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33,000 Years of Marriage In This Place – A Few Pointers From Catholics Married for Long Years

072613This past week six couples in my parish joined about 850 other couples in the Archdiocese of Washington at the Basilica here for the Jubilarian Mass. Couples celebrating 25, 40, 45, 50 and 60 or more years of marriage gather each year to receive gratitude and recognition from the diocese for their witness to the fact that love never fails. We may fail, but love is our constant call, and, if we will let love have its way amor omnia vincit (love conquers all).

In times like these the witness of many years of marriage is all the more necessary and all the more inspiring. My parents made it to 45 years before my mother died. And I know they were not all easy years. I have written on that here before. But as the years ticked by Charles and Nancy Pope, my parents were quite inseparable. When my mother did die, and she died suddenly and tragically, I knew my father wasn’t long for this world. We kids wondered how dad would manage without mom. Shortly after her death he wondered aloud how he could go on living when half of him was gone.

Saying those words witnessed to the miracle of holy matrimony where God takes two and makes them one. My father and mother did not get to that place quickly or easily (there we some stormy years in their forties). But they got there, by God’s grace, they got there.

My Aunt and Uncle just celebrated their 50th. Again, many years, lots of love but also their share of struggles and sorrows. Yes, God is faithful, and he will do what he says: “They are no longer two, they are one.” (Matt 19:6)

In the Basilica last Sunday some one did the math and found that there were 33,000 years of Holy Matrimony collectively among the Jubilarians in that place. Amor omnia vincit.

Many will point to the crisis of Holy Matrimony today. I would not be so foolish to deny it and have discussed it here. But to those who say it is not reasonable or possible to expect people to get married and stay that way today, My mom and dad, my aunt and uncle, 850 other couples in the Basilica and 33,000+ years of marriage all stand in witness to the fact that God can do this, and God STILL does this.

I am not a married man in the conventional sense, but I have had the privilege of talking with many married couples over the years, and I have asked of,  and been able to discern the ingredients of success in holy matrimony, and the priesthood, by extension. Here are few brief pointers that the successful have offered in one way or another over the years to me:

1. No Ideal Marriage – Many people want marriage to be ideal, if there is any ordeal they want to look for a new deal. And the problem is that they want marriage to be ideal. But there is not such thing. Every marriage is imperfect. It has blessings, but also burdens. Clinging to the “ideal Marriage” fantasy is a recipe for resentment and disappointment. Living in reality is essential. Many good marriages are far from ideal, but they are good. And the best should not be the enemy of the good.

2. Always remember, you are sinner, who married a sinner. God wants marriage, as a sacrament to be a means of salvation for both spouses. Hence, marriage somewhat presumes that work was necessary for both spouses upon the beginning of a marriage. Let God do his work, and that work is sometimes painful. Marriage is an important way that God teaches and virtues such as humility, forgiveness, patience, kindness, honesty, accountability, and so forth. Honestly, if we do not learn these virtues and receive them from God, we will likely go to hell. Marriage is one of the ways God works to save us. It is a call to holiness, and as a sacrament, it is a way to holiness.

3. Stay in your lane and work your own stuff first. Always begin by saying, “My marriage is not perfect because I am in it.

4. Some of God’s gifts come in strange packages. For those who are faithful, all things work together for good (cf Rom 8:28). Notice that, ALL things. Not just the good things, even the bad things. Spouses bring many blessings to one another in pleasant ways. But even the less pleasant and difficult things, for the reasons stated in # 2 above, redound to our good if we can learn to learn from adversity as well as pleasantries. A spouse, by God’s grace, is a means by which the other spouse grows in holiness.

5. What you feed grows – It is usually the case when couples date that they compliment each other and overlook negative things rather easily. But a few years into a marriage when the “I Do” has become “You’d Better”  the negative is focused on. Couples in crisis all too easily have great recall of all the foibles and sins of the other, what they have done and not done is easily recited. When I ask what is good about the other, suddenly the memory is less clear and the recitation less articulate. It is a simple truth that what you feed will grow, and what you starve will shrink and die. Couples who have made often talk of being blessed with a poor memory, and a forgetfulness of hurts, and of being grateful for the blessings that their spouse brings. They have learned to feed the positive and starve the negative.

6. Beware the noonday devil – It often happens that when one sets about a good thing like marriage, priesthood or the religious life, or other paths, that at the four or five year mark a certain lethargy sets in that combines boredom, perhaps some discouragement and a desire to get free for something new. This is the noonday devil, the five-year itch. Beware it, but even more, ignore it. Those who make it through this transition are all glad they did. I say “transition” because that is what it is. Life cannot simply be based on newness and thrills. Our commitments must ultimately have deeper roots to be stable and it is important to transition to the daily living of the tasks before us. One ultimately adjusts to slowing down to the pace of life and comes to appreciate what is familiar and stable. If one can make this transition in marriage a more stable and mature love replaces the more mercurial love of romance and courtship.

7. Marriage is hard because life is hard. It is so easy to think life would be better outside the marriage or in another marriage. No. Life is hard. It is hard being a priest, it is hard being single, it is hard being married. Life is hard. Life also has joys in all these states. One of the hard truths that sets us free if we accept it is simply that life is hard. There is not escaping this. There is no where to go where this will not be so. Running from marriage because it is hard is futile. If you try to run from this truth you will meet yourself coming back. There is no escaping this, we live in paradise lost. Life is hard. Running never works.

8. Your spouse’s strengths and struggles are very much related. If we are honest we will discover that what we most like about people is only separated by 3 degrees from what we dislike. For example, we may know someone who is a great organizer or manager. And we very much like and depend on the leadership they have. However, the same person can also be controlling or a bit anxious about things. Their strength and their struggle are very closely related. Perhaps too we know of person who is passionately committed and creative. But that same person also struggles with the passion of anger, or the moodiness of the creative. Someone many be very outgoing and friendly, but they also, thereby, struggle to be committed to core principles and may be a people-pleaser. Successful spouses learn to take the bad with the good, and to accept that what they most like and admire about their spouse, is also accompanied by a less desirable side to it. But at the end of the day they are able to link the two, accepting the tension with appreciation for what it points to.

