Last year I was teaching a math class at Saint Frances Academy and, as usual, we began the class in prayer. One of my seniors was anxious as she was awaiting word of admission to a fairly competitive college. Her prayer was simple – “Dear God, please get me into this school and get me a scholarship too!” The class erupted into laughter and debate. One of her classmates said, “You call that a prayer?”
Some of the best things that NEVER happened to me.
My student got into the school in question but the scholarship was not as big as she hoped. Nonetheless, she was determined to enroll. When she visited the campus shortly thereafter she decided that she actually hated the place. In her disappointment, she concluded that God wanted her to go elsewhere. When she informed me of her decision I told her, “I am convinced that I will spend half of eternity thanking God for everything he gave me; The other half thanking God for everything he didn’t.” She smiled and agreed.
How to pray.
We spend a great deal of time asking God for what we want. However, the spiritually mature Christian has learned to only hope for what we what. We should pray for what is best.
When reflecting on some of the greatest disappointments in my life, I realize now that had the decisions gone my way, I would not be nearly as happy as I am now. Had I gotten the job I wanted out of college, I would have never discovered how much I enjoy teaching at a Catholic high school. Had I gotten the house that I prayed for, I would not be living in a home that I love with neighbors whom I genuinely like. Any number of the decisions that I thought were setbacks in my life would have steered me away from a career that I enjoy and a wife that I love very much. In fact, those events were not setbacks at all but rather, course corrections.
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom – 1 Cor 1:25
Brothers and sisters, approach God humbly and pray for wisdom above all other things. In other words, try not to tell God how you want something done. Instead, try asking God – “Is this what I really want?”
OK, so many of you who went to Mass today hear the “Infamous” line: Wives should be subordinate to their Husbands as to the Lord. For the Husband is the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is the Head of the Church…so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything; (Eph 5:20-21, 23) Well apparently the Holy Spirit didn’t get the memo that we don’t think and talk like that today! 🙂
Alright, so maybe it grates on modern ears today but don’t just dismiss what God teaches here. One of the great dangers of this passage is that it is so startling to modern ears that many people tune out after the first line into their own thoughts and reactions and thus miss the rest of what God has to say. You may notice that there is text that follows and before a man gloats at the first line or a women reacts with anger or sadness we do well to pay attention to the rest of the text which spells out the duties of a husband. You see if you’re going to be the head of a household there are certain requirements that have to be met. God’s not playing around here or choosing sides. He has a comprehensive plan for husbands that is demanding and requires him to curb any notions that authority is about power and to remember that, for a Christian, authority is always given so that the one who has it may serve (cf Mark 10:42-45).
So what are the requirements for a husband?
Husbands, love your wives– Pay attention men, don’t just tolerate your wife, don’t just bring home money, don’t just love in some intellectual sort of way. LOVE your wife with all your heart. Beg God for the grace to love your wife tenderly, powerfully and unconditionally. Did you hear what God says? LOVE your wife! Now he goes on to tell you to love her in three ways: passionately, purifyingly and providingly.
Passionate love – even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her. The Greek word (Paradidomi) translated here as “handed over” always refers in the New Testament to Jesus’ crucifixion. Husbands, are you willing to give your life for your wife and children? Are you willing to die to yourself and give your life as a daily sacrifice for them? God instructs you to love your wife (and children) with the same kind of love he has for his Bride the Church. That kind of love is summed up in the cross. Love your wife passionately, be willing to suffer for her, be willing to make sacrifices for her and the children.
Purifyingly – to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Now a husband cannot sanctify his wife in the same way God can. But what a husband is called to do is to help his wife and children grow in their relationship to Jesus Christ. He is first to be under God’s authority himself and thus make it easier for his wife and children to live out their baptismal commitments. He ought to a spiritual leader in his home, praying with his wife and children, reading scripture and seeing to it that his home is a place where God is loved and obeyed, first of all by him. His wife should not have to drag him to Church, he should willingly help her to grow in holiness and pray with her every day. And he should become more holy as well and thus make it easier for his wife to live the Christian life.
Providingly – So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it – Husbands, take care of your wife in her needs. She needs more than food money and shelter, these days she can get a lot of that for herself. What she needs even more is your love, understanding, and appreciation. She needs for you to be a good listener and wants an attentive husband who is present to her. Like any human being she needs reassurance and affirmation. Tell her of your love and appreciation, don’t just presume she knows. Show care for your wife, attend to her needs just like you instinctively do for your own self. That’s what God is teaching here.
