Consider the following scenario. You are crossing the street with a friend and suddenly as if out of nowhere a large truck is bearing down on you both. Your friend sees it coming and pushes you out of the way but takes the full force of the hit himself. Coming to your senses you run to your friend who lies dying in the road. In grief you lament his imminent death and thank him for saving your life. You say, “What can I ever do to thank you for what you have done?!” And he says, with his dying breath, “Please go to Church and remember me at the altar every Sunday.” ….Would you do it? …..Of course you would! This is the final wish of a dying friend who saved your life.
Well, isn’t this what Jesus did? Just before he died for us he left us a last request: “Do this in remembrance of Me.” Do what? you might say. Here is Jesus request in context: The setting is the Last Supper that Jesus had with his disciples on the last evening before he died. As he sat at table with them he said, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer…” Then he took the bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which will be given for you; do this in memory of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which will be shed for you. So here is what we are to do in memory of Him: celebrate the Holy Mass, receive Holy Communion! It seems so little and yet so many have drifted away from this last request. It must have been important to Jesus since it was his final request.
So here is a powerful to get to Mass each Sunday: to fulfill the final wish of a dying friend, a dying Savior and Lord who saved your life, who died in your place: “Do this in memory of me.” The Book of Psalms also says it so well: “What return (what thanks) can I ever give the Lord for all the good he has done for me?! The cup of salvation I will take up, and I will call on the name of the Lord.” (Ps 116:13) What a beautiful line to remember as you see the priest lift up the Chalice at every mass and remember the final wish of a dying friend.
Consider sharing this sort of reflection with those who have drifted away from attending Mass. If attending Mass and receiving Holy Communion is understood as the final wish of a dying friend then to fail to do so is seen as a much more personal neglect of a a very profound and meaningful request. Missing Mass isn’t just the infraction of some abstract law, it is a personal matter. It is to refuse the final wish of a dying friend.
The Diagnosis is in. The situation looks grave. From the test results, we’ve got some serious stuff wrong with us! You might say we’ve got a few issues! Yes, I’ve got your spiritual “medical chart” and mine open and I’m looking at the test results and the numbers don’t look good. We’ve tested positive for a number of things: It says we can be dishonest, egotistical, undisciplined, weak, immature, arrogant, self-centered, pompous, insincere, unchaste, grasping, judgmental, inpatient, and shallow. It looks like we’ve tested positive for being inconsistent, unfaithful, immoral, ungrateful, disobedient, selfish, lukewarm, slothful, unloving, uncommitted, and just plain sinful. Further tests indicate the presence of fear, indifference, contempt, impurity, hatred, laziness, cowardice, and anger. Likewise, greed, jealousy, revenge fullness, disobedience, hardheartedness, pride, envy, stinginess, selfishness, pettiness, spite, self-indulgence, lust, careless neglect, and prejudice. Our “spiritual” medical history indicates that we have sinned against justice, modesty, purity, and the truth. We have committed sins against the human person, the children and the young, innocent and the trusting, the frail and elderly, the unborn in infants, weak and powerless, immigrants and strangers, and those who are disadvantaged. A set of further test results indicates that we have failed to give witness to Christ, we have failed to join our will to God or give good example to others. We have failed to seek God above all things, to act justly you show mercy, and to repent of our sins. We’ve failed to obey the commandments and curb our earthly desires. We have failed to lead a holy life and to speak the truth. We have failed to pray for others and assist those in need; neither have we consoled the grieving.
Well, you can see that we’re kind of in bad shape. You might say that I’m exaggerating but I suspect, if you’re honest, that you like me have committed many of these sins if not most of them. Without a lot of grace and mercy we are in very bad shape! The diagnosis is dire.
