Your life is not about you.

I was meditating on John 11, for personal Bible Study earlier today. It is the story of the raising of Lazarus. And I was struck by the following lines:

[Martha and Mary] sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.” When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Therefore, when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days…..[Later. Jesus] told [his disciples] plainly, “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

One of the harder truths of life is that our life is not about us. Neither are we the most important thing or person in the world. Rather we exist in and for the glory of God and our ultimate glory in to be caught up in and be part of God’s glory and his Kingdom. Further, we also exist, not only for our own sake but also for the sake of others.

And we see some of this in this story of Lazarus. Jesus speaks of Lazarus’ grave illness as “for the glory of God.” He further indicates that it is also so that He (Jesus) may be glorified. Further, Lazarus’ illness is also for others, that they may come to believe.

And even more stunning than his words are the actions of Jesus, who, hearing of the grave condition of Lazarus, delays his departure to see him for two whole days. His delay means that Lazarus dies! Jesus then says to his disciples that he is “glad for their sakes that he was not there (for Lazarus)!

Now, few of us can failed to be shocked by some or all of this. But our shock is largely based on a premise that this story should be largely about Lazarus and his physical condition. But, it is not, in the first place about Lazarus or about his health. It is about Jesus, it is about God’s glory, and it is about our faith in God.

Jesus’ first concern is not about Lazarus’ physical life, his condition, or about the distress of Mary and Martha who see their brother sick and then die. His first concern is for the faith of all involved and he is willing to allow a crisis to unfold in order to finally strengthen the faith of the many, even if this means the distress of the few.

Your life is not about you. We are each part of a bigger picture, a picture that God sees far better than we. This concept shocks us, I suspect for at least two reasons:

First, we live in an age that strongly emphasizes the dignity, rights and importance of the individual. Of itself this is not bad and is one of the things that distinguishes our age and its concern for human rights. However, the importance and needs of the individual must be balanced against the common good, and the needs of other individuals and groups. It must also be seen in the light of God’s glory, God’s plan and the mysterious interplay of the individual, others and God. God alone knows all this and what is best for all involved, not just me.

Second, we live in an age that strongly emphasizes physical health and comfort, as well as emotional happiness. While these things are truly good, there are greater good. And the greatest good is our spiritual well being, our faith and holiness. God is far more concerned with our eternal destiny that our present comfort. Jesus says for example, it is better to cut off a hand, a foot or pluck out our eye than to sin seriously. And while he may be using hyperbole, the teaching remains that it a more serious thing to sin seriously than to loose even very precious parts of our body. We don’t think this way. We tend to value our bodies and physical well-being more than spiritual matters. Not so with God.

Hence we see that Jesus is willing to rank faith and spiritual well-being above physical and emotional comfort. He is also willing to act for the good of many, even if that means some difficulty for the few or the one. This many rankle our “self-esteem culture,” but, to some extent we are a little to “precious” these days, and it is good to be reminded we are not the only one who is important, and that we don’t exist only for our own sake, but also for others and for the glory of God.

Another example of this whole principle is the surprising and “inconclusive” ending of the Acts of the Apostles.

Fully the last two-thirds of Acts is focused on the Evangelical Mission of St. Paul as he made four journeys into Asia Minor and then into Greece. The final chapters of Acts deal with Paul’s arrest, imprisonment and appearance before Roman officials such as Felix and Festus, as well as Herod Agrippa in Jerusalem and Caesarea.

Paul appeals his case to Rome and is sent there on ill fated journey that shipwrecks at Malta. Finally making it to Rome, Paul is imprisoned and awaits the trial that will either vindicate him or seal his fate. The story seems to be building to a climactic conclusion and we, the readers, are ready to see Paul through his final trial. But then something astonishing happens: the story just ends. Here is the concluding line of the Acts of the Apostles:

[Paul] remained for two full years in his lodgings. He received all who came to him, and with complete assurance and without hindrance he proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ. (Acts 28:30-31)

But Luke! Don’t just leave us hanging! Did Paul go on trial? We he acquitted as some traditions assert and then made his way to Spain as he wanted? Or did he loose his appeal and suffer beheading right away? What was the outcome? We have seen Paul so far and now the story just ends?!

How can we answer this exasperating and unsatisfying end?

The simplest answer is that the Acts of the Apostles is not about Paul. It is about the going forth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations. Luke has, to be sure, personified this going forth of the Gospel to the nations by focusing on Paul. And once Paul reaches Rome and, though under house arrest, is able to freely preach the Gospel there (for there is chaining the Word of God (2 Tim 2:9)), the story reaches its natural conclusion. From Rome the Gospel will go forth to every part of the Empire, for every road led to Rome and away from it. Now that the Gospel has reached the center hub and is being freely preached, it will radiate outward in all directions by the grace of God.

It never WAS about Paul. It was about the Gospel. Paul himself testified to this when he said, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. (Acts 20:24)

We are often focused on personalities and frequently we loose track about what is most important. And, frankly the personality we are most focused on is very often ourselves. Acts never really was about Paul. And your life is not about you. It is about what the Lord is doing for you and through you. We often want things to revolve around us, around what we think, and what we want. But, truth be told, you are not that important, neither am I. We must decrease and the Lord must increase (Jn 3:30).

Here’s the classic song about modern vanity couched in very tricky logic.