9. Happiness is an inside job – Most successful spouses come to love and admire many things about their spouse, and their marriage brings with it many happy moments. But, at the end of the day, most individuals are about as happy as they set out to be. Too often we think that happiness comes from external factors. It is true that external factors can bring comfort. But happiness has its origin in our own own heart. There are many people who have very admirable external settings who are not happy. There are also people who have difficult external situations but are happy and content. In the end, happiness is a gift that comes from God which we must allow him to work in us, whatever our circumstances. It is wrong and idolatrous to make another human being, even your spouse, the source of your happiness. Not only is it wrong, it is unfair to your spouse. Only God can grant true and lasting happiness. And we must individually cooperate with that work of God. Our spouse can and should help in this regard, but they cannot be the ultimate source of our happiness. Ultimately we have a God-sized hole in our heart that only God can fill. No human being can take that place.

10. Faith is Fundamental – While it is true that irreligious couples do succeed in marriage, the best guarantee for a successful marriage is for each of the spouses to report to and be accountable and obedient to God. The remedies of the sacraments, God’s word, prayer, sacred teaching and walking in fellowship with other believers are essential helps that we are foolish to try and live without.

11. Headship Matters – There is an old saying, Marriage makes two people one. The trouble comes in determining which one. – One of the biggest problems today in marriage is power struggle. In our modern age we have rejected the biblical teaching of headship in marriage. God establishes a husband in authority in the home. Every organism and organization requires headship. A creature with two heads is a freak. A creature with no head is dead. Having rejected the necessity of headship and the biblical teaching assigning that to the husband (eg Eph 5:19 ff) the result is power struggle between the spouses. Now a husband’s authority is not a worldly, autocratic authority but a Christian, servant based authority (Cf Mark 10:41-45).  It does not follow that the husband always “gets his way.” Rather, if he is smart, he listens carefully to his wife and her wisdom. Practically speaking women have great authority in the home and its daily running and a smart husband will not seek to micromanage and usurp his wife’s role and her practical authority there and with the children. But in the end, two have to become one. Oneness requires headship, common faith, shared fear of the Lord, and a heartfelt appreciation for the gifts of each.

12. Your Marriage belongs to God, not you. The Scripture says, “What God has joined together, let no one divide. (Matt 19:6) Therefore note that God worked this work, not you. Your marriage is His work, it belongs to him. Respect what God has done and reverence it as of him, and by him and belonging to him.

Here then are a few things I have learned in 25 years of marriage counseling and talking to married couples. It is things like these, and more that I am sure you will add in the combox that adds up to 33,000 years of marriage and counting.

Here is a video from last year’s celebration. The couple seen in the still shot of this video box are Morris and Mary Freeman from my parish, who, that year celebrated their 50th. Mary died of a rapid form of cancer just two months after this video was taken. May she rest in peace.

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Clergy, Catechists, Parents: Have you Proclaimed The Whole Counsel of God?

061713One of the more powerful moments in pastoral ministry as described in Scripture is Paul’s farewell speech to the presbyters (priests) of the early Church. Here is a skilled bishop and pastor, exhorting others who have pastoral roles in the Church.

Lets take a look at this text and apply its wisdom to Bishops and priests as well as to parents and other leaders in the Church.

Paul’s Farewell Sermon – The scene is Miletus, a town in Asia Minor on the coast not far from Ephesus. Paul, who is about to depart for Jerusalem summons the presbyters (priests) of the early Church at Ephesus. Paul has ministered there for three years, and now gathers the priests for this final exhortation.

In the sermon, St. Paul cites his own example of having been a zealous teacher of the faith who did not fail to preach the “whole counsel of God.” He did not merely preach what suited him or made him popular. He preached it all. To these early priests Paul leaves this legacy and would have them follow in his footsteps. Let’s look at excerpts from this final exhortation. First the text them some commentary:

From Miletus Paul had the presbyters of the Church at Ephesus summoned. When they came to him, he addressed them, “You know how I lived among you the whole time from the day I first came to the province of Asia. I served the Lord with all humility and with the tears and trials that came to me…., and I did not at all shrink from telling you what was for your benefit, or from teaching you in public or in your homes. I earnestly bore witness for both Jews and Greeks to repentance before God and to faith in our Lord Jesus…..But now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem……“But now I know that none of you to whom I preached the kingdom during my travels will ever see my face again. And so I solemnly declare to you this day that I am not responsible for the blood of any of you, for I did not shrink from proclaiming to you the whole counsel of God….. (Acts 20:1-38 selected)

Here then is the prescription for every Bishop, every priest and deacon, every catechist, parent and Catholic: that we should preach the whole counsel (the entire plan of God). It is too easy for us to emphasize only that which pleases us or makes sense to us or fits in our worldview.

There are some who love the Lord’s sermons on love, but cannot abide his teachings on death, judgment, heaven and hell. Some love to discuss liturgy and ceremony, but the care of the poor is far from them. Others point to Jesus’ compassion, but neglect his call to repentance. Some love the way he dispatches the Pharisees and other leaders of the day, but become suddenly deaf when the Lord warns against fornication or insists that we love our neighbor, enemy and spouse. Some love to focus inwardly and debate over doctrine, but the outward focus of true evangelization to which we are commanded (cf Mat 28:19) is neglected.

In the Church today, as a whole, we too easily divide out rather predictably along certain lines and emphases: Life issues here, social justice over there; strong moral preaching over here, compassionate inclusiveness over there. When one side speaks, the other side says, “There they go again!”

And yet somewhere we must be able to say with St. Paul that we did not shrink from proclaiming the whole counsel of God.