OK, so scripture DOES teach that a wife should be submitted to her husband. But what kind of husband does scripture have in mind? A husband who really loves his wife, who is a servant leader, who is makes sacrifices for his wife, who is prayerful and spiritual, submitted to God’s authority and who cares deeply for his wife and her needs. The same God who teaches submission (and he does) also teaches these things clearly for the husband. The teaching must be taken as a whole.
For more on this consider listening to my sermon on this from today. It is here (Teaching on Marriage) in mp3 format. It is 35 minutes! but consider downloading it if you can’t listen just now. You can download this and other sermons of mine by going here: http://frpope.com/audio/recordings.phpand then right clicking on the title of any talk and selecting the “Save Target As” option. You can also get my sermons at iTunes. Just search on my name. Perhaps put this or other sermons on your iPod and listen when you get the chance.
This video clip is from the movie Fireproof and depicts a heartfelt apology from a husband who realizes he has not loved his wife as he should. A beautiful movie available at Amazon if you have never seen it.
Every now and then we need to be reminded that God really loves us. Some of us struggle with this notion especially when we have sinned or experienced a shortcoming. Some times we don’t feel very lovable. But consider this:
Before you were ever formed in you mother’s womb God knew you and loved you (Jer. 1:4)
God knit you together in your mother’s womb (Ps 139:13)
You are fearfully wonderfully made (Ps 139:14)
Every one of your days and deeds were written in God’s book before one of them ever came to be. (Ps. 139:16)
So God knew you and planned for you. You cannot earn his love you already have it. In fact you had it before you were born, before you had done anything. As for your sins God knew all about them too. Sin does not cancel God’s love but it does limit and ultimately sever our acceptance of that love. “Ah but what about Hell?” you might say. Yes a great tragedy, but do you suppose that God’s love does not extend there also? After all God does not destroy the souls in hell. He still sustains and provides for them. He loves them still. It is they who do not love him or His kingdom and he will not force it on them.
So face it God loves you, he even likes you. He does not love you because you deserve it. He loves you for “no good reason.” His love cannot be explained in any human terms. He loves you simply because he does, because he is Love. If you have never experienced this love, get on your knees and ask for this necessary gift.
Maybe these videos will help. The first one is a beautiful musical reflection by Don Francisco “I’ll Never Let Go of Your Hand” (available at iTunes). The Second one I have posted before about a young firefighter who powerfully experiences the unmerited love that God has for him.
One of the great losses of our day is that many people no longer know the fundamental story of Sin and Salvation. The narrative of that story is essential to understanding EVERYTHING. In as brief a way as possible here is that fundamental story:
Resting in Love: Adam and Eve were lovingly created by God and placed in a garden paradise called Eden. They enjoyed great intimacy with God who walked with them each day, in the cool of the evening as the dew was collecting on the grass. God sought them in love each day.
Ruined by Lust: He never wanted them to know evil or experience its poison so he warned them of a tree whose fruit would unlock the power of evil and cause them to die spiritually. But Adam and Eve yielded to the terrible influence of a serpent, Satan, who appealed to their pride and lust for power. Satan had done nothing for them and God everything, but they listened to Satan who told them they would become like gods and be able to overpower God (who loved them). Yielding to pride and ingratitude, failing to trust God who had warned them, Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit and set loose it’s terrible poison. They immediately felt shame and vulnerability, as fear and the poison of sin flooded their souls.
Resulting Losses: God came to the garden at the usual time, but Adam and Eve were not there to joyfully great him. They had hidden themselves out of anger and shame and were no longer able to sense the love that God still had for them. God called out: “Adam where are you?!” But Adam (and Eve) had turned inward and could not tolerate the presence of God. Upon finding them in their sorry state God questioned them as to their bitter condition. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. God explained the consequences of this terrible poison they had eaten. Eve would bring forth her children in pain and experience domination from Adam. To Adam he explained that the whole earth had been cursed on account of what they had done and that it would only yield fruit with great difficultly and hard work.
Restored to Love In anger, God cursed the serpent and promised that he would heal this awful wound. One day He would cause the fruit of woman’s womb to crush Satan’s power. And sure enough, after centuries of preparation, the giving of the Law and the sending of the prophets to prepare the people, God did work to heal the awful wound. He had never stopped loving Adam and Eve or their Children. Now he would show the depths of his love by sending his own Son Jesus to die in our place so we would not have to die eternally. Our demise had come through a man, a woman and a tree. Now our redemption, our salvation, would also include a man, (the new Adam) Christ, a woman, (the new Eve), Mary and the tree of the cross. The awful wound was healed by Christ and the gates of paradise were again opened. And this healing has begun in us once again. God had never really stopped calling. But now that the wound was being healed we could once again hear the call and make a response. “Adam (Eve) where are you? And how will you respond?