Reverence or Ruin: How the Fourth Commandment is Necessary for Civilization

Fix it or Forget it – It cannot be underestimated how important the family is for the very existence of society and civilization. The widespread breakdown of the family in our own time already shows the grave results that flow from such a breakdown. Can our civilization be secure or stable if such a breakdown is allowed to continue? The importance of the family for the life and well-being of society entails a particular responsibility for society to support and strengthen marriage and the family. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Civil authority should consider it a grave duty to acknowledge the true nature of marriage and the family, to protect and foster them, to safeguard public morality, and promote domestic prosperity. (Catechism 2207, 2210)

The Fourth Commandment is Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you. (Ex 20:12)

Lack of Respect – One of the Key maladies of our day is a lack of respect of the young toward their elders. I remember when I was young that my Father would not allow us to watch the Flintstones. He banned it because he said that it made adults look stupid (it did) and that viewing it would not help us children to respect our elders. Children today of course are expose to much worse. A regular theme of sitcoms is that children run the show and parents and adults are all a bunch of idiots. Music from the 1960s on has produced a steady diet of anti-authoritarian themes which question and undermine the wisdom of elders and the past. Many children today are bold toward their parents, teachers and other elders. They often act as though they were speaking to a peer or an equal. Much of this comes from a culture that has largely jettisoned the insights of the 4th Commandment.

Reverence or Ruin: One of the most essential fruits of the fourth commandment is to instill respect. Respect is essential for there to be teaching. For if a child does not respect his elders, how can he learn from them? If he cannot respect, he cannot learn. And if he cannot learn then the wisdom of the past including the faith, cannot be communicated to him. And if the these cannot be communicated to him, he is doomed to error-ridden and misguided life fraught with foolish decisions. When this happens broadly in a society to children in general, (as it has in ours), civilization itself is threatened as whole generations loose the wisdom of the past and are condemned to repeat major errors and take up behaviors long ago abandoned as unwise and destructive. Without heartfelt reverence being instilled we are doomed to continue seeing an erosion in the good order and the collected wisdom necessary to sustain any civilization.

But reverence must be instilled. It must be insisted upon and their should be consequences for rejecting its demands. Too many parents today do not command respect. They speak of wanting their children to be their friends. But children have plenty of friends. What they need are parents, parents who are strong and secure, firm in their guidance, loving and consistent in their discipline, and not easily swayed by the unreasonable protests of children. No one will follow and uncertain trumpet and children need firm, clear and certain direction. If we want children to rediscover respect for their elders then we must insist upon it and command it of them.

What are some of the implications of the 4th commandment? The Catechism is actually quite thorough in describing them in Paragraph #s 2214-2220:

The Origin of respect – Respect for parents derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love, and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?” (Sirach 7:27-28)

Obedience – Respect is shown by true docility and obedience. “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching” (Proverbs 6:20)… As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”(Col. 3:20) Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them.

Honor and care in old age – The fourth commandment also reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. “Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother.”(Sir. 3:2-6).

Wider family implications – The fourth commandment also promotes harmony in all of family life; it thus concerns relationships between brothers and sisters. Finally, a special gratitude is due to those from whom they have received the gift of faith, the grace of Baptism, and life in the Church. These may include parents, grandparents, other members of the family, pastors, catechists, and other teachers or friends.

Societal ImplicationsThe fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. [But] It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it. (Catechism # 2199)

Another important key in instilling respect is for those in authority to be “respectable.” Parents and all those in authority have obligations and duties that flow from their status. To overlook or ignore these obligations places significant burdens upon children, subordinates, and others. This in turn can lead to bewilderment and contributes to an undermining of the respect and honor which ought ordinarily be paid parents, elders and those in authority. Thus, while parents and lawful authorities ought to be respected it is also true to say that they must conduct themselves in a manner that is respectable and observe their duties with care. What are some of these duties? The Catechism of the Catholic Church gives a fine summary of them and the text is largely reproduced here.

The duties of parents – Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God’s law…They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service…self-denial, sound judgment, and self- mastery are learned…Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them…Parents should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which threaten human societies…parents receive the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the “first heralds” for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church…Parents’ respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom. As far as possible parents have the duty of choosing schools that will best help them in their task as Christian educators. (Catechism 2221-2231).

The 4th Commandment gives clear guidance and warns, it is either reverence or there will be ruin.

Here’s a quirky little video from 1950. It’s rather hokey to modern cynics, yet it’s a neat glimpse from the past, idealized to be sure, but the basic message is great.

On the Church as a Sign of Contradiction

It is often demanded of the Church today (both by non-Catholics and Catholics) that she ought to strive to fit in more, be kinder and gentler than in the past, and that her essential mission is to affirm and make sure we feel good about ourselves.

Perhaps, it is suggested if she is more appealing and less “alienating” then her membership will increase. And when the Church solemnly and unequivocally speaks on moral questions she is often criticized for being too harsh, judgmental and intolerant, or out of touch with modern realities.

In recent discussions on this very blog many critics of the Church’s position on same-sex marriage have accused her of being “on the wrong side of history.”

But is this really the role of the Church? Is it really her role to be with the times? Surely not, since she is the Bride of Christ and also Body of Christ (for in this holy Marriage she and her spouse are one). And of this Church, as the Body of Christ there is a teaching when Simeon held the small and infant Body of Christ, he turns to Mary and says:

Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce)so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed. (Lk 2:34)

Simeon looked to Jesus and saw that he would be a sign of contradiction to many. Jesus would not be the affirmer in chief but rather, as one who spoke the truth and feared no man, he would stand out clearly and announce the truth without compromise. He would be a sign of contradiction to the world and its ways. Some would love him and many would hate him, but no one could remain neutral. He would make us choose, tertium non datur (no third way is given).

