Author: Capital Catholic Happenings

This Saturday, the Office of Young Adult Ministry is hosting our Argentina Missionary Reunion and Information Session. 

Young adults who are interested in going on our mission trip in December will have the chance to meet and hear stories from the young adult missionaries of 2008 and 2009! The afternoon will including Mass, a potluck lunch, reflections on the mission work of the Church, testimonies from missionaries, and photo-sharing.

I want to share with you the reflections of Michael Paris, a seminarian that went on mission in 2009.

One of the things that struck me the most was seeing the great healing power of family. We hear that whatever happens to you in childhood sets you for life, that you can be permanently messed up based on your early experiences. Yet in these homes [for foster children] they live as true families, with the priests, sisters and volunteers as fathers and mothers. Many of the residents have had the most terrible things happen to them as little children. Yet with the love of God, the fathers, the sisters and the other residents they can find healing and strength. The faith is passed down and many of these people experience genuine happiness and go on to live good lives. Some even embrace the priesthood and religious life. Love and relationships can heal even the most deep seated wounds.

For more information about this Saturday’s event and our mission trip in December, please email [email protected]. All are welcome!

I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot recently, both same sex and opposite sex.  In the past, I’ve shared blogs on What is Christian Friendship? and Having a Diversity of Friendships. But when I wrote the blog Marriage and Womanhood, one of the “rules” that people had a hard time agreeing with was #3 “Do not have an intimate friendship with a man who is not dating you.”

A few weeks back, I came across this blog from Damian Wargo of The King’s Men, and I am reprinting it here with permission. It certainly challenges us to look at our opposite sex friendships in light of marriage:

Not too long ago, on a train ride to my hometown of Altoona, PA,  I met a very friendly woman from Texas who was headed on a trip to Pennsylvania’s Amish country about 60 miles west of Philadelphia.

“You know the Amish don’t have Honky Tonk,” I joked.
“But, they may have more trackers than Texas,” she joked right back.

Joking with a talkative stranger is one of the best ways to guarantee a nonstop conversation straight to your given destination. My work was going to have to wait a few hours.

It doesn’t take Texans long to get into deeper conversation. “He was my best friend. We did everything together,” the woman confided in me. Sadly, she had recently lost her husband. He was only 59. She shared with me her heartbreak and deep of loss of her companion for life. They had been an “item” since the 8th grade and were married for nearly four decades. That’s longer than I have been alive, I thought!

We talked for about an hour more about a wide variety of topics until the train pulled up alongside a few horse-and-buggies, a sure sign we were in Amish country.   “My name is Theresa, by the way, but everyone calls me Tessy.” Texas-appropriate, I thought.

Not too long after meeting Tessy, I met another woman, Janet, who was much younger than Tessy and had never been married. But Janet shared something in common with Tessy. Her best friend was also of the opposite sex. His name was Brian. Brian and Janet met in college and had been best friends ever since. They talked about everything under the sun and spent quite a bit of time together. Like a number women I had met, she said she enjoyed being around the guys a lot more than the girls.

On many levels, I can relate to this kind of friendship. Yet, at the same time, something about it just doesn’t seem right.

First, a close opposite sex friendship could be keeping a person from close same sex friendships. Both men and women benefit greatly from strong same sex friendships. For instance, men need other men as a support with common struggles, a firm challenge when necessary, and a summons into the noble battle to protect women and children from the many dangers they face in today’s culture.  Inordinately prioritizing a close friendship with woman, a man may not develop completely into manhood.

Second, a close opposite sex friendship could be keeping a person from pursuing an opposite sex romantic relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. This could be true on a practical and emotional level.

Third, as much as it may be denied, in almost every close opposite sex friendship, one of the parties is romantically interested in the other and wants more. This can lead to lots of frustration.

Finally, how desirous would it be for a spouse to have a best friend of the opposite sex? Can you imagine being out with both men at the same time? “This is my husband, Mike and this is my best friend, Javier.” If one of the parties is in a romantic relationship, a close opposite sex friendship is no longer appropriate.

Of course, there is a period in a romantic relationship prior to the courtship stage when men and women should become close friends. Certainly, this stage of courtship is appropriate, good, and holy.

It’s beautiful that Tessy and her husband  became more than just friends – they were best friends. The life-long companionship she had with her husband is something I long for with my future wife, God-willing!

Around the year 461 A.D. St. Patrick of Ireland wrote:

“How else has it lately come about in Ireland that those how never even knew God, but up till now had always worshipped nothing but idols and impure things, are now suddenly made the people of the Lord, so that they are now called children of God?  Meanwhile, so many sons and daughters of the kings of the Irish are now proud to be counted monks and virgins of Christ…Not that their fathers agree with their decision; more often than not, they gladly suffer persecution, yes, and even false charges from their own parents. Yet, in spite of all, their number continues to grow more and more. …But the Lord has given his grace to so many women who are serving him in this way, so that even when they are forbidden, they continue steadfastly to follow his example.”
(The Confession of St. Patrick, Part IV, sections 41-42)

From what I hear from vocation directors and those who have chosen consecrated life themselves, this is just as true today as it was 1549 years ago.

Now I’m not going to go into some deep philosophical discussion about why this is true. Rather, I want to share what I plan to do when I have children, because honestly I’m pretty excited about the thought of one of my children being consecrated! (If I am blessed with children, God-willing!)

God has already put many wonderful people in my life who have consecrated themselves to God. It all started with a best friend from 7th grade summer camp who is now a nun, then I met her friend who is now a priest, then I met his friend who was a priest at my parish, and of course, now that I work at the Archdiocese I have met many more stellar priests and sisters.

I can’t wait to have them over for family dinners. I can’t wait to take my family to visit them in their parishes and monasteries. I can’t wait for my daughter to see the joy on my friend’s face when she talks about her love of God and her vocation to pray. I can’t wait for my son to watch my friend as he celebrates the Mass.

Is there a parish priest that you admire and want to invite to the next family cookout? Do you know a charismatic nun that your daughter could spend a Saturday with serving the poor? If not, make a new friend! Even if it’s not God’s will for them to become consecrated, at least they will witness your support of vocations and will come away with a respect and enthusiasm for consecrated life.

And they won’t grow up to be among the parents that St. Patrick describes!

A few months ago, I was humbled when my friend Bonny asked me to be her sponsor as she enters into full communion with the Catholic Church this Easter. I’ve had the joy of witnessing her faith, her enthusiasm, her curiosity, and her devotion to this new faith.  And this Sunday we both had the joy of celebrating the Archdiocese of Washington’s Rite of Election and Call to Continuing Conversion at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the RCIA process (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults), this is the step when each parish of the Archdiocese officially presents to Archbishop Donald Wuerl all those who wish to join the Church at Easter.

As each person’s name is called, they walk up the center aisle of the Basilica and into the sanctuary to gather before the Archbishop. When all the names have been called, the sanctuary is completely filled with men, women, old, young, every race, every language, every culture, from every parish in the Archdiocese. It’s a beautiful and powerful glimpse of the universal Church!

When all the people are gathered, the Archbishop asks the godparents and sponsors if the new converts have “listened to God’s word proclaimed by the Church” and have “responded to that word and begun to walk in God’s presence” to which we respond “They have!” Then the congregation shows its support in applause.

When we returned to our seats, I turned to Bonny and said “This is what we are part of!!” She gave me a huge smile, and a chill even went up my own spine!

If you ever have a chance to attend the Rite of Election and Call to Continuing Conversion, don’t pass it up! And please pray for all those who will be baptised and will enter into full communion with the Church this Easter!