While this is especially incumbent on the clergy, it must also be true for parents and all who attain to any leadership in the Church. All of the issues above are important and must have their proper place in the preaching and witness of every Catholic, clergy and lay. While we may have gifts to work in certain areas, we should learn to appreciate the whole counsel and the fact that others in the Church may be needed to balance and complete our work. It is true, we must exclude notions that stray from revealed doctrine, but within doctrine’s protective walls, it is necessary that we not shrink from proclaiming and appreciating the whole counsel of God.

And if we do this we will suffer. Paul speaks above of tears and trials. In preaching the whole counsel of God, (not just your favorite passages and politically correct and “safe” themes), expect to suffer. Expect to not quite fit in with people’s expectations.

Jesus got into trouble with just about everyone. He didn’t just offend the elite and powerful. Even his own disciples puzzled over his teachings on divorce saying If that is the case of man not being able to divorce his wife it is better never to marry! (Matt 19). Regarding the Eucharist, many left him and would no longer walk in his company (John 6). In speaking of his divine origins many took up stones to stone him, but he passed through their midst (Jn 8). In addition he spoke of taking up crosses, forgiving your enemy and preferring nothing to him. He forbade even lustful thoughts, let alone fornication, and insisted we must learn to curb our unrighteous anger. Preaching the whole counsel of God is guaranteed to earn us the wrath of many.

As a priest I have sadly had to bid farewell to congregations, and this farewell speech of Paul is a critical passage whereby I examine my ministry. Did I preach even the difficult stuff? Was I willing to suffer for the truth? Did my people hear from me the whole counsel of God, or just the safe stuff? In my time with these good people, did they hear clearly from me as to the critical moral issues of our day? Do they know what the Church teaches and her scriptures announce? Have I been clear with them not just what is taught, but also why?

How about you? Have you proclaimed the whole counsel of God? If you are clergy when you move on…..if you are a parent when your child leaves for college…..if you are a Catechist when the children are ready to be confirmed or have reached college age…..If you teach in RCIA and the time comes for sacraments……Can you say you preached it all?

God warned Ezekiel that if he failed to warn the sinner, that sinner would surely die for his sins but that Ezekiel himself would be responsible for his death, (Ez 3:17 ff). Paul is able to say he is not responsible for the death (the blood) of any of them for he did not shrink from proclaiming the whole counsel of God. How about us?

The whole counsel of God; not just the safe stuff, the popular stuff, not just the stuff that agrees with my politics and those of my friends. The whole counsel, even the difficult stuff, the ridiculed things. The Whole Counsel of God.

This video contains the warning to the watchmen (us) in Ezekiel 3. Watch it if you dare.

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Pray, Pray, Pray for Priests! A Meditation on Something My Mother Taught Me

061613Last week I blogged on how priests pray for God’s people. indeed, such prayers are built into our daily schedule.

And this post is the other side of the equation, the need that priests have for your prayers. Indeed, I will say, pray, pray, pray for priests. We need your prayers!

I attended another ordination this week, my second this month. It is a good thing for a priest to return each year to his roots, and see other, younger brothers ordained. The rite is so rich and the readings so transformative, the instructions of the rite and the Bishop so necessary. Cardinal Wuerl was in good form and I hope to share some of his thoughts later.

This year though, my heart was heavy as I thought of two brother priests who are in real crisis right now. Pray for them.

Satan hates priests and seeks above all to get to us. Jesus remarked laconically and pointedly, quoting from Zechariah (13:7): Strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ And thus Satan hates priests and seeks to topple them above all, corruptio optime pessima (the corruption of the best is the worst).

In this regard of praying for priests, I must say, have always felt my mother’s prayers very powerfully. My mother, Nancy Geiman Pope who died in 2005, and is now at home, I pray, with the Lord, always told me that she was praying for me! I often attributed her prayers to her tendency to worry. But I have learned of the power of her prayers, and the necessity of them. She said the Lord had told her that Satan wanted me and all priests, and that she had better pray for me. I never doubt she did, and still does.

I remember once, a week before my ordination in 1989, I was up on the roof of our family house, cleaning out the gutters. She came out and told me to come down from the roof at once and that she would hire some one to clean them. She insisted, I was to come down at once. She explained later that her concern was that I, so near ordination, was now a special target of the evil one.

She always told me she was praying for me. I usually thought she was just fretting. But, as I have seen too many of my brother priests struggle and fall over the years, I have come to see her wisdom and the need for her prayers. I have also come to value the prayers of so many of my parishioners who have told me they were praying. Yes, I need a hedge of protection. And so do all other priests. Pray for priests! Pray, pray, pray!

My mother has long since gone home to the Lord. But I still feel her prayers. Somehow she knew I needed them in a way that I, in my pride, did not always know. But I have come to know.

Thanks be to God, I have been a faithful and fruitful priest for almost 25 years. But I know it was not me. It was the Lord and the prayers of so many, like my mother, who have prayed for me.

Back in my 33rd year of life and 5th year of priesthood I was severely attacked by the evil one. He made his move and sought to discourage and destroy me. He did not succeed. My mother and others were praying. My parishioners too, saw my distress and rallied to pray for me and hold me up. And now, almost 20 years later, I feel strong, alive, joyful and grateful.

But I am no fool, Satan will try again. I pray only for the prayers of God’s holy people and for my own sober awareness of the need to pray and to fulfill the mandate of the Lord who said, Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matt 26:41)

Yes, somehow during Saturday’s ordination of six news priests, I was joyful, yet sober and prayerful for two for my brothers who are suffering. I thought too of at least a dozen I have known who fell under the burden of office and are no longer in the active priesthood.

And somewhere, in the midst of all of it, my thoughts stretched to my mother. Thanks Mom, for your prayers, and for your wisdom. You knew that precious gifts, like the priesthood, come also with crushing burdens and temptations that require sober and vigilant prayer. One day you called me down from the “roof” of my pride and told me to keep my feet on solid ground. Yes, you knew, and you prayed. You warned and prayed some more.

Thank you mom for your prayers. And thank you dear readers and beloved parishioners for your prayers. They have sustained me. Better men than I are suffering, and better men than I have fallen under the burden of office. It is only your prayers that have kept me. Yes, pray, pray, pray for priests. Join your prayers to those of my mother Nancy Geiman Pope, and others in the great beyond, and many others here on this earth. Pray for priests. Pray, pray, pray.