But here’s the good news: the doctor is in! Jesus! Likewise, the doctor has a cure! Jesus refers us to the Physician’s Desk Reference (PDR)- Spiritual Edition (also called the Holy Book) for a cure to this condition. It is to be found in section Acts 2.42:
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. (Acts 2:42)
The cure is thus ancient and well attested and consists of a consistent regime of four basic medicines which must be taken as the text says “Devotedly”:
The Apostles’ Teaching– This medicine supplies daily doses of Scripture which helps to cleanse the mind of worldly thinking and to deliver remedial amounts of God-like thinking. It removes the tendency to be conformed to this world and begins a process of transformation by the renewing of the mind (Rom 12:4). While the term “apostles teaching” is here used, this is medicine is inclusive of all Sacred Scripture of which the Apostles’ teaching is the pinnacle. Studying carefully another manual known as the Catechism also delivers healthy doses of Scripture (aka the Apostles Teaching).
The Fellowship– This gathering or fellowship is also referred to as “The Church” and refers to the prescribed medicine of gathering frequently with the Church for instruction, edification, encouragement, necessary rebuke, exposure to truth, helpful friendships and proper worship of God known as the “Liturgy”. The regular and necessary dosage is once per week. Taking more is advantageous but missing the necessary weekly dose leads to a deadly condition known as “mortal sin.”
The Breaking of the Bread– Also known as Holy Communion. This medicine supplies necessary nourishment to sustain the Christian on the journey across the desert of this life to the Promised Land of Heaven. Regular reception helps ensure being raised up on the last day to eternal life (Jn 6:54). Neglect of this medicine leads to spiritual death which the PDR – Spiritual Edition refers to as “having no life in you” (Jn 6:53). While this medicine is called the “breaking of the bread” it actually refers to a series of seven medicines known as the “sacraments” of which Holy Communion is the greatest. Some medicines in this series are taken but once, others may require on-going doses. Most notable is the medicine called “confession” wherein, through salutary conversation with a properly licensed doctor in Jesus’ practice, one is healed from the wounds of sin through the laying on of hands and the words of absolution. The usual recommended dosage of this medicine of confession is four to six times per year but more for those who wound easily.
Prayer– Regular and substantial conversation with the Doctor (aka Jesus) is essential for healing. Herein symptoms are discussed and solutions are proposed. Given the grave condition, these visits must be daily. Failure to take this medicine daily leads to a serious complex known as “temptation” (cf Mk 14:38) which leads the patient to further wounding and death-directed actions. The medicine of prayer comes in a variety of forms: meditation, devotional reading of Scripture, contemplation, reading the lives of the saints and devotions such as the rosary, and novenas.
Well there it is. We need help; we’ve got stuff going on that will kill us eternally. But Jesus has a hospital: the Church, and Medicine: the Sacraments. Likewise there is spiritual “medical” advice available, the Word of God, sermons, the teachings of the Church and the presence of encouraging doctors and nurses such as the priests, religious, and fellow Catholics. Whether you and like to admit it or not we need regular check-ups and serious medicine. And Jesus is guiding his Church to give skillful advice and distribute powerful medicine. Do you think of the sacraments that way? Many simply think of them as rituals but the truth is they are powerful medicine. I’m a witness. After twenty-five years of seeing the doctor, Jesus and letting him minister to me through Sacraments, the Word and his Church a wonderful change has come over me. I’m not what I want to be but I’m not what I used to be.
The doctor is in and you know you need him! Reach out for him what ever your struggles. He’s waiting to minister to you especially in the liturgy and the sacraments. You can’t do it alone. Join us every Sunday at the “holy hospital”, the Church. The Doctor is in!
For many people the Sacrament of Confession is experienced in a rather perfunctory way. Upon preparing to go to confession many are content to look at some matters pertaining to external behavior: “I got angry with my children….I had lustful thoughts…. I was distracted in prayer, or I didn’t pray as much as I should…. I gossiped….and so forth. While the confession of these sorts of things is good and proper it also remains true that, for confession to really heal, it is necessary to go deeper. It is necessary to examine the deeper drives and motives of sin; to examine not only what I have done, by to ponder why.
