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A well-known parenting expert, Dr. William Sears, writes about once having had a pretty big shouting match with his wife Martha in their kitchen. At one point their two young children, unaware of what was going on, walked into the kitchen, and then immediately turned and walked out. However, after playing outside for awhile, the two came back, only to find their mom and dad laughing, the fight long over.

Initially, Dr. Sears admits, he was distressed that his children had witnessed the fight. Later, however, he concluded that maybe they’d learned a valuable lesson, which is this: Two people can fight and wrestle with a difficult issue without their relationship being threatened, because they are truly committed to one another, having pledged to each other their unconditional love.

Such unbreakable commitment is part of the brilliance of God’s design for marriage, affirmed by Jesus in today’s gospel. In marriage, a man and a woman enter into a permanent, life-long bond, so that when the going gets rough, they don’t take the easy way out, packing up their bags and walking away. They’re forced to stay together and, with patience, love, courage, and forgiveness, to work through their difficulties and, with God’s grace, to grow as a couple, and as individuals.

This is God’s way with us, isn’t us? He has invited us into a permanent relationship- a covenant- which the Bible often describes as a marriage. And through it all, through all our ups and downs, God sticks with us, even if and when we walk away. In his unconditional love, God stays committed to us, even when we break our commitment to him- time, and time, and time again. Not for his benefit; not for his growth; but for ours.

Readings for today’s Mass: http://www.usccb.org/nab/081211.shtml

Earlier this year, many people gave up using Facebook during Lent. They’d concluded that they were spending way too much time posting, sharing, tagging, poking, and whatever else is done on Facebook!

Facebook is one of the many new vehicles of social communication that have emerged in the past few years. All in all, they’re a good thing! They bring people together and can be effective tools in spreading the gospel. Just visit the website of the Archdiocese of Washington: we’re on Twitter, You Tube, Facebook, and we have podcasts and a daily blog.

At the same time, these things have their downside too. They can become an obsession, keeping us from work and family. And they certainly spread a lot of material this is, at the very least least, at odds with our faith.

I say all this because today is the feast day of St. Clare of Assisi. We know her as a friend and disciple of St. Francis, and she cared for him in his final days.  She was so inspired by his witness that she founded a religious order for women, known today as the Poor Clares, who lived a life of work and prayer within their monasteries.

When Clare was elderly and no longer able to attend Mass with her sisters, they posted a picture of the Mass on the wall of her room, so when they were gathered in chapel, she could gaze at her picture and be with them in Spirit. It was because of this that in 1958 she was named the patron saint of television, which at that time was the “cutting edge” new media.

As we use the new media available to us in our day, we can be challenged by St. Clare to use them only in ways that are consistent with our faith: in moderation, bringing friends and family together, spreading good news, and building up the kingdom of God.

Photo credit: Wikipedia Commons

Eighteen centuries ago, St Lawrence was the deacon in Rome responsible for the church’s treasury. When a hostile Emperor sought to confiscate the church’s assets, Lawrence distributed everything to the poor. When an official demanded to see the church’s wealth, Lawrence gathered the poor before him and said “Behold, here is the Church’s treasure.” For that, he was cruelly executed.

Lawrence’s witness, however, asks us the question: How do we see the poor? Do we see them as the church’s treasure? Or do we seem them otherwise?

For instance, do we look down on them as inferior, lower class, a public nuisance, or a tax drain?

Perhaps we think they’ve gotten what they deserve. Polls reveal that the prevailing view in America is that “people are poor because of a character flaw like laziness, promiscuity, addiction, or moral failing.”

It could be that we don’t see the poor at all. Either because we intentionally ignore them or, because of where we live and work, they’re “out of sight and out of mind.”

Or maybe, because of our faith, we idealize the poor in some pious, romantic, unrealistic sort of way. 

St. Lawrence, deacon and martyr, challenges us to see the poor as brothers and sisters in the human family, to be treated, not with contempt or even pity, but with compassion, respect, generosity, and humility. As befits people with God-given dignity. As befits the treasure of the Church.

A dear friend of mine, a woman of great faith, has truly endured a “hard knock life.” When compared with most people, she’s had far more than her fair share of marital, parental, financial, physical, and psychological woes. Yet when living through her many challenges and difficulties, she’s learned to keep sight of the fact that Jesus is always with her- even during her darkest, most difficult days.