The photo at the top? Yeah, that’s me, in a needy moment and my mom holding me up in prayer and care. She still does this from her current location, closer to the Lord. Her prayers still hold me, and mine, for her. Requiescat in Pace.

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Always Remember: A Homily for the 11th Sunday of the Year

061513Every now and then it will be said by some that the Church should speak less of sin and emphasize more positive things. It is said that honey attracts more flies than vinegar. And indeed, we in the Church have been collectively de-emphasizing sin to a large degree for more than forty years. But, despite predictions, our churches have been getting emptier and emptier. Maybe this is because people are a little more complicated than the “flies” in the old saying.

Jesus also gives the reason in today’s Gospel as to why our churches are getting emptier. Simply put there is less love. He says, But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little. (Luke 7:47)

Why is there less love? As Jesus says, there is less love because there is less appreciation of what the Lord has done for us and the debt He paid for us. Because debt of sin is no longer preached as it should be, we are less aware of just how grave our condition is. Thus we under-appreciate what the Lord has done for us. This in turn diminishes love,  and a lack of love leads to absence and neglect.

Understanding sin is essential for us to understand what the Lord has done for us. Remembering what the Lord has done for us brings gratitude and love. To those who want the Church to de-emphasize sin Jesus warns, But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little. (Luke 7:47)

Here then is the gospel in summary form, and the short, TV Mass version of my sermon. If you wish to ponder more, here follows a further commentary:

I. Rich Love – The Gospel opens with a sign of extravagant love. The text says, A Pharisee invited Jesus to dine with him, and he entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. Now there was a sinful woman in the city who learned that he was at table in the house of the Pharisee. Bringing an alabaster flask of ointment, she stood behind him at his feet weeping and began to bathe his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair,
kissed them, and anointed them with the ointment.

One may argue as to the value of the ointment in this passage. Some have wished to opine that she was a wealthy on account of prostitution, and could thus afford an expensive ointment. Fine. But her tears were far more costly than any ointment. Yes, her tears are the most costly thing in her life, born on great pain and costly sorrow.

It is true, many of her sorrows are likely the result of her own foolishness. But that does not decrease her pain, it increases it. Yes, the most costly thing with which she anoints the Lord’s feet is her tears. There is nothing more precious to the Lord than the love of his faithful, than their sorrow for sins, and their turning to him in love and repentance; no greater gift.

In Jesus day people ate a formal dinner reclining on the floor, on a mat, on their left side. Their feet were behind them and they ate with their right hand. This explains the ability of the woman to approach Jesus’ feet from behind.

In this sense she is able to “surprise” Jesus by her love. Perhaps she was not ready to look upon his face and behold his holy countenance. Just his feet, the lowliest aspect of his sacred humanity, that is where she begins. She humbles herself to serve that part of him that most engages our lowly earth. There, even the Son of God had callouses, perhaps even a wound or two. Yes, there she saw reflected her own humility, saw her own callouses and wounds. There she would discover the first wounds the Savior endured for us; wounds that reflected that He knew what this world can do to a person.

She loves, sharing the incalculable gift of her own sorrows, sorrow for sin and sorrow on account of others who sinned against her. And there she found a friend in Jesus who, though sinless himself, had suffered mightily on account of the sins of others and would suffer more.

Such love, such relief. And, as we shall see, her love is rooted in an experience of mercy. And her experience of mercy is rooted in a deep knowledge of her sinfulness. That experience led her to deep gratitude for the love the Lord had shown her. As we shall also see, her experience of the depths of God’s mercy is something we must all some how experience.

And we too are called to go to the Lord in sorrow and love. And there at the foot of the cross we look up. And what is the first thing we see? His feet. And there, like the woman, we are called to love, to weeping for our sins, and to the remembrance of His mercy for us.

II. Rebuke – When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner.”

Here is a dangerous comparison. The Pharisee accounts himself and others to be better or more holy than she. He seems to have no idea that he is also in need of grace and mercy as well.

There is a great danger in thinking that we can attain to heaven merely by being better than someone else. But that is NOT the standard. The Standard, to obtain heaven is to be like Jesus. And if we will lay hold of that, we will see that we are ALL going a lot of grace and mercy to even stand a chance! Yes, to this Pharisee and to some of us the cry must go out: “Danger (Will Robinson)!”

The danger for us is a danger that prevents us from experiencing God’s grace mercy and love. The danger is our prideful presumption that we are less needy that others who are more sinful.

While it is true that, a purely human level, some many have sins more serious than others, at the divine level we are ALL poor and blind beggars who don’t stand a chance in comparison with the perfection and holiness of God. Even if I were to have $500 in comparison to your $50, the true value necessary to be able to endure God’s holiness is $50 Trillion. Thus, whatever differences may exist between you and I are nothing in comparison to the boatloads of grace mercy we will both need to ever hope to see God.

The Pharisee’s exasperation is borne on a blindness to his own sin. And, being blind in this way, his heart is ill-equipped to love or even experience love. He has no sense he needs it all! His sense is that he is has earned God’s love and that God somehow owes him. But God does not owe him. His only hope is grace, love and mercy from God.

Having no sense of his sin, he smugly dismisses this woman’s action as reprehensible. And he even considers Jesus naïve and of no account for accepting her love. Yet, Jesus is not naïve and the Pharisee had ought to be rather more careful since the measure that he measures will be measured back to him. His lack of mercy for her, brings a standard of strict justice on him. But he cannot endure this sort of justice. He is badly misled.

III. Rejoinder – Jesus said to him in reply, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Tell me, teacher, ” he said. “Two people were in debt to a certain creditor; one owed five hundred days’ wages and the other owed fifty. Since they were unable to repay the debt, he forgave it for both. Which of them will love him more?” Simon said in reply, “The one, I suppose, whose larger debt was forgiven.” He said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

And here comes the central point of this gospel, a point we have too widely set aside today. And the point is simply that, to appreciate the glory of the good news, we must first lay hold of the of the bad news. We must grasp the depths of our sin to appreciate the heights of God’s love and mercy.