In the Gospel for today’s Mass, Jesus invites us to go a little deeper than a mere examination of outward behavior. He begins with a critique of Jewish purity codes such as the “Kosher” diet and he says:
Hear me, all of you, and understand. Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile….Do you not realize that everything that goes into a person from outside cannot defile, since it enters not the heart but the stomach and passes out into the latrine?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) (Mat 7:16-17)
The Jews of Jesus time were very meticulous in matters of external purity. The notion of ritual purity and external observances was deeply ingrained. This is not bad in itself but it runs the danger of short-circuiting deeper introspection. It is possible to think I am a hero because I stay away from unclean foods and do other things like pay my tithes but then (on account of my hero status) not look at how I treat others with contempt or have an unforgiving attitude etc. The ritual observance is not wrong, but our carnal nature can twist it and make it deadly by turning holiness into perfunctory external observance.
Already Jewish spirituality cautioned against this possibility with the famous utterance by Moses: Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer (Deut 10:16). Jesus therefore taps into this traditional caution and warns that holiness is far more than ritual observance or merely external behavior.
And then Jesus give us the key to a good confession in these words from today’s Gospel:
But what comes out of the man, that is what defiles him. From within the man, from his heart, come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly. All these evils come from within and they defile. (Mat 7:2-23).
Notice how Jesus focuses on the deeper inner drives that give rise to sin. It is from the heart of man and his evil and errant thoughts that bad behavior issues forth. It is not enough to say, “I got angry.” Rather we ought to ask additionally: “what is it that causes my anger?” What is there in my heart and in my mind that give rise to anger? Is is fear? Well, then, why am I afraid? Am I afraid because I do not trust God? Am I afraid because I am ego-centric and when the whole world does not think as I do or have the priorities I do, do I get afraid? Am I afraid because I am a control freak and have to have everything go just as I planned exactly? If it does not go exactly as I planned do I then get fearful and my fear issues forth in anger? ….Why AM I angry? What causes it?
The same can be said for every other sin I commit. Why is it that I do these things? What are the drives and sinful attitudes that give rise to sinful behavior? The drives and bad thoughts are deep within that then give rise to the bad behavior I need to confess.
Jesus teaches us to go deeper, into the heart and mind, to discover what causes our sinful behavior. And this leads us to the recipe for a good confession, for a confession that moves from From perfunctory penitence to compelling and transformative Confession. What are the basic steps?
Observe your sinful behavior but don’t stop there. See it as a symptom of something deeper.
Once you have observed WHAT you do, ask, “Why?” Let the Holy Spirit show you the deeper drives that give rise to sinful behavior. To this end it is also helpful to avail yourself of teaching on the seven deadly sins: Pride, anger, lust, greed, gluttony, envy, and sloth. There are a few good resources out there I might recommend to your attention. Peter Kreeft wrote a good book on the subject: Back to Virtue. Fr. Robert Barron has also issued a DVD on the subject: The Seven Deadly Sins . In addition to the seven deadly sins there are innumerable attitudes that give rise to sin; things like: fear, indifference, laziness, contempt, impurity, hated, malice, cowardice, jealously, revenge, disobedience, hard-heartedness, stinginess, selfishness, pettiness, spite, neglect, prejudice, arrogance, self-centeredness, pomposity, insincerity, impatience, infidelity, ingratitude, disobedience….and on and on. Focus on these deeper drives and attitudes for it is they that give rise to our bad behavior. Learn to name them. Learn to know their moves and tactics. “AH,” but you say, “There is so much to remember here!” Well I am going to help you by offering you a resource I have compile myself from various sources. It is call the Litany of Penance and Reparation. You can get it by clicking on the title. It is a very through listing (if I do say myself) of the deeper drives and sinful attitude that give rise to sinful behavior. Pray it carefully before your confession and you will find help to honor Jesus’ instruction to go deeper and look into the heart and mind to discover the deepest drives that cause bad behavior.
Having prepared in this way, go to confession and confess not only bad behaviors (which are the symptoms) but also articulate these deeper drives and attitudes. Name them! See them for what they are thus learn their moves.