And to the Church Christ said two very important things:

  1. If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. (John 15:18-21)
  2. Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.(Luke 6:26)

So, that world hates us is not necessarily due to the fact that we have done anything wrong. It is often a sign that we have done something precisely right for it is often our lot, as the Body of Christ, to be a “sign of contradiction.” That is to say that we must announce the Gospel to a world that is often and in increasing measure, stridently opposed to it. St. Paul admonished Timothy to preach the Gospel, whether in season or out of season (2 Tim 4:2). Increasingly now it is out of season and the world hates us for what we say. But we can do no other, for if we are faithful, we must speak.

Pope Paul VI said it so well in the very in the “out of season” encyclical Huamane Vitae:

It is to be anticipated that perhaps not everyone will easily accept this particular teaching. There is too much clamorous outcry against the voice of the Church, and this is intensified by modern means of communication. But it comes as no surprise to the Church that she, no less than her divine Founder, is destined to be a “sign of contradiction.” She does not, because of this, evade the duty imposed on her of proclaiming humbly but firmly the entire moral law, both natural and evangelical. Since the Church did not make either of these laws, she cannot be their arbiter—only their guardian and interpreter. It could never be right for her to declare lawful what is in fact unlawful, since that, by its very nature, is always opposed to the true good of man. (H.V. # 18)

We in the Church must courageously accept our lot. Simeon spoke of it clearly in the beginning as he held the infant Christ (and thus the infant Church). And then, looking at Mary, who also represents the Church as mother and bride, he says. “A sword will pierce your heart too!”

So the Church as Body of Christ and the Church as Bride and Mother cannot evade the fact that we will often be called to be a sign of contradiction. And people don’t like to be contradicted. Thus the faithful in the Church will often be required to suffer for our proclamation. The world will try and shame us, try to cause us to experience guilt through indignant outcries and labels such as: Rigid, backward, conservative, right wing, left-wing, fundamentalist, homophobic, judgmental, intolerant, harsh, mean-spirited, hateful and so on.

But do not be amazed and do not buy into the false guilt. Simply pray and accept the fact that the Church is a sign of contradiction and we must continue to address ourselves to the conscience of a world that seems bent on going morally insane. To this world our announcement of the Truth of Gospel must be courageous, clear, consistent, constant and quite often a sign of contradiction. This is our lot, we can do no other, we can be no other.

And since truth and beauty are connected, here is some of the beauty of the Church and faith:

On the Coarseness of our Culture and what we have lost, as illustrated in a commerical

The video at the bottom of this post is a commercial that caught my attention the other day as emblematic of how coarse our culture has widely become.  And, as I watched it I thought “We have lost a lot in the recent cultural revolution.”

I suppose I shouldn’t expect a lot from a commercial for hard liquor (Skinny Girl cocktails). I have nothing against such products intrinsically, and even enjoy a usual nightcap of a shot of Bourbon (just one) mixed in a diet cola. But honestly, alcohol, by definition, doesn’t usually promote sober reflection and, if anything, it encourages stinkin’ thinkin.’ And frankly there’s a lot of “stinkin thinkin” in this commercial.

In the first place it ridicules the culture of the 1950s and early 1960s. The woman who exemplifies that era in the commercial is shown as stuffy, pretentious and extreme. She is finely attired in a pleated skirt, heals and a pearl necklace. But her “big hair” and poorly layered clothing seem intended to make her look “frumpy” and frankly, a big fake. Her unnaturally sultry voice also ads to the impression that the 1950s were “fake and stupid.”

Disclaimer – There is no claim here that the 1950s were some sort of idyllic period. Surely like any era there were problems and troubles. I am also under no illusions that all housewives strolled about like June Cleaver in heals and pearls, with a skirt perfectly fitted to their hourglass figures.

But as the commercial rolls on, I think we see that we have lost a lot. The picture flashes away from the elegantly dressed woman, careful for modesty and dignity (though excessively portrayed), to the modern scene where we are suppose to rejoice and approve at how far women have come.

And what do we see? Half drunk women, with painted nails and flip flops, liquor bottles in abundance, and the indelicate and boorish behavior of those who have been drinking too much. Further there are numerous displays of immodest dress, immodest posture and unbecoming behaviors. In effect, if you ask me, it is a celebration of all in our culture that is boorish, immodest, indelicate, and excessively informal.

To the ad to its credit, does not show these women exhibiting these behaviors before men. But the overall effect remains the same, a “celebration” of how far we’ve come from the uptight 1950s. Yes, look how far: crass, boorish, indelicate, inelegant, lowbrow, rough, rude, uncouth, unrefined, and largely vulgar behaviors, a mighty long way from what we once knew. As if to say, “Take that 1950s with all your formalism and restrictions…take that traditional values…We’ve come of age!”

Now of course folks in the fifties knew how to have fun and relax, it just doesn’t seem they had to be so boorish, under-dressed and uncontrolled to do it.

I did not grow up in the 1950s but did have a substantial period of my early years in the early to mid-sixties, before the revolution really set in. And again, we knew how to have fun, and even dress down occasionally. But as a general rule we were expected in those years to observe higher norms, to have manners, to dress up to go to restaurants, to Church, and to behave in certain ways in “polite company.” As a you young man I would never think to go to Church without trousers and a button down shirt with a tie. I had special clothes for Sunday. We might rough-house in the back yard in shorts and a tee-shirt, along with sneakers. But when we went into town, we “put on decent clothes.” This was true even when going to the grocery store (see photo upper right).