My friend speaks of faith in terms of her relationship with her dad, with whom she was very close. For instance, when he was teaching her to ride a bike, he would say: “Keep looking at me! Keep your eyes on me! If you look down, you’re going to wobble and fall!” And when he taught her to swim, he would open wide his arms and say: “Don’t be afraid and don’t look around- just swim to me!”

These fond memories remind my friend that faith involves keeping one’s eyes on Jesus, especially when one is anxious, afraid, or when the going gets rough. She explains that so often, when we find ourselves in trouble, we think we need to cry out to God and bring our distress to his attention. But in reality, Jesus is always there with us. We just need to be able to see him, with eyes of faith.

Perhaps this is a lesson we can take away from today’s gospel. As we heard, the disciples were sailing on the Sea of Galilee when they found themselves in the midst of a furious storm. Then all of a sudden Jesus appeared to them, walking on the water. But they thought that Jesus was a ghost, and they became even more afraid. Jesus saw this, and he tried to calm their fears. “Take courage, it is I;” he said, “do not be afraid.”

Peter, however, still had his doubts. So he asked Jesus if he himself could walk on the water. And he found that he could- as long as he kept his eyes on the Lord. But as soon as he looked at the wind and the waves around him, he began to sink, and he cried out for help. Jesus caught him by the arm and said: “Where is your faith? Why did you doubt me?”

One significant thing about this story is that when Jesus first approached the disciples’ boat, he didn’t stop the wind and calm the storm right away. Instead, he told his friends to be courageous. If you think about it, this is how Jesus so often deals with us. He doesn’t always, nor does he often, bring about an immediate and happy resolution to our crises. Miracles do happen, but miracles, by definition, are pretty rare. Instead, Jesus comes to us and invites us to keep our eyes fixed on him, so that we can find the hope and the strength and the meaning we need to move beyond our anger and fear. As St. Augustine once wrote, “Those who keep faith in Jesus, can walk upon the waves of the storms of life.”

Consider the story of a young man named Rick. For months Rick had suffered from severe intestinal pain, and he eagerly looked forward to an operation he was sure would cure him. But it didn’t- at least at first- and he was filled with frustration and grief. When a priest friend came to visit him, Rick kept saying: “I can’t handle this! This is ridiculous!” So his friend gently stopped him and pointed out that what Rick was saying only served to fan the flames of his anger.

Then the priest invited him to try to find some meaning in his ordeal. In other words, what could this disappointment, this illness, and this pain mean for him? After reflecting for awhile, Rick said, “Maybe God is asking me to grow up through this. Maybe he’s saying: ‘Hey Rick, stop whining.’ And my family has really been there for me too. My mom’s been great. My sister’s really been helping me. Maybe I’ve taken them for granted.” This insight didn’t change Rick’s physical condition. However, by being able to look at his situation through the lens of his faith in Jesus, he was able to find meaning and gratitude, which in turn gave him the strength he needed to carry on. (1)

How God operates is so often a mystery to us. Why he does what he does, and why he allows certain things to happen- especially the bad things- can confuse us and challenge our faith. To help us understand God’s actions, a priest friend of mine gives a helpful example. He says, “When our car gets stuck in a snow bank, sometimes God sends a tow truck to pull us out, but sometimes he just sits down next to us at the side of the road, and cries with us.” He explains that God always acts in such a way that, at the end of the day, will make us more loving people. We also need to keep in mind that sometimes God tests us so that we can learn to depend on him more than we do. As God explained to St. Catherine of Siena, “I sometimes bring (my servants) to the brink, so that they will better see and know that I can and will provide for them.”

Rick Warren, in his best-selling book, The Purpose-Driven Life, says that when we find ourselves in difficult situations, we shouldn’t say, “O Lord, why me?” Instead, we should ask, “O Lord, what do you want me to learn?” Which is excellent advice indeed! However, the possibility that God may be teaching us or testing us can be very far from our minds when we find ourselves in the midst of a storm and the waves are closing over us. At times like this, all we can do is echo the words of St. Peter: “Lord, save me!” And indeed, save us he does. To again quote our Lord’s words to St. Catherine of Siena: “I never fail my servants, so long as they put their trust in me.”

(1) story found in The Jesus Advantage by Paul J. Donoghue, Ave Maria Press, 2001

Photo Credit: Oneras, Elsie esq., and ToriaURU via CreativeCommons

Readings for today’s Mass: http://www.usccb.org/nab/080711.shtml

Have you ever experienced something that really challenged your faith? It might have been a sudden death, a serious illness, the loss of a job, betrayal by a spouse or a friend, or the reality of war, poverty, and injustice in our world. Maybe it was a combination of things that led you to question God’s love, or even God’s very existence.