Repeat this process frequently through the year and thus gain self knowledge and self mastery through the years. Confession will break open for it will no longer be a perfunctory laundry list of merely external behaviors. Confession will become a compelling and transformative sacrament that breaks the bondage of sin by the power of God’s grace.
Many years ago Simon and Garfunkel sang a song about a “Bridge Over Troubled Waters.” What a blessing it would be to find a bridge over troubled waters! But there is another song, an old spiritual that says something quite different, something far less appealing, something calling for courage. The song says, “Wade in the water children! God’s gonna trouble the water!”
What strange advice! And yet it is rooted in deep biblical tradition, and like so many biblical themes it is rich in paradox. Truth be told, God often troubled the water in biblical times and his troubling of the water usually evoked fear and bewilderment. It challenged God’s people to step out in faith and trust, to wade into troubled waters. And guess what? There was always a blessing on the other shore. But first you had to wade in, first you had to trust God.
And there is this additional feature, (almost as though God were giving us something with which to float to safety). God doesn’t just bring the blessing through troubled waters, but rather through wood and water. It is not water only, but wood and water. Maybe you know where I am going with this but for now just wade in the water with Jesus on this the feast of his Baptism watch how wood and water work wonders!
First let’s consider some of the following Biblical examples of this tradition of wood and troubled waters bringing blessing.
Cleansing Flood– One of the most terrifying stories of the ancient world is the flood. The world had grown so wicked and sin so multiplied that God concluded he must literlly wash it clean. And you think its bad now! God went to a man named Noah and told him that He was going to trouble the waters and that Noah had to be ready. Build an Ark of Gopher wood Noah! Now this was not a small project. The Ark was the length of one and a half football fields (150 yards), it was 75 feet wide and 45 feet tall. Now you have to really trust God to do all that work. And then gather the animals two pairs of unclean animals, 7 pairs of clean animals. More trust more time and lots of wood. But then God troubled the waters and the waters of the flood made an end of wickedness and a new beginning of goodness. From troubled waters came a blessing. But first Noah had to wade on in. Through the wood of the ark and water God worked wonders! (cf Gen 6-9)
Trouble at the Red Sea– Pharaoh had relented and the people were leaving Egypt for the Promised Land. But fickle Pharaoh has once again changed his mind and pursues them. With the Red Sea before them and Pharaoh behind them the people were struck with fear. But God would win through for them. How? By troubling the waters: God told Moses to take up the wooden staff and to trouble the waters with these words: And you lift up your staff and with hand outstretched over the sea, split the sea in two… So Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. (Ex 14:16, 21) Now you and I know the end of the story but the people that day did not. With water like two walls on either side they had to go forth, they had to wade, if you will, in the waters. They had to trust God that the waters would hold. And God brought them through and they went out of slavery and into freedom. Are you noticing a pattern? God troubles the water and there is a blessing that follows. But you gotta wade, you gotta trust that with God, wood and water work wonders. The wooden staff and troubled waters bring forth freedom.
Trouble in the Desert – It is a fine thing to be free but thirst has a way of making itself known. When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” And he cried to the LORD; and the LORD showed him a tree, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet (Ex 15:23) So once again, God troubled the waters, called the people to trust and there came forth blessing! And God did it through wood and water. The wood of the tree and the troubled waters of that spring brought the blessing of survival.
More Trouble in the Desert! But yet again as they journeyed further more thirst. And God said to Moses: Go over in front of the people holding in your hand as you go the staff with which you struck the sea, …Strike the rock and the water will flow from it for the people to drink. (Ex 17:5-6). From troubled waters came forth blessing. With God, wood and water work wonders. The wood of the staff troubled those waters and they came forth with the blessing that preserved life in the desert. St. Paul would later say that they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. (1 Cor 10:4)
At the River Jordan– After forty years of wandering in the desert the Israelites are finally ready to enter the promised land. But the Jordan is in flood stage, impossible to cross. But once again God had a plan and was going to trouble those waters. He instructed Joshua to have the priests place the ark on their shoulders and wade in the water. Now the Ark was a box made of Acacia wood and covered in gold. In it were the tables of the Law, the staff of Aaron and a ciborium of the manna. The also knew and believed that the very presence of God was carried in that ancient wooden box, even as in our tabernacles today: And when those who bore the ark had come to the Jordan, and the feet of the priests bearing the ark were dipped in the brink of the water the waters coming down from above stood and rose up in a heap far off people passed over opposite Jericho (Joshua 3:15) So again, God troubled the waters and the promised Land was reached. And how did God do it? Wood and water work wonders! The wooden box of the ark troubled the waters and they parted bringing the blessing of the promised land.