But in this modern age which minimizes sins and has said, in effect, “I’m OK you’re OK,” little penetration of the depths of sin is made. And thus, there is little appreciation for the glory for God’s steadfast love and mercy.

Jesus could not be clearer, until we know the bill of our sins and grasp that we cannot even come close to paying it, we will make light of mercy and consider the gift of salvation wrought for us as of little or no account.

How tragic it is then, that many preachers in Church have stopped preaching sin. The effect of course, as was mentioned above, has been to minimize love and empty our churches. Knowing our sin, if such knowledge is of the Holy Spirit, leads to love. Jesus now points to the woman as a picture of what is necessary.

IV. Remembrance – Jesus points to the Woman and says, “Do you see this woman? When I entered your house, you did not give me water for my feet, but she has bathed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but she has not ceased kissing my feet since the time I entered. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she anointed my feet with ointment. So I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven because she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.”

Yes, behold her love, a love which is the fruit of a remembrance of what the Lord has done for her. She knows and remembers that she has been forgiven much. It is fixed in her mind what the Lord has done for her and she is grateful and different.

And here is the heart of what it means to remember. Has not the Lord told us all to remember what he has done for us? Indeed, he says it at every Mass: Do this in remembrance of me.
What does it mean to remember? It means to have so present in my mind and heart what the Lord has done for you that you’re grateful, and you’re different.

This woman cannot forget what Jesus has done for her. She remembers, she is grateful and she is different.

We too must be willing to go to the foot of the cross and let it dawn on us what the Lord has done for us, to let it dawn so that we are grateful and different, so that we are moved to love for the Lord and for others.

Go with me to the foot of the cross and pray (in the words of psalm 38):

Foul and festering are my sores,
at the face of my own foolishness.
I am stooped and turned deeply inward
And I walk about, all the day in sorrow.

I am afflicted and deeply humiliated
I groan in the weeping of my heart.

Before you O Lord are all my desires,
And my weeping is not hid from you.
My hearts shudders, my strength forsakes me,
And the very light itself has gone from my eyes.

But it is there, at the foot of the cross, that his mercy dawns on us, there in the shadow of our own sins does the power of his mercy break through our broken and humbled hearts:

I Love the Lord for he has heard
The voice of my lamentation.
For he turned his ear to me
On the day I called to him!

The lines of death had surrounded me,
And the anguish of Hell had found me.
In my tribulation and sorrow I called on the Lord,
“O Lord save my soul!”

Ah, The Lord is merciful and just,
Our God has had mercy!
The Lord guards his little ones.
I was humbled and he saved me!

Be turned back my soul to your rest,
My eyes, from tears, and my feet from slipping!
For I will walk in the presence of the Lord,
In the land of the living. (Psalm 116)

Always remember what the Lord has done for you. Go to the foot of the Cross. Let the Lord show you what he has done for you. Always remember and never forget. If you do, you will be grateful and different.

Some time ago the world cast off sorrow for sin as “unhealthy.” And, sadly, the larger part of the Church bought into the self esteem craze of the 1970s and 80s. It is true, there such a thing as morbid and unhealthy guilt. But there is also a godly sorrow of which St. Paul writes:

If I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. (2 Cor 7:8-11)

It is time for us all to rediscover godly sorrow, a sorrow for sins that comes from the Holy Spirit and which is the root of love and gratitude for the salvation of God. Without it we are too easily like the Pharisee in today’s Gospel: arrogant, harsh, dismissive, and self satisfied. As the Lord says, The one to whom little is forgiven, loves little. But with it we are like the woman: grateful, loving, serving, and extravagant.

Remember what the Lord has done for you. That is, let what the Lord has done for you be so present in your mind and heart that you are grateful and you are different.

Always Remember.


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On the Ultimate Unity of All things in God, As Seen in a Science Video.

061413The video below, which was featured on NewAdvent.org yesterday shows a remarkable relationship and unity between two things we seldom think of together: sound and geometry. And yet, there it is.

From my own studies I have long seen a kind of relationship between music and math. For example, the current 12-Tone scale was developed in the 15th Century using the Pythagorean theorem. Clearly music and geometry come together since the length of a string or a pipe determines the pitch of the sound made. Thus, geometry and sound DO relate.

More artistically I have always relished the mathematical precision of Baroque music, especially of the Bach fugue, which amounts to a kind of mathematical progression on a musical theme.

But all my linking of math and music was something I thought of as largely a manner of thinking, an intellectual connection if you will. But the video below shows that there more than intellectual abstraction going on. The connection between sound and geometry is also physical. As each tone is produced, the geometry is produced and visible to the eye. As the tone changes, so does the picture created.

Frankly: Wowza! It is a wonder and awe moment!

And why shouldn’t there be a clear relationship? At the end of the day, all things are one, and connected because the one God who is simple and and one, produced them all. We see his fingerprints in everything he has made. In the video, God’s fingerprints are beautifully displayed.

Most people don’t connect sound and geometry. But since they both come from God, they are connected, and it merely falls to us to discover the relationship.

For years now scientists have sought to find a unifying and simple theory that explains everything. Some decades ago it was called the “Grand-unified Theory.” More recently the media coined the term “God-particle.” Whatever you want to call is, the hunt is one for the one thing that explains everything.

Theologians have known the answer for thousands of years, and expressed it in our own terms. The grand unified theory, the one thing that explains everything is Love. God is love, and He who IS love explains everything. Why is there something as opposed to nothing? Love. Why is the universe so big and so diverse, why such extravagance? Love. Why is there justice, why is there beauty, why is there order, why is there desire? Love!

Love is not merely something God does, it is not a mere attribute. God IS love. And as love, he has done all things. Love explains everything. God is Love and Love loves, that’s what love does, it loves. Why are sound and geometry ultimately one? Because the same Love made them both and resonates in them both. The same Love sustains them.

