Author: Capital Catholic Happenings

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Having a Diversity of Friendships

business_diversity_469779This is a second excerpt from Dr. Katherine Yohe’s lecture at the Office of Young Adult Ministry’s Relationship Speaker and Discussion Series. The first may be found here: What is Christian Friendship?

Occasionally I have read authors who have stressed similarity as part of their definitions of friendship (namely, Cicero and Aristotle). If two people are very similar, friendships can form quicker and are easier to maintain. The very ease of these friendships make them a great gift in our lives. But Christians can still be friends when such natural similarities are lacking.

I was recently reading Tom Rath’s book, Vital Friendships, where the author argued that we should never expect any one friend, including a spouse, to meet all our needs. Rather, we should look to build many friendships with people having different temperaments, perspectives, abilities, and talents. For example, some friends will be better at encouraging and motivating us, others at challenging us and opening our minds to see things differently, and others at working along side us. These friendships take longer to form, but can be very enriching as we explore new areas of study, have our assumptions challenged, gain new insights, and enjoy new types of music, art, movies, or food.

St. Paul’s description of the Body of Christ points in a similar direction. While friends in Christ need to have some things in common – such as their commitment to Christ and Christian morals and values – there is plenty of room for diversity. The Spirit unites people of different incomes, places in the social strata, cultures, nationalities, and ages. The Spirit gives different gifts to different members so that together they make up the full body of Christ (Rom. 12:1-8). St. Catherine of Sienna even thought that God gave different people different chief virtues so that we would we need to be in relationship with each other in order to develop all the virtues.

Because Christian friendships are soldered together in the Spirit, anything we do to draw closer to God will in turn strengthen our friendships. Pray for strength, wisdom, and patience. Study Scripture to learn the character of Christ and how he related to his friends. Make use of sacramental graces to unite with Christ and be transformed by Him. The more our friendships are formed by the Spirit, the more these friendships will help us unite even more deeply with God who is Love.

What virtue in one of your friends do you most want to develop? How can your friendship support this development?

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What is Christian Friendship?

From time to time, we invite guest bloggers to share their wisdom with us, and today I would like to present Dr. Katherine Yohe who earned her PhD in Historical Theology from the Catholic University of America. On July 19th 2009, she gave a lecture for the Office of Young Adult Ministry’s Relationship Speaker and Discussion Series. The following is an excerpt from that presentation.

Christian friendships are relationships of mutual affection and service, with in-depth conversations, enlivened by the Holy Spirit.

Mutual
While other forms of love can be one sided, friendships are not friendships unless they are seen as such by both parties. We cannot be someone’s friend if he or she do not consider us a friend in turn. Jesus called friends those who, in turn, were friendly toward him such as Lazarus, John, and the disciples at the last supper. However, we can desire a friendship, reach out in friendship, and offer friendship before there is a return of friendship. Jesus offered friendship, it seems, to everyone. For example, who is he talking about when he says: “Greater love has no one than he lay down his life for his friends”? (John 15:13) Who was he laying down his life for? Everyone!

Affection
Affection does not referring to signs of affection per se – such as big hugs – but rather to a movement of the heart that radiates through the eyes and says “I am glad to be with you” or “I enjoy being in your presence.” Can you imagine what the gaze of Jesus must have looked like? Or think of times in your own life: What has Jesus’ love felt like during those graced moments when we have encountered Him? Christ’s love is affectionate; it isn’t mechanical. It isn’t “I’ll be nice to this person because I have to.” Rather it has a warmth, a joy, a delight in being with the other – taking time to walk, eat, and even spend eternity with that person.

Service
Friendship goes beyond the emotional component to service. Good friends do not want to just be together, they want to do things for each other. Jesus served his friends in both little and big ways. He washed their feet, he cooked breakfast for them by the Sea of Galilee, and he died for them.

In-depth Conversations
These are conversations which reveal one’s interior life. Jesus spent a lot of time talking with his friends about who he is, how he prays and understands the Scriptures, what his plans are for the world, and how they can participate in this work. At the last supper he says, “I shall not call you servants any longer, because I servant does not know his master’s business,  I call you friends because I have made know to you everything I have learned from my Father.” (John 15:15)

Enlivened by the Holy Spirit
As Saint Augustine states, addressing God, “For friendship cannot be true unless You solder it together among those who cleave to one another by love ‘poured forth into our hearts by the Holy Spirit’” (Confessions 4.7, quoting Romans 5:5) Thus the love that Christian friends have for each other is inspired, moved, empowered, by the very love of God flowing through each of them. Just as the Father and Son are united in the love that is the Holy Spirit, so to do Christian friends love one another with the Spirit’s love.

What can you do today to strengthen your Christian friendships?

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How many babies are too many?

mosiac of the vine and branches, San Clemente, RomaWhen you hear a phrase like “culture of death” do you think it seems a bit exaggerated? I tend to like to err on the side of optimism. However, that is sorely tested when I read stories like the one in today’s Wall Street Journal titled ” America’s Babies Are Ruining Everything.”   Two researchers from Oregon State have written a study that suggests that having less children will greatly help reducing the world’s carbon foot print.