OK, we’re almost done. Today is the Baptism of the Lord. Jesus wades in the water. But the Baptism of John can’t bring blessing it can only symbolize repentance and point to blessing. Why can’t it bring blessing? No wood, at least not yet. But Jesus whom Isaiah called a “shoot from the stump of Jesse” (Is 11:1) will soon enough take up an old rugged wooden cross and and trouble the waters of his own body and soul and from those troubled waters flowing from his wounded side on the wood of the cross will come forth the greatest blessings of all: salvation, cleansing, holiness, adoption, membership in the Body of Christ, a heavenly inheritance, a transformed life, Grace upon Grace and the very gift of the Holy Spirit. Listen to how John describes the troubled waters of baptism coming forth from the side of Christ:
When [the soldiers] came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,”and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.” (John 19:33-37)
John wants to make sure you know that it wasn’t only blood that came from his side but also water. And that water is the water of our baptism and the giving the Holy Spirit (cf John 7:37-39) And what water was more troubled than these waters? Who ever suffered more than Jesus? And these waters bring blessing because they are troubled and because of the wood of the cross. These waters still flow in your baptism and mine. When we were baptized, God troubled the waters of the font and they brought forth blessing by the power of the cross. You see, wood and water work wonders. So wade in the water Children, (don’t build a bridge over it!) God’s gonna trouble the waters! And by the wood of the cross he’ll see you through.
In many ways the Church is like a hospital and priests are like doctors. Consider for a moment the “double path” that medical doctors and nurses must walk.
On the hand they must have a sober understanding of disease and how serious it can be. They cannot minimize or simply dismiss it. They must learn to identify its causes and symptoms and address them forthrightly. They must often speak frankly to their patients about health related issues. A great deal of disease is behavior related. Hence doctors must prophetically and clearly call their patients and the public in general to healthy living. They must insist that we avoid excesses of certain foods, that we eat good foods and exercise regularly. They must regularly teach us that smoking, excessive drinking, obesity and the like may well kill us. If we need medicine they insist that we take it regularly. We expect all this of them even if we don’t always like to be reminded of such things. But in the end a good doctor will be firm, clear and insistent about disease, its dangers, its causes and its cures. Anything less would be a kind of malpractice.
On the other hand, a doctor must be willing to work with sick and diseased people. They must do this with patience and compassion. Many of their patients struggle to implement all the best practices to improve their health. Despite all the prophetic utterances of doctors and the medical community many people still struggle to eat well and eat less. They have a hard time drinking moderately and ending smoking habits. Healthy foods seem less appealing than fattening ones, exercise seems so hard to do. But the good doctors will not abandon patients. They continue to treat their diseases and to exhort them to at least to make small changes that will improve things. They offer medicines to help counteract bad tendencies and the cumulative effects of the past. They patiently work to bring healing to us, many of whom, repeatedly struggle to follow their advice. But they do it anyway.
Portrait – Just about everything said above applies to priests as well. Priests too need to be sober about sin and its effects. They have to exhort us stay away from unhealthy and bad behaviors that ruin our spiritual and moral lives and cause us to be in poor spiritual health. They must insist that we take the medicine of the sacraments, scripture, prayer and repentance. But priests must also be willing to be around spiritually sick people who struggle to get it all together and make the necessary changes. They have to patiently but persistently help people to implement small changes that add up to better spiritual health. They must work to bring us healing even if their patients are a bit stiff necked.