When company was coming we were expected to dress for the occasion. Table manners were important, and a young man was expected to treat a lady like a lady. Language which might not always be perfect around “the guys” had to be cleaned up when a lady or girl was in the room. Further, our posture and behavior were to be adjusted in the presence of a lady, and also when adults were in the vicinity. Respect and decorum were important ways of showing honor to others.

These days, much of this has been lost. We almost never dress up any more in our culture. Perhaps the closest we get is work. Beach attire seems more the norm in places where such attire would have been unthinkable in the past, places like Church, restaurants, movies, and other public gatherings. Manners are usually considered pretentious, as the commercial below mocks them. People laugh and look incredulous when someone suggests any sorts of limits to informality in most occasions: “What do you mean I should wear a shirt with a collar, what business is that of yours?”

I am under no illusions that we are going to make a sudden return to the more formal (and I would say polite) world I knew briefly in my youth, but the main point is simply that I think we have lost something. If, perhaps we were too formal and stuffy in the past, I think we have over-corrected. If perhaps, in the past we were somewhat phony, it does not follow that full disclosure and sociopathic, no-limits “honesty” is good either. Maybe in hot weather it is nice to wear cooler clothes, but it is interesting to me that in the years when air-conditioning was almost unknown, we managed to wear a lot more clothes to cover our nakedness. Somehow, despite the heat, we thought decency and modesty mattered.

I don’t know, look at the Commercial and tell me. Have we lost something? It is not necessary to use all or nothing logic, as if the 50s and early 60s were all good, and we are all bad. Perhaps there’s room though for a discussion in the middle ground where we may have simply gone too far, lost too much, and need to take a few steps back from the edge of an increasingly coarse culture; perhaps not back into poodle skirts and pleated trousers, but at least back to some sense that manners, modesty and more careful behavior have a place.

“Enjoy” this commercial and tell me what you think.

How Scripture is a Prophetic Interpretation of Reality and tells us what’s REALLY going on

When looking to Scripture it is clear that many historical events are being recounted. And while parts of the Scripture recount that history in the “strict” and modern sense of history,  yet,  many different genres are also used: poem, drama, moral tale, epic saga, wisdom saying, parable, apocalyptic, gospel, and so forth.

But all the Scripture amounts to a kind of sacred history where God, through his prophets, and apostles, his sages and scribes, gives us a prophetic interpretation of reality. As if to say, “What ever you think is going on, this is what is REALLY going on.”

In Scripture, God the Holy Spirit, does not just tell us what happens, but interprets its meaning. Events are not simply locked in ancient history but speak to us today. These are not just stories about what they (the people of old) did, they are stories about what us and what WE do, and what it means. I am Peter, Moses, Elijah, Mary, the Woman at the Well, and so forth. We are the ancient Israelites and their story is our story.

As such, Scripture prophetically interprets reality for us. It explains what is really going on, as God sees it, and as God gives it to his sacred authors to set forth. For us who believe that God the Holy Spirit is the Supplier of this perspective, it makes Scripture an invaluable source as a prophetic interpretation of reality.

With this brief (and perhaps inadequate) background in mind, it may be of some value to look at a passage from the Book of Judges that we are reading in the Office of Readings. And as we look at we ought to ask, “How is this a prophetic interpretation of reality? What does it have to say to us of the reality in which we are currently living? How does a passage like this explain to us what is really happening in our times?

The passage is at the beginning of the Book of Judges (2:6-3:4) and serves as a bridge text between the Book of Joshua, and the time of the Judges which followed. Lets read it and see how it prophetically interprets reality for our times. (My Comments are in red):

When Joshua dismissed the people, each Israelite went to take possession of his own hereditary land. The people served the Lord during the entire lifetime of Joshua, and of those elders who outlived Joshua and who had seen all the great work which the Lord had done for Israel.

Joshua, son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, was a hundred and ten years old when he died; and they buried him within the borders of his heritage at Timnath-heres in the mountain region of Ephraim north of Mount Gaash.

It was Joshua who had warned the people to put away strange gods from among them and wholly serve the Lord God and carefully keep his precepts. If not disaster would befall them.

And here is the first interpretative key to reality for us in this passage: that we were made to know God, to serve Him and love Him. And in so doing, and seeking to base our life on his instructive and saving precepts, we will see long life, and as many blessings as this exile can provide. But if we do not follow that for which were made, burdens will multiply, blessings diminish and disaster will follow.

But once the rest of that generation were gathered to their fathers, and a later generation arose that did not know the Lord, or what he had done for Israel,  the Israelites offended the Lord by serving the Baals. Abandoning the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had led them out of the land of Egypt, they followed the other gods of the various nations around them, and by their worship of these gods provoked the Lord.

Note the beginnings of the problem: a generation arose that did not “know the Lord.” In the Scripture, “know” almost never means a merely intellectual knowing, but, rather, an experiential knowing. Thus, troubles begin when the next generation turns away from the primary reason for which they were made: “to know the Lord.” That is, to be deeply rooted in the experience of God in their lives; to keep an open door in their hearts for God; to seek His face, as their hearts admonish (1 Chron 16:11; Psalm 105:4) and to strive to know his ways.

This is our glory and our calling. And trouble begins when we turn from this to other and lesser “gods.”For  ancient Israel, the lesser gods were the “Baals.” For us, the lesser gods are the things, people and thoughts of this world.

Some turn from God to idolize money, or things, or popular “idols” in the latest celebs or gurus. Some idolize the latest “movements” of the world. Some idolize “scientism,” the error that subordinates everything to the judgment of the merely physical sciences. Others embrace materialism, the error that says only physical matter is real. Yet others embrace pseudo-Christian heresies and syncretist versions of faith. Still others cling to agnosticism and atheism in a sinful way, never seeking to overcome their doubts or difficulties.