Do not misinterpret this. Distinctions are important, at least for us humans. We need to distinguish and must distinguish. It is the basis of thought for us, who are contingent and limited beings. But at the end of the day, what we distinguish as more in common that it has in distinction. Why? Because God who is Love made and sustains everything. We ought never forget, as we distinguish, (for we must), that there is a deeper and mystical union to all things.

Perhaps I can end with a “Desert Father” story which I do not recall as to its origin, but I recite it from memory:

One day, a disciple came to the Abbot and asked, “What am I to do about the distance I experience with God?” The Abbot replied, “Understand that it isn’t there.” “Does that mean that God and I are one?” said the monk? Father Abbot said, “No one….not two.” “How can that be?” said the perplexed monk. The Abbot looked at him and said, “The ocean and its wave, the singer and his song, the candle flame and its light…..not one, not two.”

And the point is that all our little categories and distinctions fall short as we draw near to God. Even the simply defined 2 versus 1. As humans, in our experience we must distinguish. For as limited beings we can only see pieces at a time. But our distinctions are ultimately a sort of analogy. Things also have a unity we cannot deny. Why? God is love, and Love made and infuses all things.

A chair, a monkey, a water molecule, sound, light, and geometry, ultimately have more in common than they have apart. Distinctions for us are a kind of necessary evil. But we ought remember, at the end of the day, that Christ hold all creation together in himself. And that at the end, there will be, in the words of St. Augustine: Unus Christus, amans seipsum. (One Christ, loving himself).

This is not pantheism. For God transcends all he has made. He is bigger than all this. But he unites all this. The Grand unified theory is simply this: God is love. Love is the answer to the ultimate why and how of all things.

Now the video. Behold the fingerprints of God’s love.

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When you Break Big Laws, You Get Small Laws. A Meditation on a Teaching By Chesterton

061313GK Chesterton once observed that “When you break the big laws you do not get freedom. You do not even get anarchy. You get small laws.” (Daily News, July 29, 1905).

Yes, small laws, lots of small laws. Trifling and irritating small laws that regulate every human interaction and transaction. It is death by a thousand cuts. And thus, when we as a society set aside the bigger picture of, say, respecting life, of mutual respect and consideration for the common good, we get ten thousand laws.

As of 2012 there were just over 160,000 pages of law and rules from the feds alone in the Federal Code and elsewhere. States and localities have likely doubled that. Even legal specialists can’t keep up. The tax code is incomprehensible, even the Secretary of the Treasury cannot file an accurate return. The nanny State only adds to the problem: enter Mayor Bloomberg, and his “law” forbidding the sale of soft drinks larger than 16 oz.

But the bottom line is, if we neglect the bigger laws;  if we neglect the biblical moral vision that insists on moderation, condemns greed and excess, prescribes sexual responsibility, faithfulness to commitments made, truthfulness, respect for the goods of another, obedience to lawful authority, and commands a reverential acknowledgement of God, and a holy fear for the consequences of unrepented moral turpitude; if we neglect that, this is what you get: a huge legal code regulating marriage, divorce, property rights, child support, alimony, child protection, family violence, “hate” speech, noise ordinances, public drunkenness, debt management, bankruptcy, liability, and on and on….

Frankly, an out of control Federal Legislature reflects our more personal and local tendency to be out of control and on moral vacation. Ignoring the big picture and the moral vision that used to be given us by the Scriptures, natural law, common sense and mutual respect, has now given way to an endless proliferation of small laws that regulate even when you can run your lawn mower.

I also want to note a couple of what I would call corollaries to Chesterton’s insight.

First, in failing to fear the Lord we seem to fear everything else. In our culture, fear is an industry. We are to fear crime, fear for every possible health issue, we fear infertility AND pregnancy, we fear economic setbacks, climate change, and even ordinary weather and storms. We fear asteroids and any number of other disaster scenarios. We fear asbestos and all sorts of other environmental threats. We fear that the “other party” will utterly end life in America as we know it if their candidate wins…., and on an on it goes.

Today there was an absurd illustration of the fear mongering here on the East Coast. This morning my clock radio came on with urgent news of a line of thunder storms coming in from the West. We were told to be afraid, to be VERY afraid. We were told, there could actually be high winds, hail, and heavy rain! Maybe even a tornado. Now of course such storms are a regular feature on the East Coast in Summer, and happen even dozens of times in the course of June, July and August. And yes, even occasionally a tornado is in the mix.

But honestly the absurdity of listening to a reporter telling us how to hunker down in our bathtub or other interior room was too much, and was topped only by the announcement of the Federal Government that workers could stay home and telecommute due to the coming thunderstorms.

Yes, that is right, the Federal Government advised workers to stay home because of thunderstorms. And by the way, it did rain, and we did survive. There were a few downed trees, and scattered power outages. Someone saw a twister north of DC too. Welcome to summer in Washington.

How have we come to the point that we can be baited to fear about ordinary weather? Actually it is not hard. Just abandon a proper and holy fear of God, and pretty soon you fear everyone and everything else.

It is a corollary to Chesterton’s  remark on Law above: Stop obeying big laws and you get lots of little laws. The corollary is, Stop fearing God, and you start fearing everything else.

I would like to recall that God has a better plan. In effect he counsels that we develop a Holy Fear of Him, and then we don’t need to fear anyone or anything else. The Apostles, when told to fear what the temple leaders could do to them responded respectfully, “We must obey God rather than men.” Life gets a lot simpler when we report to one ultimate authority.

And Holy Fear leads to trust, and trust abates a lot of lesser fears. When my focus is on God and the good things waiting for me in heaven, I am less fearful of property loss, whether or not I get the promotion, less fearful of health and even death. I fear and trust the Lord. Whatever happens, God wills it and will see me through it. All things work together for good to those that Love and trust the Lord and are called according to his purposes.”