If you are someone who recycles, installs energy efficient windows, cuts back on the number of miles you drive in an energy efficient car, but chooses to have two children, you add nearly 40 times the amount of carbon dioxide emissions you had saved on the above measures. William McGurn writes “The basic premise of the study is that a person is responsible for emissions of his or her descendants.”

The Culture of Death

This kind of thinking is an example of what Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI mean when they speak of  a “culture of death.” This research wants us to believe that the world is worse off for the birth of children, that somehow we have to get serious about limiting births. Gases aside, Japan, China and Western Europe are facing serious societal problems for having encouraged or legislated the limiting  of the number of children a family can have or limiting and placing a higher value on boy babies.  This is a serious moral issues with a profound lack of faith at its foundation.

The Gift of Life

God is the author of life and so every human life is both intended by God and a gift. Surely, when God gave stewardship of the earth and its resources to man and woman, God envisioned a partnership in which life can flourish (human, animal and plant). To be sure there are serious challenges we face is making food, water and resources available to all people, but people on all sides of the political debate agree that there are solutions to those problems.

Going Green with God

Pope Benedict is committed to going green because it is the responsible stewardship to which God pledged us at the moment of the creation of man and because Pope Benedict knows that the only real reason for “going green” is to enhance the quality of life for all women and men and to exercise good stewardship of God’s gifts.

Witnesses to the Culture of Life

Learning about studies like this one, carefully reading the news, getting involved in the complicated process of healthcare reform and what it will say with regard to abortion, learning about euthanasia , getting involved in the same-sex marriage debate, is a responsibility of discipleship and in particular the lay mission and vocation.  There are people in many segments of society who are chipping away fundamental Judeo-Christian values that have shaped our country from its beginning. We have be prepared to witness to the Good News and to the culture of life.

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The Priesthood and Celibacy

Over the weekend, I got into a discussion with a friend about the priesthood and celibacy that went something like this:

Is it possible and appropriate nowadays to observe such an obligation? Has the time not come to break the bond linking celibacy with the priesthood in the Church? Could the difficult observance of it not be made optional? Would this not be a way to help the priestly ministry and facilitate ecumenical approaches? And if the golden law of sacred celibacy is to remain, what reasons are there to show that it is holy and fitting?

I say “something like this” because I’ve just quoted the exact questions which the encyclical The Celibacy of the Priest sought to answer…in 1967! I was surprised as I was reading the first few paragraphs, because more than forty years later  it sounded as if it were written yesterday.

In light of recent scandals, plenty of opinions about the priestly obligation to “perfect and perpetual continence for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Canon 277 §1) have been featured on the news, yet the disagreements are rather old and worn. Can we disagree with the fact that Christ lived celibately? “Like Christ Himself, His minister is wholly and solely intent on the things of God and the Church, and he imitates the great High priest who lives ever in the presence of God in order to intercede in our favor.” (28, The Celibacy of the Priest)

The encyclical answers each of the disagreements in a orderly fashion to reveal the truth and beauty of the gift of celibacy. If you have questions about priestly celibacy or have friends that are asking about it, I highly recommend that you read it.

With the many distractions, temptations, and seductions faced by priests in our culture today, let’s continue to pray that they nurture their gift of celibacy.

St. John Vianney, pray for us and our priests! (Feast Day: August 4th)

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Being in the Moment

marthandmary

Today, we celebrate St. Martha, one of the figures in Scripture with whom many of us can easily identify. Martha and her sister Mary invited Jesus to dinner and in a scene we can easily imagine—because we’ve been there—Martha points out to Jesus that while she is running around doing all of the work, Mary is just sitting around chatting. Who hasn’t had this experience? A sibling who chats with Aunt Mary, while you clear the table, a co-worker who seems always to disappear when its time for heavy lifting, a spouse who goes for a run, two hours before guests are to arrive. Surprisingly, Jesus who is all about serving, seems to reprimand Martha, saying “ Martha, Martha, you are busy about many things, and only one is necessary, Mary has chosen the better part.” http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/bible/luke/luke10.htm  At first glance, it appears that Jesus is suggesting that the contemplative life is “better” than the active life.  Saint Augustine raises this very question. In Sermon 104 he says if this is what Jesus meant than we ought to stop feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the sick and sit down and take up our prayer books. That however is not the way of the Christian. Augustine points out that Martha’s fault is not her hospitality for that is at the heart of the Christian life, but that she is so distracted by her tasks that she fails to recognize her Lord whom she loves, is here in her midst and she ought not to miss the importance of the moment. Martha is being given a taste of heaven and she’s about to miss it.