Jesus’ friends certainly had their faith challenged by his betrayal, arrest, and violent execution. Yet Jesus knew that this would happen, and that’s why he allowed Peter, James and John to see him transfigured in glory. He wanted to give them something to hold on to during and after the crucifixion. They could remember that moment when Jesus shone like the sun, and hope that Jesus’ death wasn’t the final word, and believe that there was something else, something better, yet to come.

There’s a lesson here for us. Whenever we face a crisis of faith, whenever our belief in God and his love is challenged for whatever reason, we can look back to those times that God has touched our lives and revealed some of his goodness and power to us, and we can be strengthened by that.

We can recall a prayer answered, an uplifting brush with grace, a time Scripture spoke directly to our heart, or an instance where God used a situation or another person to guide our life in a certain direction. And of course we can always bring to mind what Jesus did for us during his ministry on earth. When reflect on these things, our faith is strengthened, just as the transfiguration was able to strengthen the disciples after the crucifixion.

Jesus wants us to do this. Ironic as it sounds, we might say that when our faith is shaken Jesus wants us to remember, in order that we might not forget- that he loves us, is always with us, has a plan for us, brings good our of evil, and that is greatest wish, is that we spend eternity with him, in heaven.

Readings for today’s Mass: http://www.usccb.org/nab/080611.shtml

Today it would be good for us to think about two particular priests.

First, let’s bring to mind a priest whom God has used to touch our lives in some particular way. Maybe it’s a priest who was there for us during an illness or family crisis. Perhaps it’s one whose teaching or personal witness inspires us to greater faith or continued conversion. It could be a priest who has become our spiritual director, a confessor, a personal friend.

Second, let’s also bring to mind a priest with whom, for whatever reason, we’ve found to be a “turn-off.” Rightly or wrongly, we perceive him to be too worldly or lazy or without much talent. Perhaps he’s confused or even scandalized us by his behavior, or his message.

I invite us to think of these two priests, as today is the memorial of St. John Vianney, the patron saint of parish priests. It’s a day for us to thank God for priests, and also lift them up in prayer.

St. John Vianney was a priest who touched countless lives. He was renowned throughout France as a compassionate and insightful confessor, and he made himself available for confession up to sixteen hours a day.

At the same time, St. John had his struggles, and even his critics. Early on, he was almost not ordained because of his lack of a formal education. As a priest, St. John faced demonic temptations and interferences. What’s more, certain brother priests thought him too “extreme,” an assessment sometimes rooted in envy, ignorance, or even fear.

In short, St. John was a priest whom many gave thanks for but also one whom others thought was in particular need of prayer. As we celebrate his life, let’s hold in our hearts today our two particular priests, that they may be blessed by God to be all that they’re called to be. As St. John himself said, “A good shepherd, a pastor after God’s heart, is the greatest treasure which the good Lord can grant to a parish and one of the most precious gifts of divine mercy.”

Photo Credit: *Clairity* via Creative Commons

When our prayers appear to go unanswered, and God seems distant, indifferent, or deaf, we can wonder if there’s any use in praying at all. At times like this, the experience of the woman in today’s gospel can be very helpful to us.

As we heard, she pleaded with Jesus on behalf of her sick daughter. At first, Jesus gave her no response at all. Next, Jesus’ friends asked him to send her away. And then, after she had literally fallen on her knees and begged for help, Jesus quoted a popular saying which likened her people to dogs.

Jesus was intentionally testing her faith, and she passed the test. Others might have given up, and walked away in bitterness and disappointment. But not this woman! She continued to persist, her prayer was answered, and her daughter was healed.

Her witness demonstrates the importance of persistence in prayer. Persistence is essential, for several reasons. For starters, persistence teaches us patience and honors the fact that God acts in freedom, and isn’t a spigot of grace that we can turn on and off as we wish. In addition, persistence shows to God that some need is close to our hearts, and not just a casual request. Persistence can also make clear to us that God’s agenda, and God’s timetable, are sometimes very different than ours. Sometimes God says “Yes!” Sometimes God says “No.” And sometimes God says “Not yet.”

In short, nothing should discourage us from persisting in prayer. As St. Teresa of Avila said, “God never gets tired of giving; so let us never get tired of asking.”

Readings for today’s Mass: http://www.usccb.org/nab/080311.shtml

Photo Credit: albertopveiga via Creative Commons