While the believer is not called to fool-hardy actions, neither is fear easily incited in him or her. The fear of the Lord ushers in a serenity that is not easily disturbed by the threats of human beings or by silly fears incited by a media trying to sell ads and to rivet us to the TV in fear.

Thus, fear the Lord and other fears largely diminish and go away. But fail to fear the Lord and the result is not no fear, it is ten thousand little fears and vulnerability to endless manipulation through fear.

And Second and related corollary is related to our obsession with physical health. The modern secular world celebrates a kind of “liberation” from: concerns about the soul, a sense of guilt, and concerns for the effects of sin and so forth.

But what happens when the soul is neglected is not a liberation from concerns, guilt or the effects of sin at all. Rather, to neglect the bigger and lasting concern about the soul, is to receive ten thousand concerns about the body: This causes cancer, that makes you fat, this has cholesterol, watch your pressure, don’t eat salt, drink more water, eat more fiber, exercise! And even the normal effects of aging are to be feared: hot flashes, “Low-T” gray hair… And even normal functions such as fertility are feared and must be medicated away. Pregnancy is treated as a potentially deadly condition. Women must be sterilized, others rush to remove their breasts, BEFORE cancer ever touches them.

Gad zooks! We have never lived so long and been so healthy, and yet, we have never been so anxious about our health. Never mind that our body is going to decline and die anyway no matter what we do.

There is a proper love and concern we should have for our body, this is part of a well-ordered self love. But when we do not integrate and balance our love for our body with our love for our soul, things go out of order and, as experience shows, we do not have less concerns but more. And those concerns are ultimately futile, for the body will die anyway.

Thus the corollary to Chesterton’s rule is When you set aside the most critical concerns necessary for the soul, you do not get fewer concerns. You get lots of small concerns that pile up unreasonably. You do not get less guilt, you get more of it wherein the list of bad or forbidden foods grows ever longer, as does the list of duties regarding exercise, dietary supplements, medicines and so forth. There are not less dos and don’ts, there are far more.

Yes, welcome to the modern world of “out of wack” and out of balance notions. When you break the big laws you do not get freedom. You do not even get anarchy. You get small laws.” It is death by a thousand cuts.

This video reminds that it is better to have a salutary fear of death and judgment than most of the stuff we get worked up about:

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Somebody is praying for you! Priests and the ministry of prayer

061213Ordination season is upon us now and a new group of men are being ordained all over the country. Never forget how necessary priests are not just in the obvious and external ways but also in more hidden ways.

Holy Order – As priests we are ordained to Holy Orders. Thus, among the many ways we can understand the ministry of the ordained clergy is that we provide “holy order” by our obedience to the Bishop or Superior and by unifying the faithful under our care to the Bishop and the Church. Nothing is more egregious (and also silly) as a disobedient priest who thereby creates disorder. By our obedient link to the Bishop we help exercise a threefold office of teaching, governing and sanctifying. Priests preserve order in the Church by uniting their parishioners in the truth of the Gospel. And, like it or not, priests also unify the faithful by the charitable but clear authority of the priestly office which is meant to resolve conflicts, set directions and  observe proper limits. Unity is a very precious gift from the Lord which He, by his own design, has rooted in the Sacrament named for that very gift of Holy Order.

Sanctifying Ministry – I would like to mention only very briefly one aspect of the sanctifying ministry of the priest. Surely we sanctify the faithful in a unique way through the celebration of the Sacraments and the proclamation of God’s Word. But another way we do this, a way perhaps more hidden and ordinary, is to pray for our people. The Church both commends us to pray for the faithful under our care and also commands it.

A Ministry of Prayer – How does she command it? By the obligation to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, also known as the Breviary. Every day we priests are obligated to pray this somewhat lengthy series of prayers and to earnestly pray for the faithful and in union with the whole Church. The basic series of prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours includes: The Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, Mid Day Prayer, Evening Prayer and Night Prayer. Ideally we should pray it through out the day at each appointed hour. But, due to our busy and often unpredictable schedules many of us pray large sections of it in the morning and another part of it later in the evening.

An image: But you must know that your priests pray for you. As I hold the Breviary in my hands I often imagine I am holding the faithful of my parish in my very hands. It is my duty and privilege to pray for them, and also for the whole Church.

Someone is praying for you – I want to keep this brief (always a challenge for me) because I simply want you to know that someone is praying for you. Surely my prayers are especially for my parishioners. But you who regularly read this blog are parishioners of mine too. I pray for you each day.

I also wanted to keep this short in hopes that you might see this video which is a very touching way of depicting how priests pray for their people and their people pray for them.

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Lets Show a Little More Sophistication in Understanding Modes of Speech

In the use of language certain sophistication is necessary that appreciates the different modes of speech that are often used. A lot of communication breaks down today because many lack the sophistication necessary to understand when various modes of speech are being employed and how they are to be interpreted.

Not only does this lead to poor communication, but it also affects Biblical interpretation and also the way in which many understand Church teaching and practices.

In hopes of greater understanding of the often subtle and different modes of speech, perhaps we can review some terms and distinctions related to modes of speech.

Denotation vs. Connotation – Denotation refers to the literal, dictionary meaning of a word, usually the first meaning of word listed there. For example, the denotative meaning of the word “snake” is “any of numerous scaly, legless, often venomous reptiles of long and cylindrical body and found in most tropical as well as temperate regions.”

Connotation, on the other hand, refers to the associations that are connected to a certain word or the emotional suggestions related to that word. The connotative meanings of a word tap into the denotative meanings but also point beyond the merely literal meaning. The connotations for the word snake could include evil or danger. Thus to call snake would speak to their poisonous, predatory or dangerous tendencies. A snake connotes danger and sinister practices.

Connotation opens language to a wide variety of meanings and interpretations based on context.  Such deviations from literal meaning are called “figures of speech” or figurative language. There are many different kinds of figures of speech, such as

Simile, – A simile is a comparison between two dissimilar objects using a word like as or like to connect them. Notice that simile means something is “like” something else in certain respects. It does not mean that they are identical.

