Marriage Can Wait??

Young boy proposing a woman at the parkOK guys, time to man up and ask her out on a date! Too many of you men are slow in looking for a bride. When I was ordained twenty years ago I had a lot of marriages. Today there are far fewer, and those that marry are much older. Perhaps maturity is a good thing PRIOR to marriage but couples are really waiting a long time these days. Now I was not born yesterday and I know that part of the reason for the delay is that couples are often fornicating and are just plain shacked up as well. True marriage is delayed as false notions of sexuality and marriage are indulged.

But there is also another phenomenon that is harder to understand. I have quite a number of young women, who are very attractive I might add, tell me that they are seldom asked out on dates, that young men don’t seem very good at taking initiative when it comes to dating and marriage. Now come on guys, be a man and get out there and ask her out!

I remember back in high school and college when I was a dating man, prior to discovering my call to be a priest, I remember that there were risks that you took when you asked a girl out. She might say no. She might even laugh. I might feel humiliated or depressed. Well? Welcome to life! Some of the more embarrassing moments of my life are related to the dating game. So I understand guys. But do what I did: get out there anyway! Take the risk, ask her out! Forget about your fragile little ego, be man and make the ask. You might be surprised. Many attractive young ladies are just waiting for some one man enough to ask them out on a serious date. I’m not talking about some vague thing like, “Maybe I’ll see you at the social tomorrow.” Ask her out on a real date. Just you and her.  Spend  a little money on her and dress well for the occasion.

It is odd that today with so many ways to communicate, it seems harder than ever for men and women to meet. Though our ways of communicating are more than ever, real and actual communication seems hard to come by. The simple fact is that we need to work on this, actually get out there and meet, communicate, date and marry.  Interestingly enough, a number of the recent marriages I have celebrated began on the internet, at a Catholic dating service. It’s not all that bad. Individuals signal their intention and wish to meet members of the opposite sex, share a significant amount of their values and expectations, and then meet to begin the process discernment. The Catholic faith is the starting point.

There is a lot of focus today on the issue of vocations to the priesthood and religious life, a good thing. But we need to wake up to the fact that marriage is on hard times. The statistics are sobering. In 1974 there were 46 Million Catholics in the USA and 400,000 marriages. In 2004 there were 70 million Catholics and only 200,000 marriages. Most priests know this personally. We just do a lot less marriages today. Further, the birthrate has dropped significantly for Catholics. One explanation: we are aborting and contracepting ourselves out of existence (the future world will feature a lot of Muslims and far fewer Catholics). But  another explanation is that marriage rates are dropping and many delay marriage far into the years when fertility is diminished and limited.

There is also a lot of talk about evangelization so let me recommend a fundamental pillar to the Church’s Evangelization Plan: Let’s have a lot of young Catholics get married FIRST, have lots of babies and raise them Catholic. 🙂

Alright young men, get out there on the field, MAN-UP and ask her for a date!  Young men and women, get serious about marriage. It is a holy institution established by God himself. It will make you holy, enrich the Church and ensure that we have a future. Are you up to it? We’re depending on you. Young men, don’t make the ladies wait and DON’T make me come out there and force you!

Here’s a fun video about the “Adventures” of Internet dating entitled “WEB SITE STORY”

The Face of Christ

In a world filled with images and voices that are contrary to Christ we should heed well the message of this video that we keep our eyes fixed on the face of Christ. There are some today who masquerade as Christ. Perhaps they proclaim part of his message, but they ignore the rest. Heresy involves emphasizing one truth to the exclusion of all others. And so we must look to the face of Christ, the true Christ revealed by the Scriptures and the Tradition of the Church.

A final thought: if you do not know my face then you might confuse anyone as me. If you know me only vaguely, you may have some parameters but still may mistake others for me. If you you know me well, it will be hard to mistake anyone for me. Hence we must strive to know Christ well, to know his face. Then we can distinguish him from others. Seek and know the face of Christ!

The Latest Song from Justin Stroh
The Lyrics are posted in the COMMENTS section of this post.

Musical Highlights

I have to admit, I have not often been a big fan of modern Church music. I am more traditional in my tastes. (A big exception to this has been Gospel Music which I  love and which is in its own way is traditional – in the African American Community).  But other more contemporary Christian music has often remained off my radar. I find it a little too centered on us and not enough on God. Yet in recent months, mostly working for this blog I have stumbled upon certain modern Christian music that I find quite good. It is musically more pleasing as well as being more centered on God, or at least inviting us to consider God. I’d like to offer some of those songs here. I have posted some of the best of these songs and the videos that accompany them before but collect them here for your reference. All of these songs are available at iTunes. You may not have time listen to them all now, but perhaps save the link and listen little by little.

Jesus Christ, You Are My Life – Monseñor Marco Frisina

Still – Hillsong

Take My Life – Passion

Let The Healing Begin – Michael John Poirier

Take Me In – Kutless

As The Deer – America’s Top 25

Lord I Lift Your Name On High – Maranatha Singers

Come to Jesus – Chris Rice

Grounded in Love – Justin Stroh

Beauty in Service of Goodness and Truth

There is a long noted connection between what is good, what is true and what is beautiful. Catholicism seeks to employ beauty in the service of what is good and true. Most Catholic Churches, especially the older ones, make great use of art, stained glass, and architecture to summon Catholics to faith. Further, our sacraments engage the senses and involve the body. We are touched in the sacraments physically and also therefore spiritually. Beyond the sacraments themselves there are the ways in which the liturgy itself engages the senses. There are candles, incense, music, and flowers. Even the many postures of prayer engage the body: sitting, standing, kneeling, sings of the cross, holy water, processions etc. Catholicism seeks to engage the whole person. We are not just a spirit or a soul, we are body-persons. Catholicism takes this very seriously. In summoning the human person to what is good, true and beautiful, Catholicism summons the whole person and employs much of God’s creation to announce the good news. This video displays the beauty of Catholic tradition and how it is a kind of feast for the whole person. The images emphasize the ancient traditions of the Church

Vocations: More on Monastic Life

Mount Angel Abbey is a community of Benedictine Monks founded in 1882 from the Abbey of Engelberg in Switzerland. They maintain a monastic tradition that has been a vital part of the Roman Catholic Church for more than 1500 years. “Responding to God’s call to holiness and preferring nothing whatever to Christ,”  they dedicate themselves, under a Rule and an abbot to a life of prayer and work. They strive to support one another in community, to serve God, the Church, and the larger society. They do this as they celebrate the Holy Eucharist together, pray the Liturgy of the Hours five times daily in choir, and devote themselves to reading and silence.This video shows forth monastic life at Mount Angel Abbey, a Benedictine Abbey in Oregon.


A Portrait of Catholic Schools

Catholic Schools today are very special places where the faith is handed on and children are summoned to discover their talents and gifts. There is a kind of rhythm of life that marks the Catholic School year, centered around the Liturgical year and also the many routines that are essential to school days. It’s not just the books and learning, it’s the visit of the priests, it’s trips. It is the tag days (uniform free), it’s recess, it’s going to mass, stations of the cross and the rosary. It’s school plays and dressing up as saints. Ultimately it’s about the formation of the young person in the ways of faith, parish and family.

Pray for Catholic schools, they are special places that are threatened today by market forces of rising costs and declining affordability. If you’re an alumnus support your Catholic School Alma Mater, if you’re a parishioner pray and work for you local Catholic School. They are worth supporting and preserving and our help is needed as never before.

This video is entitled “Mr R’s Class” and depicts Catholic School life well.