Don’t you see? This brief story tells everything. It explains that something is terribly wrong with us and needs healing. Sin has grievously wounded us so that we can no longer hear and experience God’s love. It explains where the deep drives of rebellion and selfishness, lust and greed, anger and retribution, envy and sloth that so deeply afflict us come from. It also explains that the whole earth was cursed by Adam’s sin. This is why there are earthquakes, disease, floods, fire and death. Humanity, indeed the whole created world is desperately in need of God’s healing. And now it is available through Jesus Christ. The healing can begin for us if we accept the call to Baptism and faith. If we are faithful to prayer, scripture and sacraments, little by little we can hear the voice of God calling to us, Adam (Eve) where are you?!! And the deep drives of sin begin to loose their strength and be replaced by better drives such as love, compassion, kindness, generosity, Chasity, patience, mercy, confidence and deep faith in God’s love for us.
You gotta know the story and answer the call: “Where are you?!” Answer Him, he’s calling.
I suppose my many words can be better said by a song: “Adam Where are You?!”
Today I welcome our guest blogger Alice Culbreth, Director of Christian Formation at St. Peter Church in Waldorf, to share her WYD experience.
Rome. Toronto. Cologne. Sydney. It’s hard to believe that I’m starting to prepare for my (and our parish’s) 5th World Youth Day Pilgrimage (to Madrid, Spain in 2011). After Rome in 2000, I really wanted to believe myself when I said “never again”:). It is, by all worldly, physical and even emotional standards, a difficult journey to undertake. While the spiritual benefits are amazing, far-reaching and life-changing, could any pilgrimage top the mountain-top experience of being in Rome during the new millennium and jubilee year? Was it possible to embrace my faith at any deeper level then when I walked into St. Peter’s Basilica through the Jubilee Door for the very first time or kneeled at the tomb of the one whom Jesus handed the Keys of the Kingdom to? And even if my spiritual life was nourished and nurtured beyond expectations , would it be worth the hardships endured?
Almost 10 years and 4 World Youth Days later, I answer with a resounding “YES”. Whatever struggles, sacrifices and significant occurrences of sleep deprivation have been offered up in prayerful humility, I would do it all again. While there have been many lessons learned along the way, I wouldn’t change the dynamics of these incredible walks with the Lord. I have been witness to emerging vocations, friendships formed beyond the language barrier, deepened prayer lives, embracing of the sacramental life of the Church, defining moments when our youth have come to the recognition that not only is it “cool to be Catholic”, but an honor and privilege as well. What a blessing
it has been for me to be part of this!
I am so honored to have been called to help guide this young Church in their formation and lead them to friendship with Jesus Christ. Being part of World Youth Day over the years has inspired me tremendously as I have seen the hope of our faith in the faces and shared prayers of these young people. Being part of their enthusiasm, deep faith and commitment to the Gospel recharges my own spiritual batteries and reaffirms my own commitment to ministry in the Church. If I had time (and the space in this blog, LOL) I would write about each one of these journeys and share the experience with you! But this needs to ‘come to an end’ at least for now.
We’re just about two years away from Madrid in 2011 and on behalf of the Office of Youth Ministry, your parish is invited to join us on this exciting spiritual adventure. The office is already accepting deposits and we’re incredibly enthusiastic about the amount of time we will have to do fundraising before the actual trip. The pilgrimage begins in Fatima, Portugal and ends in Lourdes, France, with many stops at holy sites and shrines in cities throughout Spain. If you’re interested in learning more about this opportunity, contact the Office of Youth Ministry at 202-281-2466. Additionally, if you would like a team of adults/youth who have lived the WYD experience to come and talk to your parish about the why and how of participating, let the office know when you call.
Praying that you will continue to be open to the workings of the Holy Spirit in your
lives, hearts and ministries.
Grace and Peace,
Alice Culbreth
Director of Christian Formation
St. Peter Church – Waldorf
How about them health care town hall meetings! Why is it so hard for us to have a serious debate in which people are able listen to one another and respectfully respond to one another. Why is it so hard for people to imagine that the owner of their favorite grocery store may have a different viewpoint than their own? (google Whole Foods, if you don’t what this about!) .
It makes me embarrassed as an American to see us failing to practice the art of good healthy public debate that marks a free society. It also makes me want to ignore the whole issues which is neither smart or responsible.