In all these ways there is a turn from what, and Who we were truly made for: God, and his truth. Many today will turn to anything and anyone but the one true God, and they dispense with the One of whom their heart says “Seek the face of the Lord.”

Note the second problem, they did recall “what God had done for Israel.” For God had delivered them, fed them, given his law, led them, and set them in a good land.

Yet so easily and quickly we forget the blessings that God has given. One day the Lord asked the disciples, “Do you realize what I have done for you?” (Jn 13:12) So easily we forget that we have been delivered from the futile ways our fathers handed on to us (cf 1 Peter 1:18),  and forget that we have been given lives filled with hope at the glory that lies ahead. So easily we walk from the God who has given us every good thing, and who even makes the difficult things work ultimately for our good (Rom 8:28).

Yet, forgetful, and thus ungrateful, we grow sour, demanding and grasping. Lacking gratitude we become fearful, we hoard, we buy things we cannot afford, we become greedy, and are afraid to help the poor. Being more rooted in the world, we become enslaved to it, and give it our loyalty. We turn from God and even become hostile to his reminder that we were not made for the world.

And herein lies the second interpretive key to reality for us: that Gratitude, the disciplining of our minds to count our blessings and daily recall the enormous and immense blessings of God, is essential to our well-being and freedom. Forgetting to root our praises and gratitude in God we become enslaved to the world and mistake its passing blessings, as the true meaning of our lives.

And the cruel “Baal” of this world feeds us just enough to keep us alive, but still hungry and increasingly enslaved; so enslaved that we are literally willing to sacrifice our children, our families and our very lives on the altar of this cruel “Baal.”

Among the central ways that God will save us from the cruel enslaving world is gratitude. It is no accident that the central act of Catholic worship is called the “Eucharist” (the great Thanksgiving).

Because they had thus abandoned him and served Baal and the Ashtaroth, the anger of the Lord flared up against Israel, and he delivered them over to plunderers who despoiled them. He allowed them to fall into the power of their enemies round about whom they were no longer able to withstand. Whatever they undertook, the Lord turned into disaster for them, as in his warning he had sworn he would do, till they were in great distress.

Even when the Lord raised up judges to deliver them from the power of their despoilers, they did not listen to their judges, but abandoned themselves to the worship of other gods. They were quick to stray from the way their fathers had taken, and did not follow their example of obedience to the commandments of the Lord. Whenever the Lord raised up judges for them, he would be with the judge and save them from the power of their enemies as long as the judge lived; it was thus the Lord took pity on their distressful cries of affliction under their oppressors. But when the judge died, they would relapse and do worse than their fathers, following other gods in service and worship, relinquishing none of their evil practices or stubborn conduct

And here we encounter and often misunderstood concept in Scripture: the wrath of God. Fundamentally the “wrath of God” is His passion to set things right. It does not mean God has anger like we have anger, that he is a moody God who looses his temper from time to time. Since God is love, we must understand his anger in this light. We must also understand his punishments in this manner.

The Book of Hebrews reminds us that God disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son (Hebrews 12:6). It further states that God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness (Heb 12:10), and that this discipline produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Heb 12:11).

God’s wrath, His anger, is his passion to set things right for us and for others. And thus we see in this passage that God used various means to draw his people back on the right path. the sending of warnings, judges (charismatic, prophet-like and military leaders), and finally delivering them for a time into the hands of their enemies.

And here we see the heart of sacred history, the keynote of the prophetic interpretation of reality: that unfaithfulness, ingratitude, and stubbornness are disastrous and at the heart of most of our suffering. It is our failure to heed God’s warnings, to hear his prophets, and to return to knowledge of Him and His ways, that is the deepest source of our problems.

Put more positively, our only true hope is to collectively return to God, to know Him, Love Him, and Serve Him. Our only real solution is to turn from our “Baals” and seek mercy and grace from the One True God. Our only hope, and it remains a standing promise, is God’s tender mercy, his abiding grace and his saving Love.

As an interpretive key to reality, this passage tells us why we are in the mess we’re in. Why are our worldwide economies devastated? Is it not because we have yielded to greed, and spent money for years on things we cannot afford? Is it not become we have become enslaved to our desires and that, even when we know we cannot go like this, we still do it? And are we not slaves because we have worshiped the creature rather than the creator who is blessed forever (Rom 1:25)? Is it not because we seek our joy and meaning in passing things rather than God? And have we not heard the warnings of the gospel against amassing wealth and of not seeking first the Kingdom of God?

And now God, after many warnings, has handed us over to our own stubbornness. And what are the “nations” that now trample despoil and plunder us? Is it not the crushing burden of our own debt, and the disgraceful and embarrassing bill we leave our children?

If you want to name a nation call it China, but in the end, China is not the problem, we are. We just can’t stop our addictive spending, our demands for more and more benefits, and our demands that “someone else” pay for it all. We can’t stop it would seem, unless God allows it all to crash.

The judgment of God is on us as never regarding our collective greed, our insatiable appetite for more. I offer this (humbly) as a prophetic interpretation of reality, not in the same sense that Scripture can, but in the sense of applying what Scripture says of God’s ways when we stubbornly refuse to repent. What is clearly scriptural is that our problem is our sin.

