Noah at 900 – A Humorous Aside

Every now and then a little humor does us some good. Over at Creative Minority Report is an intentionally silly post about the remarkable ages of the Patriarchs who lived before the great flood.  Adam, Noah, Enoch and others lived 800-900 years! How to understand these references?? Personally I think we need to take them at face value and just accept a mystery, that the ancient patriarchs lived a great number of years, far more than our modern experience. Attempts to render the 900 years as months or divide by 10 etc. yield absurd results such as the Patriarchs having children when they 2 years old etc. So just take it for what its worth, they lived a lot longer than we do and, as sin multiplied,  our years grew shorter. Moses and Joshua made it to 120 but by King David our years were 70, or 80 for those who were strong.

BUT, this is all so serious! Click on the link below to enjoy a humorous back and forth in the article, and especially in the comments: CREATIVE MINORITY REPORT – THE AGE OF THE PATRIARCHS

I entered my own comments explaining the Age of the Patriarchs. Here are my entries:  (Now don’t take this seriously folks, IT IS A JOKE!, in other words, I’M JUST KIDDING)

Explanation  1 The Bible clearly says we were visited by aliens who were also giants. This race of Giants is referenced in the book of Genesis. Now these giants had very large spaceships circling the planet. The combined gravometric effect of these giant spaceships actually slowed time down here on earth and thus we had 900 year life spans.

Explanation 2 – Another explanation is this: A guy goes to the dcotor and says, “Doc, I’ve gven up smoking, drinking, fattening foods and all sodium in my diet. Will I live longer?” And the Doctor says, “No, it will only seem that way.” Thus what he have in the Bible is the cummulative experience of a very long life, but it only seemed long to them because they did not have liquor, fattening foods, cigarettes, and high sodium diets. Hence the 900 year life span only seemed like 900 years, it was actually nine months.


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