Thus, when Jesus warned against casting our pearls before swine, he is using a simile and saying that human beings can adopt certain traits associated with pigs. He is not say humans ARE pigs. Since, pigs only value what they can eat,  putting fine but inedible things before pigs mean that they will simply be trampled underfoot. And some people who rather carnal can develop the same attitude toward the pearls of “spiritual gifts” since they do not provide simple bodily pleasure. In this sense people are like (simul) pigs by having a similar trait, but Jesus is not saying they actually are pigs. And this is simile.

Metaphor,  – A metaphor is like a simile, except that a metaphor compares two dissimilar objects without using a word like as or like. If you say, “My girlfriend is an angel” you are using metaphor. But again a certain trait of an angel is being borrowed, not the full angelic reality. Even though one says, “My girlfriend is an angel” this is not a declaration that she has a complete angelic nature and is not, in fact, human.

If you say, in the words of an old song: “When I take my sugar to tea,” “sugar” here does not refer to the granular sucrose material, but to a woman. And the woman is not actual sugar. Yes, she is a “sweetie,” but possessed of female human nature.

This is metaphor: two dissimilar objects are compared or have some common trait though they are distinct.

In the Bible some err in understanding certain texts because they miss the metaphor. Thus, in Genesis when there is reference to a race of “giants” (Gen 6:1-4), one need not necessarily take this as a literal declaration that there used to be people on the planet who were over ten feet tall. For example, of the generation of priests in the 1940s and 1950s I might say, “They were real giants!” Or I might speak of that era as the “age of the giants.” But I do not refer to their physical stature. But rather to their influence and power. It is a metaphor, a figure of speech.

And thus in biblical texts we ought to consider that the use of metaphor may explain certain things like giants. It is not always clear when metaphor is being used, but reading everything in an unvarying literalistic way, many yield poor results, and thus the Church permits recourse to the possibility and likelihood of metaphor in many cases.

Personification –  One may describe an inanimate object, animal, or abstraction with human qualities and characteristics, as though it were a person this is personification.

For example, I call my older model Crown Victoria car, “Betty Grable” as a term of affection, for its stately but older quality, and because I got it from my parents after their death. And Betty Grable speaks to their generation. My Secretary calls her call “Betty Boop” because it is a spunky and sportier car, with a lot of pizzaz.

Hyperbole (sometimes called overstatement) – occurs when you exaggerate a point that you are trying to make for emphasis. If you say, “There must have been a million people there,” you are using hyperbole. There were not likely an exact million in attendance, but the point is there were a lot of people.

When Jesus says, if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out (e.g. Matt 5), He is not giving a command that we mutilate ourselves. He is using an exaggeration that emphasizes we ought to be serious about sin and removing its causes, and that it is more serious to sin that to lose an eye.

Understatement –  is related to hyperbole in that understatement is the opposite of hyperbole: Understatement implies more than is actually stated. Let’s say an event was standing room only, and when someone asks you if there were many people there, you say, “Oh yes, there were a few people there.”

Paradox – refers to a form a speech that provocatively goes against the common way of understanding something. Paradox seems initially to have contradictory elements, but after some reflection and contextualizing, those elements can later make sense.

For example, when Jesus says we must lose our life to preserve or save it, we are initially puzzled, since we usually do not think we can possess or preserve something we have lost. Losing money (for example) is the opposite of saving it. Thus, the saying of Jesus that we must lose in order to save is paradoxical.

But of course what he means is that we must often lose one thing to make room for something greater. We must let go of lesser and passing things to inherit greater and eternal things. And thus the context helps resolve the tension of the paradox.

A pun – is a play on word that occurs when one word is used that reminds you of another word, or words. You can, for example, use a word that looks like or sounds like another word.

For example, English-speaking Christians can play on the word Sun and Son perhaps by saying, “The women went out to the tomb very early at the rising of the son (sun).” When spoken aloud (as opposed to writing – wherein the words are spelled differently) an English speaker can play on the similar sound and thus use a creative figure of speech.

Another example of a pun occurs in the playful words of an old country song: “Ever since you hung up on me, I’m hung up on you.” In this sentence the phrase “hung up” is being used playfully in two very different senses. One puns by playfully interposing two different senses in the same sentence.

Verbal Irony – Irony involves a contradiction. Being ironic means that you say something but mean the opposite to what you say.

For example, suppose some one tells me that he had a big repair bill on something and I say, “Well, aren’t you lucky!” I mean exactly the opposite of what I actually say.

Or suppose you are on a basketball court and one player makes a great shot, and the other players say (in admiration) “He’s bad!” Which actually means he is good!

In John’s gospel there are many verses dripping with irony. For example, the man born blind comes to see who Jesus is, while the Pharisees who could see, will not recognize Jesus. This causes Jesus to say, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Later in John the Temple leaders, who are unjustly seeking to kill the Son of God will not come into the Praetorium (governor’s house) because they do not want to sin by incurring ritual impurity before the Sabbath. John records this fact with an almost derisive irony.

Frankly there are dozens of other modes of speech and rhetorical devices that enter into human speech and writing.

Too many today have lost touch with the subtlety of human language and this causes error, tension, misunderstanding, and the taking of offense when none is intended. On the Internet forum misunderstanding is often magnified, since the helpful signals of facial expression and tone of voice are missing. I have often written something in a light-hearted and jocose way, only to be interpreted as being deadly serious by some who also take offense where I mean none.

Thus, more than ever, we do well to remember that speech has modes, and employs a lot of subtle and sophisticated devices.

So how about a little sophistication from us all who read? How about also giving the benefit of the doubt to the writer, and presuming more often a benign interpretation of the words before rushing to extreme conclusion.

Just sayin…. (by which I really mean I am just writing, and also by which I don’t mean say I am JUST writing, for I am also thinking… )

Boy! (an interjective, personification of an imaginary interlocutor) I think I’d just better quit (by which I really just mean to stop temporarily) while I’m ahead (a spatial allusion not to be literally interpreted). Do you get my drift?