The same could be said of the grave sexual confusion of our times and the increasing dissolution of our families. After decades of reckless sexual misbehavior through fornication, adultery, homosexual activity and pornography, our families are in disarray and a host of social problems beset us; problems that are so deep, it is hard to image anything but a total collapse can return us to our senses. Problem after problem mounts: AIDS, Sexually transmitted diseases, teenage pregnancy, single mothers, divorce, abortion, broken homes, broken hearts and children raised in messy and confused situations. There are also declining birthrates and the social dynamite that implies.

And what are the nations that will surely despoil and plunder us. At one level it is the Muslims are are set to simply replace the Europeans whose birthrate implies they have decided to abort and contracept themselves right out of existence. In effect God’s judgement is on the sterile West: If you do not love life, there are others who do and they will replace you and populate your cities and, (as we have seen in increasing ways), oppress you.

God then concludes his prophetic interpretation of reality in this way:

In his anger toward Israel the Lord said, “Inasmuch as this nation has violated my covenant which I enjoined on their fathers, and has disobeyed me, I for my part will not clear away for them any more of the nations which Joshua left when he died.” Through these nations the Israelites were to be made to prove whether or not they would keep to the way of the Lord and continue in it as their fathers had done; therefore the Lord allowed them to remain instead of expelling them immediately, or delivering them into the power of Israel.

In other words: “This is a Test.” Will we choose to follow God and see an end to many of the disasters that have befallen our culture, or will we persist in our stubborn disobedience and see things worsen? The decision is ours.

Now again, this is a prophetic interpretation of reality. In other words, the passage, and others like it tell us what is really going on. We, in the West like to analyze our problems in worldly ways. Hence some say our problem is a lack of resources, or the wrong political party in power, or the International Monetary Commission, or some fictional Trilateral commission, or the wrong credit to cash ratio, or not enough AIDS medicine, or contraceptives in the “third world” or, or, or….

But God says our problem is a sinful stubbornness, our mistaken and sinful priorities, our idols, our greed, our lust and our refusal to repent. This is a prophetic interpretation of reality and we may go on ignoring it,  and this sinful and unbelieving world may even ridicule such an interpretation. But we ignore it to our peril and ultimate demise as a nation and culture.The enemy is within and the blame is ours.

Pay attention, this is a prophetic interpretation of reality. Are we listening?


Here’s a little call to conversion I put together last year:

If you can use anything Lord, You can use me. A Meditation on the Readings for the 11th Sunday of the Year

The readings today speak of God’s providence often displayed in humble, hidden and mysterious ways. While it is true that God and does work in overpowering ways, yet, his more common method would seem to be using the humbler and even unlikely things of the created order to accomplish his goals.

For we who are disciples, there are three related teachings given us that speak of how God will make use of us and others. It will also be good to link these teaching to Father’s Day which occurs this weekend in the US. In a word, each of these three teachings are described as: Adaptability, Awe-Ability, and Accountability.

I. ADAPTABILITY. We hear in both the first reading and the Gospel how God can take what is very humble, and adapt it to be something very mighty and powerful.

Perhaps it is the tender shoot of the first reading that becomes a mighty oak: I, [the Lord], will take from the crest of the cedar…a tender shoot, and plant it on a high and lofty mountain;…It shall put forth branches and bear fruit, and become a majestic cedar. (Ezekiel 17:22-23)

Perhaps it is the mustard seed of the first reading which becomes a great shade tree: The…kingdom of God…is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth. But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade (Mk 4:32-33).

Yes, God adapts us for his purposes and no one should say, I cannot be used. An old song says, “If you can use anything Lord, you can use me.”And old litany says,

The next time you think God can’t use you, remember:

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses was murderer had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt and depressed
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer.
Lazarus was dead!

No excuses then, God chooses the weak and makes them strong

In fact, it is often our very weakness that is the open door for God. In our strength we are usually too proud to be of any use to God. Moses was too strong at age forty when he pridefully murdered a man, and thought he was doing both the Jews and God a favor. Only forty years later, at age 80, was Moses weak and humble enough to depend on God. Only then could God use him.

Yes, God often uses the humble things, and the humble people of this earth to do his greatest work. St Paul says,

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. (1 Cor 1:25-29).

Therefore, we are invited in this principle to consider that it is not merely the biggie-wow things that we do, where God can work. It is also in the humble and imperfect things about us, the mustard seed faith, the tiny shoots and humble growth, that God can magnify his power.

When I think of my father, I do not remember all the wise sayings he bestowed, but I do remember who he was: a man passionate about what was right, a man who did what was right, often a great personal sacrifice. I remember how he fought for my mentally ill sister when the insurance company wanted to forsake her. I remember how strong and manly my father was. I remember that I always had food, clothing and shelter. I remember that I had a college education, all paid for. I remember his love for learning and his capacity to speak and write with persuasive power. I remember how he cared for my mother in the struggle of her final fifteen years and how he almost never left her side.

In all these things, great and small, but especially in the small, daily duties, that God worked through my father to sustain his family and give us the most lasting example of what it means to be a man, a father and a disciple.

My Father was not perfect. Among other things he struggled with anger, but it was also that anger that made him passionate about what was right and which pointed to his integrity. Yes, even in the humblest things, our shortcomings, God can work and bring forth mighty things.

So the first principle is adaptability, that God can take and adapt even the humblest, ordinary and lowly things and bring forth might and lasting fruit. Never despair of what is most humble about you, or that you are of little account on the world stage. It is precisely our humble state which God will most often use to bring forth his greatest and most lasting works.

