Most of us experience from time to time that God seems distant. Here we do not consider the distance that may come from mortal sin, but simply that distance of which the psalmist says, Why do you hide your face O Lord? (e.g. Ps 44:24, inter al).
Recently I came across a dialogue from an unknown source wherein a monk speaks to a saintly and wise abbot about his struggle to experience God, about the fact that God seems distant:
Speaking to the Master, the Monk said, “So what does one do about the distance?”
“Understand that it isn’t there.” Said the Master.
“Does that mean that God and I are one?” Asked the puzzled Monk.
“Not one. Not two.” Said Father Abbot.
“How is that possible?” Replied the disciple.
And looking at him, the master replied:
“The sun and its light,
the ocean and the wave,
the singer and his song -
–not one….Not two.”
One of the great balances to find in theology is the balance between the transcendence of God and the immanence of God. For God is utterly above and beyond what he has created and this is His transcendence. And yet, at the same time He is profoundly, immediately and intimately present to all he has made. He is not just the author and foundation of all things, he is being itself, and nothing has being apart from him. And this we call his immanence.
And thus, when we speak of God being “distant” we can speak only in a metaphorical or psychological sense. But the fact is, God is NOT distant. He is more present to us than we are to ourselves. And thus, distance is a human problem, not a divine one.
True spirituality and true healing come from being increasingly in touch with reality. And the reality is that the distance we experience isn’t really there. The reality is that God is profoundly, absolutely, and powerfully present to all that has being. And if He ever were to become “distant,” that from which he became distant, would cease to be at all. God is being itself, and to have being is ipso facto to be profoundly present to God.
So when God “seems distant” realize that the distance isn’t really there. Stay in touch with reality and remember that every fiber of your being is present to God, held and sustained by Him and that your being is caught up in Him who is being itself.
Scripture says of Jesus He is before all things, and in him all things hold together (Col 1:17).
St Augustine also says, You (O Lord) were with me, but I was not with You. [Created] things kept me far from You, which, unless they were in You, were not. You called, and cried aloud, and forced open my deafness. You gleam and shine, and chase away my blindness. You exhaled fragrance, and I drew in my breath and do long after You. I tasted, and do hunger and thirst. You touched me, and I burned for Your peace. (Confessions, 10.27)
The distance isn’t there.
I can’t imagine the abandonment by God that Jesus as Man felt on the Cross. It’s too awful.
A very helpful thought that the perception of distance is our mistake, not His. as the psalmist has it, ‘Whither shall I go from thy presence?”
a real hard one to wrap one’s mind around. I would be careful with thoughts like “he is being itself, and nothing has being apart from him” and “God is being itself, and to have being is ipso facto to be profoundly present to God”. … getting perilously close to pantheism, because these ideas are close to saying we are part of God.
Being is an attribute that He has, and he can bring other things into existence outside himself. Sharing an attribute with him doesn’t mean we’re part of Him. fwiw.
Did you miss my remarks about transcendence?
“Now since God is very being by His own essence, created being must be His proper effect; as to ignite is the proper effect of fire. Now God causes this effect in things not only when they first begin to be, but as long as they are preserved in being; as light is caused in the air by the sun as long as the air remains illuminated. …Hence it must be that God is in all things, and innermostly.”–St. Thomas Aquinas, S. T. 1,1,8.
I doubt that the Angelic Doctor would have questioned any of the good Monsignor’s remarks.
Acquaintances of ours just lost their two-year-old child to a random infection that just came on out of nowhere. God is so distant to them that He is not there. If He is there, then He’s a cruel God. They go back and forth between hoping that there is a heaven, so they will see their child again, to not believing because if there is a God, He is a cruel God and they can’t believe in that. I have to say, out of all of our trials and tests in life, I think losing a child must be the absolute worst one.
Not sure what the point of this comment is, I guess to ask what you would say, as a priest, to a couple suffering like this to assure them that God is still there with them in their suffering.
The loss of a loved one can be quite sad. And this may not be the best time for them to hear theological explanations as to the meaning of suffering, the last things, etc. Rather, it is a time for consolation for them.
But as for us, we would all do well to consider and ponder those questions now, before such things might happen to us. Because, eventually, it will happen to us — death comes to us all.
So, this little child was not able to live a very long life here on earth.
