God, but Scripture attests to this connection elsewhere:

  1. Adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God (James 4:4).
  2. Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him (1 John 2:15).
  3. No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money (Matt 6:24).

This is all pretty blunt. We want to have both, but the Lord is clear in rebuking this temptation by insisting that we must serve God alone, adore God alone. The inordinate love of this world causes us to hate God more and more and to bow before Satan in order to get it. Don’t kid yourself. If this position seems extreme to you then you are calling God an extremist. The Lord is warning us that there is a major conflict here that steals our heart. For where a man’s treasure is, there is his heart (Matt 6:21). It is not wrong to desire what we really need to live, but our wants get us into trouble. The desire for riches ruins us and makes God seem as a thief rather than a savior. This is a very severe temptation and Jesus rebukes it forcefully. Him along shall you serve.

We need to beg God for single-hearted devotion to him. The Book of Proverbs has a nice prayer in this regard: Give me neither poverty nor riches, lest in my poverty I steal or in my riches I say “Who is the Lord?” (Prov 30:8-9, gloss)

In the end, temptations are real; we either accept God’s grace to fight them or we are going down. The Lord wants to teach us today about the reality of temptation and how to fight it, by His grace. Remember, the battle is the Lord’s and no weapon waged against us will prosper if we cling to His grace. In the end, the choice is clear: either tackle temptation (by God’s grace) or risk ruination (by Satan’s “ministrations”).

This song says,

“Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin. Each victory will help you, some other to win. Fight valiantly onward. Evil passions subdue. Look ever to Jesus, He will carry you through. Ask the Savior to help you, comfort strengthen and keep you; He is willing to aid you, He will carry you through.”

Ash Wednesday Breaks All the Rules of Modern Churchthink

The Word for Lent is Repent. Metanoiate, the Greek Word for repent, means more literally, “come to a new way of thinking.” Here then is a second installment in my proposed Lenten series challenging us to think differently and see things in a new or differently ways from the common zeitgeist.

Modern Evangelization methods and parish “mission and vision statements” seem almost exclusively focused on staying “positive.”  Keywords include: welcoming, inclusion, and diversity.  Yes indeed, come to our lovely parishes, we are a welcoming, embracing and joyful faith family! or so the sayings go. Still-shrinking numbers suggest most people aren’t buying it and don’t find the vision compelling.

And then comes Ash Wednesday, a wildly popular day that isn’t even a Holy Day of Obligation, and it breaks every rule of the typically modern parish plan. Numbers aren’t just slightly higher on Ash Wednesday, they are remarkably higher.

And what is our message (if we are faithful to it)? Simply this: “Repent, you are going to die.” And while you’re at it, fast, pray and give alms.  We further alarm the congregants with messages from the Prophet Joel and St. Paul that give  urgent admonition that we should weep and fast on account of our sins, that we must be reconciled to God. And then we smudge soot on their foreheads.

It’s pretty humbling isn’t it? The usual Catholic fare in too many parishes looks and sounds nothing like this. Sin is soft pedaled, calls to repentance and conversion are shunned as non-welcoming and even hateful, and any talk of death, judgement or the possibility of Hell is just unthinkable. Maybe Ash Wednesday teaches us that we have things to learn!

There is very little “gravitas” evident in many modern parish settings. Hence, there is often little respect given to what we do. Frankly the problem isn’t what we do, it is what we fail to do. Cheerfulness has its place but, if you don’t know the bad news, the good news is no news. And hence, we fail to explain the very reason for our existence. We’re running a spiritual hospital but through our widespread silence about sin we imply there is no real illness or dangerous injuries to avoid. So who needs our hospital?  Our widespread modern cheerfulness is  not a compelling message because deep down most people know they’re in rough shape but the appointed doctors are more interested in attracting patients than healing them.

But then comes Ash Wednesday when, for at least a minute, the doctor (pastor) is willing to say, “You’ve got to be more serious and get with the program since your death will not tarry.” And this commands the respect that so much of our other messages fail to summon. It is not the cheerful, welcoming, inclusive and diverse message we are told will fill the pews, but we do well to heed the lesson motivation is more complicated than just seeming appealing. Commanding respect through a serious and necessary message is more important than many realize. Jesus was no clown attracting people to some circus entertainment. He knew how to look crowds in the eye, urgently summon them to repent and be serious about the difficult task of being true disciples. Death and judgment awaited them and there were but two outcomes: Heaven or Hell. Something of Ash Wednesday touches this serious side of Jesus that we have too easily cast aside.

Visions in Lent: Family Life As a Seen in a Rock Tumbler.

Most Lenten reflections center on fasting or abstinence along with prayer and almsgiving. However, the word “repent” in our English bibles translates the Greek word “Metanoiate” which most literally summons us “to change (meta) the way we think (noiate).” With this in mind, I would like to post some articles this Lent that help us to think of and see things differently, and in a more helpful way.

Family life is so central to our experience and moral life that I begin by offering a humble picture of it that emphasizes its somewhat tumultuous quality. As we well know, family life can be wonderful, but it can also be challenging and even terrible at times.  We can choose our friends, but seldom can we choose our family. Family is assigned by God and thus, we do well to understand that what we want is not always the same as what we need.

Family members have a way way of keeping us humble. Siblings, especially, are ever present to remind us that we are not all we are “not all that” and that life isn’t just about us. Sadly today, many people have few, if any, siblings and this factor tends to produce a lot more narcissism and idiosyncrasy. But oh, for a few siblings to keep you humble! Parents too can humble us and also encourage us, they can edify us and also cause deep pain. Add to the mix cousins and in-laws of every sort and the mix becomes quite a show. Our families can have all the glory, and all the gorey. Among us there are saints and there are aint’s; there are the mighty oaks of legendary renown and more than a few nuts falling from the same family tree.  Ah family, can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

This Lent we do well to ponder however that even the difficult and trying aspects of family life have a way of helping us. Somehow it all reminds me of a rock tumbler.

Indeed, when I was a kid there was a school geology kit that included a “rock-tumbler” which was meant to teach us how stones can go from being jagged and drab to being smooth, polished and even colorful.  It was a round drum that looked a bit link a cement mixer. Throw in some rocks and various sorts of sand and run it for a few weeks and, shazam, the rocks came out looking beautiful, almost like gems or marble.

And this is all a paradigm or image for family life. We are the rocks and the tumbler represents life with all its twists and turns. The sand is the tuff grit that comes from living in a world that has its fair weather but overall, is a kind of sandstorm of trials and tumult, tensions and disagreements. And so the world turns and we, especially in our families, bump up against each other and face the often-abrasive sands of life. But through it all, our rough edges are chipped away, the sands cause a polish to emerge on each of us. The process is harsh and gorey, but at the end, someone beautiful emerges: the very man or woman God has created us to be. We begin as diamonds in the rough or coarse stones and come forth as beautiful jewels, polished and lightesome.

Hence, even the less desirable aspects of life can ultimately be a blessing for us. Scripture says that “All things work together for good to those who trust the Lord and are called according to His purposes.” (Rom 8:28) So, in marriages, families and parishes, the rough and tumble of human interactions is often permitted by God to smooth us, polish us and beautify us.

This is not to sanctify every problem in family life. There is some abuse that is simply evil and should in no way be considered part of the rough and tumble that helps perfect us.

But in Lent, we do well to see beyond the annoyances of life and the tensions of family, to the greater purposes of God who permits such things for our good. A little less resentment and a lot more acceptance is a good lenten theme.

Metanoiate! Think differently this Lent about the ups and downs of Family life. Thank God even for those gifts in strange packages.