II. AWE-ABILITY, the capacity to reverence mystery and to have wonder and awe at what God does. In the Gospel Jesus emphasizes that, though a man plants seeds he does not really know the deeper mysteries of life and growth:

This is how it is with the kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how. (Mk 4:26-27)

Despite our often self-congratulatory celebration of our sciences, and of how much we think we know, there is much more we do not know or understand. We do well to maintain a reverential awe of the deeper mysteries of God’s works, and his ways. We are also rather poor at assessing whether, and how effective, our methods may be. We may come away from a project and consider it to have been very effective, and little comes of it in the long run. And then too, some of what we consider a poor effort, and ineffective, may often bear great fruit. God works in his own ways and we do well to remember that God may well surprise us and remind us he is able and is in charge.

Some years ago, a friend of mine had at her desk a “God can.” In was a metal cookie box, and on the cover was the saying, He worketh in strange and mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. Into this box she would place slips of papers on which were written the challenges, struggles and failures of her life. These were the things where, when she met the limits of her strengths and abilities, she would say, “I can’t…..but God can.” And into this metal “God can” went the slips of paper, placed there in hope that God could make a way out of no way. And, quite often He did.

We do well to cultivate a sense of wonder and awe and who God is and what and how he works. Not only does this bring us joy, but is also opens us to hope, and to the possibilities that God can work in hidden ways to exult what is humble and to bring great transformation to those who are cast down and troubled, including ourselves and our culture. As we saw in point one, it is often in the humblest things that God does his mightiest works.

III. ACCOUNTABILITY. If it is true that we can’t, but God can; if it is true that God can use us mightily despite our humble state, our weakness, and even our sin; if all this is true, then there can be no excuses for not bearing fruit in our life. And, to one extent or another, all of us are accountable to the Lord as to how we let him use us and work through us, to further his Kingdom,

The second reading reminds us For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each may receive recompense, according to what he did in the body, whether good or evil (2 Cor 5:9-10)

For, as we have seen God is able to adapt,  and to work in wondrous and hidden ways to lift us up, even if we are humble and struggle. Given this capacity of God, we must one-day render an account to how we have responded to God’s grace and his invitation to be exulted.

On that day of judgment the expression “I couldn’t” will ring hollow, because as we have seen: “God CAN” Today’s readings remind us to be open to what God can do, often in mysterious ways, and even with the most humble things in our lives.

On this Father’s Day’s, all men who are fathers are asked to stand up and be counted; to stand up and receive a blessing. Fathers, of course, have great obligations. But as we have seen, God can do mighty things even in our imperfections and struggles.

The first thing every Father must do is turn to God and say, “If you can use anything, Lord, you can use me.” He then has the obligation to let God go to work through him and to realize that he will be held accountable if he blocks God’s grace or refuses to let God work.

My father, in his later years became something of a penitent. He had been away from the Church for more than twenty years, and returned in 1989, the year I was ordained. I know my mother and Grandmother had surely prayed for his return.

But my father never did anything halfway. When he returned he went to weekday Mass (never missed a day, even on vacation), daily rosary, daily Stations of the Cross, daily Chaplet of Divine Mercy. One day I said to him, “Wowsa Dad, that’s really high octane!” He said, “Listen son, I did a lot of sinning early on, and I’ve got some serious ground to make up!”

Yes, for all the prayers he had not said and all the masses he missed, he surely made up lost ground, and then some. And while one may argue as to the theology of grace operative in his thinking, he surely had his judgment in mind and knew that, whereas once he had blocked God’s grace from flowing through him, now he would open the floodgates and let God’s work flow through like him a mighty stream.

I know his family and this world benefited enormously from his largely hidden hours in Church and at other hours of the day. I have little doubt that I am in great debt to him for his many prayers for me, and now I render some of the debt by praying often masses for the repose of his soul and that of my mother.

In my own parish, I am calling the men to account in this year. I am summoning them to spend a year preparing, with prayer, Bible study and fellowship to make the following pledge:

I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. —Joshua 24:15

This resolution comes from the movie Courageous, which I strongly recommend you see, if you have not already done so. We will gather with men from, I pray, five other parishes, study, pray and prepare, so that the men can knowingly, and with reflection. make this resolution.

Indeed, all of us, men and women will be held accountable. For even if we can’t, God can. And even if we feel too humble and insignificant, God does his greatest work with humble things and people. For us it is simply to say that we have an adaptability that God can use, and this should inspire in us an Awe-ability that joyfully acknowledges God’s often secretive and hidden power. If that be the case, then, knowing our accountability, it simply remains for us to say, “If you can use anything, Lord, you can use me!”

Sacred Heart of Jesus

This entry was written by Sr. Mary Dolora Keating, R.S.M., Delegate for Consecrated Life, Archdiocese of Washington.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Blessed Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus!

I would like to present 3 points for your reflection as we participate in the 50th International Eucharistic Congress in Dublin, Ireland:  1) the Theme of the Eucharistic Congress for this Solemnity; 2) Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus; and 3) Devotion to the Most Holy Eucharist.

The Theme

Today is the 5th Day of the Eucharist Congress in Dublin, Ireland which, as you know, has the theme of, “Communion in Suffering and in Healing.”  The daily congress theme informs both the presentation/workshops and Liturgies of each day.

In his words of Welcome at the Opening Mass, His Excellency Most Reverend Diarmud Martin, Archbishop of Dublin and Primate of Ireland said that “. . . the Church in Ireland is suffering” and that each member may, in this time of prayer at the Congress, turn to the Lord who will renew, heal, and strengthen them in their faith.  He reminded us that the graces flowing from this Sacrament would offer the members of the Catholic Church in Ireland the love, peace, hope and courage to accept their own share in suffering at this time.