If God does not exist, given the thinking that if a loving God would not allow such things to happen, how does that help the parents or the child?? How is that of any comfort? If there is no God, then their child is now nihilo — nothing. And the meaning of the child’s short life was likewise nothing. Indeed, worse than nothing, it was pointless suffering. So how are any of them better off if there is no God?
If He does exist, how does this little one having a short worldly life make Him cruel? How? How is it cruel for a child, or anyone, to now be in a place that is far better than this one? How is it cruel to give someone a far better, much more excellent, good?
God is cruel only if we begin with this false premise that life in this world is the be all and end all of existence. It isn’t. God is not cruel, what is cruel is that false idea that this life is the ultimate, such that to leave it would be to lose out on something. But as good as this life is, it is not the ultimate and be all and end all. Rather, it is temporary. This life is going to end for all of us, and it was always going to end, at some point, for all of the little children who die young. The real ultimate, the real existential destination is not this life, but the next life — the real life, rather than this pseudo-life that we have now, and it is that real life which is the far greater good. For God to provide us with that life is not cruelty, but love.
As attached as we are to worldly things, most especially our worldly lives, it is often hard to remember that, although we are in the world, we are not of the world. We are mere sojourners, passing through this world so that we might get to the next.
She didn’t write any treatises or books, but Sr. Marie-Bernard Soubirous (St. Bernadette) did write quite a few letters to people, and there is one that she wrote that struck me when I read it. She wrote it after hearing that her infant sister had died –
. . . My mother has been ill for quite some time. And as you know, Marie was supposed to be a godmother, but our good Lord arranged otherwise. We had a little girl, but we did not have long to enjoy her. The good Lord did not create her for this world. We hardly had time to baptize her when she flew to Heaven, poor little angel! As you can imagine, it was a hard blow for my poor mother, but she is doing a little better now. . . .
“The good Lord did not create her for this world.”
Tragedies such as the loss of a young child can be a mystery, a difficult mystery to have to endure. Often there is the impulse to cry out “Why??” But that is because we forget that none of us are made to live in this world forever. And perhaps it is the case with some of us that we are in this world only so that we might be able to live in the next, that is, that God does not create everyone for this world, but He creates them specifically for the next, such that life in this world need not be especially long.
In any event, it is that next life for which we are ultimately made that is the better life. It is a far, far better place than this. And it is the exact opposite of a cruel God to take any of us unto Himself.
________________
Now, the above really is more about whether it is cruel to the child. But is it cruel to the parents for a child to have such a short life?
Again, what is cruel is for someone to put in their minds the idea that this worldly existence is better than the next life in heaven. Yet still the sense of loss remains. But far from acting cruel in such a situation, God is the answer, He provides the comfort, He provides the hope and consolation.
Indeed, He is the only one who can really provide these things. In the crucified Jesus Christ, there is the fullness of compassion — God suffers with us. He takes our sufferings upon Himself, fully and completely, in the flesh. He knows the pain and anguish of loss the parents feel because He experiences it too. But because He does take that suffering upon Himself, it can be and is transformed. The transformative power of love, especially the power of Love, destroys suffering, just as it destroys death itself, but we need to allow it to happen. And that transformation is not always easy, it often may feel as if it is like going through fire, but if we cling to Him, it is transformed and salvation is won.
Thank you for typing out such a thoughtful response. I agree with what you wrote of course. And yes, it is good to think about these things before we are faced with them. As for this couple, words of consolation yes, but not much more to be said. I have never seen people so broken. Thanks again for writing.
Wow, your response was very good and I think helpful to all who have lost a child. I’ve suffered 5 pregnancy losses but only one was a stillbirth and I really was not bonded with the child (though it was painful at the time). Losing a toddler is far more heartbreaking because you’ve had time to bond with the child and love that child. Two years old is especially precious because at that age the child is giving so much love back to you–hugging her parents, talking to them, saying she loves them, playing with them–so I can certainly feel the pain of loss for the parents! I hope Ann can use your words here in some way–perhaps put them in a gift card to the parents who are suffering. Have a Mass said for the entire family and look for a good Catholic book on this subject. I know there is a Catholic hospice nurse who wrote several books on her experiences working with those who were dying (including children). It is called Glimpses of Heaven by Trudy Harris. Look for her book and perhaps give to them as a gift. The stories of those who died and her remembrance of them may help the parents deal with their loss. I also think time heals—their pain will never fully go away–but if they are able to have another baby in the future, it will help a lot. It did for me in my own pregnancy losses. After I was finally able to have a successful pregnancy, all my pain of loss almost vanished because I focused on the living babies. This reminds me of the pain of the Chinese mothers who have been forced by one-child policy to undergo forced abortions by the government (or sometimes the officials would literally take their baby away after they gave birth). These women are often sterilized and/or forbidden to have any more children. The pain of their loss will never find comfort because they will not be able to have another baby.