A duty of discipleship
When I am talking to groups about the mission of the laity, I like to sum it up in three short phrases (borrowed from the document Go and Make Disciples). As Christians we are called to live our faith fully, share our faith freely and transform the world. It is an interpretation of 1Peter 2 in which we are reminded that all the baptized share in the priestly prophetic and kingly mission of Jesus. http://www.usccb.org/nab/bible/1peter/1peter1.htm
Stewards of God’s gifts
To the people who first heard these words, the association they would make with a kingly mission is the image of the ancient king as a steward of God’s people and God’s gifts. In the ancient mindset, the king served the Lord by serving the Lord’s people and being accountable for building up the kingdom according to God’s design.
As lay men and women we also have a specific responsibility to build the kingdom of God. One way all of us can do that is to bring the light of the Gospel to bear on the issues of the day, not in a way that imposes our faith, but rather proposes insight from the Gospel and from the Church’s 2,000 years of experience in applying faith to life. In a number of areas, the Church has expertise that goes beyond the application of theological principles to active ministry in the field. Education, social services, and health care are all fields in which the church has been a leader in all corners of the country and the world.
Wading into the Health Care Debate
The Church most definitely has an interest in health care reform and has some expertise to bring to the table. I imagine that all of us have an interest as well, but more than an interest we have a responsibility to weigh the issues in light of the Gospel and the teaching of our Church. If figuring out what the real issues are and the right questions to ask seems impossible–help has come. The Culture of Life Foundation has identified 12 key questions we should be asking as we listen to the debate. The questions can be found at http://culture-of-life.org//content/view/582/1/. The questions reflect the Church’s commitment to protect the dignity of human life at all stages and the responsibility we have as stewards to assume the cost of the plan. I find the answers short, easy to understand and most helpfully, linked to specific references of the House bill.
Study and Prayer
We are called to make our voices heard in two ways. Firstly, in prayer asking the Spirit’s guidance and wisdom for all those with responsibility in crafting the legislation. Secondly, in the public debate by participation in conversation, and in the public discourse through contacting our elected representatives.
Some people say that if they could see they would believe. But seeing is not believing, seeing is only seeing.
Consider the video just below. It looks like a miracle before your very eyes. Is it a miracle or just some fancy illusion. Most people even upon seeing what looks like it can only be a miracle usually conclude that it is a trick or that there is “some way they do that.”
Now remove these magicians in the video and go with me back in time as Jesus works a miracle. Presume for a moment that you’ve never met Jesus or heard of him. Yet watch him cast out blindness or enable a paralyzed man to walk. Is it a miracle, or is it a clever trick? Should you really beleive his claims to be from God and to be God based on these wonderful works? Has Jesus staged this well or is he really the Son of God? You see? It still takes faith doesn’t it? You just can’t substitute for faith, it is an absolute requirement to accept who Jesus is. Miracles can help but seeing is not believing, it’s only seeing. In the end you have to decide: fancy trick or real miracle? Son of God or just a skilled illusionist?
Watch this video and see what look like real miracles before your very eyes. But pay attention to what your mind does and how quickly you can dismiss the visual evidence. Seeing even fantastic things just isn’t enough. In this case they likely are not miracles, just very well done illusions. But many saw Jesus work wonders which relly were miracles and it was not enough. You have to have faith. In other words, some people think if only God would work miracles in their life, they could believe. But miracles alone cannot bring faith because seeing is not believing it is only seeing.
Cumulative evidence can bring us to accept God’s existence as a reasonable proposition but only faith can really lead us to believe all that God has said. Pray for faith and you will see miracles, and more!
Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1)
We often think that worry and anxiety just happen to us. But the fact is that they result from our thoughts. Thoughts are the source of our worry. If we tend to think negatively, or to catastrophize or to focus on negative things we will grow anxious and sometimes angry. But the Bible says we ought to “dedicate ourselves to thankfulness.” (Colossians 3:21). In other words count your blessings and have an attitude of gratitude. We ought to discipline our minds every day and spend some time thanking God for what went right. As Phillipians 4:8 puts it: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
What you feed grows. Focus on negative things and sure enough anxiety and anger increase and our sense of the negative grows. Focus on positive things and blessings and guess what, we are less anxious overall and our sense of well being grows.
Try it out for 30 Days. Let me know how it goes. The video below features a classic Spiritual: Didn’t My Lord Deliver Daniel? It list the many people God saved of old and then asks, “And why not every man?” That’s right even you and me. It will be alright. God may not come when you want him but He’s always right on time.
Last year I was teaching a math class at Saint Frances Academy and, as usual, we began the class in prayer. One of my seniors was anxious as she was awaiting word of admission to a fairly competitive college. Her prayer was simple – “Dear God, please get me into this school and get me a scholarship too!” The class erupted into laughter and debate. One of her classmates said, “You call that a prayer?”