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Let anyone who is thirsty come to me,

And let the one who believes in Me drink.”  John 7:37

The mystery of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is both gift and choice.  This gift given by Jesus Christ requires an assent of faith both to come to the Sacred Heart and then to drink of the Precious Blood pouring forth from His Pierced Heart on the cross.  Will we allow Christ and His Love to be the primary Mover in our heart?  Will we allow Him to reveal all that hinders this intimate exchange and then do all we can to protect, preserve and nourish this life of grace within us?  May all else be secondary to receiving Christ’s Love from this wondrous Fount of our Salvation!

Pope Pius XII wrote in the Encyclical, Haurietis Aquas, On Devotion to the Sacred Heart, of 1956 the following:

 “. . .it is beyond question that this devotion is an act of religion of high order; it demands of us a complete and unreserved determination to devote and consecrated ourselves to the love of the divine Redeemer, Whose wounded Heart is its living token and symbol” [P. 6].

It is a great gift that this Solemnity occurs during the 50th International Eucharistic Congress in Dublin, Ireland.  Through the fervent participation in this marvelous devotion, may many graces be bestowed upon the Church of Ireland.  At His General Audience on Wednesday, June 13, 2012, His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, asked all members of the Church to pray for the success of the Eucharistic Congress in Dublin as he said,

“I invite you to remain spiritually united to Christians in Ireland and the world, praying for the work of the congress, that the Eucharist may always be the pulsating heart of all church life.”

 Devotion to the Most Holy Eucharist

Because the Congress Theme of this day is “Communion in Suffering and in Healing,” I will address briefly how the Blessed Sacrament is a great remedy for our hearts most in need of healing.

We often say to one another, “I will pray for you.”  This is most fitting for us to pray both for the living and deceased.  We also ask the saints’ intercession for particular needs.  It is noteworthy, however, to recall that the Blessed Sacrament is the actual Presence of God without any intermediary.  He alone can heal our every infirmity of mind, soul or spirit.

St. Thomas Aquinas teaches in Summa Theologiae, III, q. 73, art. 1, that, as in the body, it is necessary that our physical life be maintained through nourishment, so too, in the spirit, our life as adopted children of God must be nourished by the Holy Eucharist. As vegetative life needs nourishment both to be preserved and grow, so too does our spiritual life need food to sustain the life given us in Baptism and called to the perfection of growth through the Sacrament of Confirmation.

I close with the prayer to the Most Blessed Sacrament recited customarily at the North American College in Rome,

 “May the Heart of Jesus

In the Most Blessed Sacrament

Be Praised, Adored, and Loved

With Grateful Affection

At every moment

In all the Tabernacles of the world

Now, and until the end of time. 

Amen.”

We thank sister for the photos as well!

Vive la différence – Appreciating that Men and Women are Different

On Friday evenings when I blog I often like to feature some commercial or poignant video and today is no exception. The videos at the bottom all highlight the fact that men and women are very different.

The first two videos are Verizon commercials that illustrate how men and women handle a farewell ritual. The mother and her daughter departing for college interact very emotionally, while in the second commercial the father and departing son interact very subtly, but with no less affection.

Granted, the differences are exaggerated, but exaggeration only makes sense if there is some kernel of truth in its observation. Men and women are different, and thank God.

Early in the pages of Scripture God decreed that It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable helpmate for him (Gen 2:18). And God made woman. And she is quite different from Adam and yet one with him.

The physical differences are obvious, but, in Christian and biblical anthropology, these physical differences arise from important differences in the soul. It is the soul that is the form of the body. In other words it is the qualities of the male and female soul give rise to physical differences.

This is to some, politically incorrect today, yet it remains true. It is a common modern error to be dismissive of the profound differences between the sexes. No one can deny the physical differences, but they are dismissed as surface only, of no real, deeper significance. But the truth is that our bodies are expressions of the faculties of our soul and male and female differences are far more than skin deep.

It also remains true that these differences often give rise to tensions in the marriage and the overall relationships between men and women. That men and women perceive differently, think differently, and have different emotional experiences, is just a fact and it is always healthy to recognize and accept reality.

Too often, in the modern age there has been a tendency to dismiss these deep differences as just archetypes of bygone “sexist” era. But what ends up happening is that an expectation is created that these differences will just go away when we decide to ignore them, or pretend they don’t exist. And thus resentments and anger follow, because these differences do exist. Too many marriages end in power struggles because neither spouse can accept that it was not good for them to be alone and that God gave them a spouse who, by design, is very different, so that they could be challenged and completed.

It is true, Original Sin has intensified our pain at the experience of these given differences. The Catechism links the tension surrounding these difference to the Fall of Adam and Eve:

[The] union [of husband and wife] has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character. According to faith the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations;their mutual attraction, the Creator’s own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust; and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work. Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them “in the beginning.” (CCC #s 1606-1608)

In the end, it seems clear that we need to return to an appreciation of the necessity of our differences. Though our differences can be be intensified by sin, it is a fact that God made us different for a reason. These differences help spouses to complete each other. A husband should say, “My wife has some things important to teach me. I am incomplete without her.” Likewise the wife should be able to say that her husband has important things to teach her and that he somehow completes her. In this way we move beyond power struggles and what is right and wrong in every case and learn to experience that some tension is good. No tension, no change. God intends many of these differences to change and complete spouses. God calls the very difference humans he has made “suitable” partners.

And humor never hurts. So here are some videos. The first two I have already mentioned. The Third video contains the classic and wonderful comedy routine about the differences between a man’s brain and a woman’s brain. Humor is often the best of medicines to defuse some of the tensions that arise from our differences. Vive la difference!