Thank you Msgr. for this post which reminds us to be confident in God’s presence and eternal closeness in all things and at all times. When I was about 6 years of age my father told me something similar. He told me that God constantly has us on his mind and if he ever stopped thinking of us or if he would ever distance himself from us, we would instantly go out of existance. This notion made a strong impression on my mind. Before my recent operation I composed a small prayer to remind myself about God’s constant love and closeness:
MAY I NEVER FORGET
Thank you Lord for your presence by my side as
I am going through the healing process.
Without You Lord there is fear,
Without You Lord there is worry,
Without You Lord there is despair,
Without You Lord I am nothing.
All good things come by You.
My healing is Your Love.
May I never forget how much You love me.
Blessed are you Lord Jesus-Christ!
“So when God “seems distant” realize that the distance isn’t really there.”
That is a great point to remember in times of trouble. I believe that “distance” is the clouding affect of stress, worry, and doubt. It is during those times that we should remember to stop and recenter ourselves on God.
God is the wind and I am the sail He surrounds, lifts, fills, drives, and empties. He is the reason for, energizer of, and object of my being. Without Him, I have no purpose and “make no sense.”
Msgr., this is one of my favorites of yours recently, having just experienced a very strong feeling of “distance” from God myself. Thank you!
I would also add that anyone who experiences such distance regularly, may find great help in St. Ignatius’ teachings on spiritual desolation. In particular, his emphasis on using the times of desolation to deepen our faith and actually increase our spiritual practice, and during times of consolation to cultivate humility and prepare for the next period of trial and longanimity.
God is within us.
First; thanks for the beginning comment from Nick. Very inspiring.
Second; on the child who die young. The parents are having a difficult time and I can’t see how intruding on their grief would accomplish anything worthwhile but, as Bender’s reply points out; we are not them. In the visions of Fatima the three children asked Mary to take them to heaven with her and she promised to take Bl. Francisco Marto and Bl. Jacinta Marto but, stated that Lucia had to stay on Earth for a while. When the two did die shortly after I can well imagine that Mother Mary’s promise was a great comfort to the parents.
I don’t think for a moment that God or any of His servants killed the two of Fatima, or any other child. Rather I believe that it was their time and that all young children are very welcome in heaven.
However, on the main point of the post. When God seems distant, as He becomes less apparent to our five physical senses, we are challenged to develop a true and worthy understanding of the intangeable. Not that I claim to know that this is His objective for to understand the divine is beyond me.
For instance; in Deuteronomy 31:17-20 God declares that He will hide His face. Anger is indicated here and it would certainly be tempting to try to understand that anger in the context of human anger but; who among us could hope to understand Divine Passion and how it interacts with God’s decisions?
Later, Isaiah 54:8 there is mention of God hiding His face for a moment but His moment is how long to us? In Psalm 90:4 there’s a statement about that.
There’s a search for the “Higgs Boson” in an artificial cavern under French/Swiss mountains in hope that it will be a “God particle” that is expected to help us with such things as maybe a quantum leap.
Great excitement and debate about a newly discovered particle – is it the Higgs Boson or an incredibly similar something else? If it’s a cunning deceit, who’s cunning about deceit?
In reading of research of stigmata there’s descriptions of those who experience appearing serene and telling of a serene feeling but tests indicate an extreme ecstasy. Whose ecstasy? The subject person’s ecstasy or a Visitor? Is He revealing Himself in an intangeable way? I don’t know but, searching for and trying to manufacture a particle of God in a hole in the ground with human made artifices? What’s with that?
Again searching with the five senses and equipment designed to serve the five senses instead of allowing them to be magnified by what’s holy.
People who have observed seeming upset. Being knocked out of their comfort zone maybe.