 

To Be or to Do

 

Augustine points out that heaven is sitting at the feet of the Lord, that all our work in done and our reward is to sit with the Lord and be filled with the grace of his presence. In heaven there will be no more to do, we will just be…. For many of us, this is a scary thought, we who are far more comfortable doing than being. When we try to be still, to pray contemplatively, we get so easily distracted, or we find ourselves saying, I am too busy to pray, I wish I had more time, but…. Jesus gently reminds Martha and us, that it is not good to be so distracted we fail to recognize him in the moment. It’s those moments at Mass, when we realize we are making the grocery list rather than listening to the Gospel, when we intend to leave work a little earlier so that we can get to Adoration or to Confession, but we start one more thing, when we check our blackberry first thing in the morning rather than praying.

 

Our service will only be as good as our prayer.  It’s not that the contemplative life is better is better than the active life, or that some of us are Martha’s and some are Mary’s but rather we are both. We are active contemplatives who are quick to recognize Jesus in the moment.

 

Take a moment to be contemplative in front of the screen and look at www.sacredspace.ie.


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In Search of Community

 A few weeks ago in my Pick a Parish blog, I shared one of difficulties in ministering to the young adult population (parish-hopping), and today I introduce a second, more problematic, issue.

A recent conversation between two young adults and a deacon went something like this:

Young Adult 1: I think as a single person it’s hard to find community, ya know?

Deacon: Well, are you serving in any of your parish ministries?

Young Adult 1: No.

Deacon: There are so many places to serve in your parish and neighborhood where you would be surrounded by a strong community.

Young Adult 2: Well, I think what he’s saying is that those are all communities where you give. And I think we’re looking for a community where we can receive.

Yikes!

Who is teaching us that it’s better to receive than to give? Where did we learn that self-centered activities would bring us happiness? How did we become such a disconnected generation?

“Keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus who himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”(Acts 20:35)

Now, I’m certainly not discounting the feelings of loneliness that some single young adults feel or the need for intimate friendships that we all have.  But here is one solution that’s proven to work!

Pray daily.
Commit to a parish.
Discern your God-given gifts. (Time-Talent-Treasure)
Use these gifts to serve in your parish and your neighborhood.

This is how we can create supportive, loving communities full of vibrant friendships which reflect the self-giving love of the Most Holy Trinity.

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In God’s House

chludov_miriam

I’m sure like me you have watched the video of the couple who danced down the aisle at the start of their wedding ceremony. The Washington Post hailed the video as a picture of unbridled joy. Christian bloggers are questioning the appropriateness of such a dance in a Church. If you have not seen the video. You can find it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=player_embedded

Is there a place for dance in Church? Sometimes, yes.  The first liturgy I attended at Saint Peter’s in Rome was the closing Mass of the Synod on the Church in Africa in 1991. The liturgy began with a liturgical dance in which the dancers gave thanks to God for the gifts of the earth of Africa. Dancers processed in carrying on their head huge baskets of the native fruits of the Africa. Drums beat in thanksgiving for the gift of the music of Africa and the Book of the Gospels proclaimed the gift the Good News to the people of Africa. The procession was magnificent.

Liturgical Dance

Closer to home, I’ve seen liturgical dancers, before the liturgy begins, carry in candles as a celebration of Jesus who is light of the world and we who are the light of Christ for others. Some choirs will process in a simple two-step pattern singing God’s praises.  In cases like this, dance can help raise our minds and hearts to God.

In God’s House

What is so appalling about this choice of dance is that it said nothing about God, it was all about the dancers. It was self-indulgent in a way that has no place in the house of the Lord.  When in God’s house, it’s all about God. We go to church to give praise and thanks to God. We marry in the church to thank God for the gift of our spouse , to ask God to bless the marriage and to to be a part of the every day life of the marriage.  If there is the be dancing, it should be in praise of  God.

Scripture is in fact filled with God’s people dancing in praise at  the right time and in the right place.  The right place and the right time for this procession was at the reception, there, it indeed would have been good fun.

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“Do or not do. There is no try.” Or is there?

pathsIn the article “How to Discern Elements of Your Personal Vocation” by Fr. Peter Ryan, Professor of Moral Theology at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary, he says,

“With respect to future possibilities, we cannot discern whether we should do something, but only whether we should try to do it…The real possibility that we could die before we carry something out or that other things could intervene and make something impossible should warn us not to conclude that we are definitely called to do something in the future, but only that we are called to try to do it. Often enough, all God wants is the effort; and if we make the effort, we produce the results he desires.”

Takes a lot of the pressure off, doesn’t it!

Brian doesn’t have to discern whether he will marry Leslie; he only has to try to date her. Cheryl doesn’t have to discern whether she will be a religious sister; she only has to try to live in the community for a time. Tim doesn’t have to discern whether he will be a priest; he only has to apply to the seminary and see if he is accepted. Where these people end up on the other side of their decision to try is in God’s hands.

Young adults are at a point in their lives where they are discerning many things including personal vocations. Personally, I’m often frustrated with the fact that I can’t see the future, and even more frustrated when what I think will happen doesn’t end up happening. (What can I say, I’m a planner.) But as Fr. Ryan says, our effort to try is often what God desires as it shows faith and hope. God wants us to say to him, “I don’t know where this path will lead, but Yes Lord, I’m going to follow you anyway.” We can act within these uncertainties saying and believing, Thy Will be done.