Problem – But what is interesting is how the modern world seems increasingly to insist that priests and the Church should NOT exhibit the qualities of Number 1 above. Objections are often raised by many when the Church and her priests soberly warn us of the disease of sin and how serious it can be. How dare the priest even call certain things “sin.” And if the priest warn of spiritually unhealthy behaviors he is often denounced as “judgmental.” Oh, perhaps he’ll be allowed to gently suggest we pray more, and try to be “more loving.” But God forbid that he should speak frankly about bad behaviors such as fornication, abortion and missing Mass and tell us that they are wrong. Even worse if he should warn us that such things can spiritually kill us and land us in hell! No indeed many people want their priest to engage in a kind of spiritual malpractice by tacitly approving their bad behavior and replacing any warnings with affirmations and reassurances. And sadly, some priests have slipped into this kind of gentle affirmation mode.
Proper Practice – But as physicians of the soul priests have to do the spiritual equivalent of BOTH 1 and 2 above. The world would rightfully question a medical doctor who just shrugged in the face of serious illness and told his patients they were fine, who just told them jokes and made them feel good but still sent them home with a serious cancer growing in their body. The world would scorn a medical doctor who didn’t feel comfortable talking about disease because it might upset his patients; who didn’t want to upset them by insisting that they must take their medicine. What a poor doctor! And yet many insist that priests act in just this way when it comes to the soul.
I hope you can see that priests have to do both 1 and 2 above. It is true, no one likes a grouchy or overly negative doctor. It is the same with priests. We are to speak the truth in love, with compassion but also with clarity. We can do nothing less for otherwise it amount to a spiritual malpractice.
Prescription – So as a priest I have this to say: Stay away from abd and excessive behaviors. They might kill you spiritually! Take your medicine: the Eucharist, regular confession, daily prayer and scripture! Take it or you will die! Get proper exercise through plenty of good deeds, prayer and acts of kindness. And if you fall? Keep coming back. We’ve got healing medicine here for you. You may not even know how you are going to stop but keep coming back and let the Lord minister to you through the Church. I’ll see you at your next appointment (this Sunday!).
Two weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to make a pilgrimage to Rome with one of our parishes. The trip struck me in many different ways, two that I’ll blog about here.
The first was the awe-inspiring beauty of the churches there. The picture to the right is just one of the many pictures I took in Rome…my picture-taking slowed after the first three days because there was just too much beauty to take it!
Additional, after a while many of the churches seemed more like museums. About half the churches did not have the Blessed Sacrament present, most buzzed with tourists doing their best to keep quiet, and amid the gilded enormity of the spaces, it was hard to find an intimate space in which to pray.
Obviously I don’t say this to criticize these artistic masterpieces or their preservation in any way. I just think that I was expecting to be struck in a more reverent, spiritual way by these buildings.
Surprisingly this “disappointment” made me appreciate our little chapel here at the Central Pastoral Administration building of the Archdiocese. Anyone who has heard me talk about this chapel knows how little I care for its design. Picture a big empty box, plain brick walls, angular color-block stained-glass windows, spotty lighting, grayish carpet, and our lovely 70s-era avocado-green leather kneelers.
But ya know what? Even in that artless room, I feel closer to Him than I did standing in the exquisite St. Paul Outside the Wall. Why? Because Jesus is present in the Blessed Sacrament! And in the afternoons when I go to pray, I know He is there for me…regardless of how ugly the kneelers are.
My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me.
I adore you with profound reverence; I ask you for pardon of my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful.
My Mother Immaculate, Saint Joseph my father and lord, my Guardian Angel intercede for me.
-Handbook of Prayers
In the video below, Bishop Thomas Tobin speaks well enough for himself on the decision to advise Congressman Patrick Kennedy not to receive Holy Communion. My remarks are thus brief. I want only to call your attention to a powerful reminder given by Bishop Tobin. About mid way through the interview he states simply but clearly that if a person’s career, job or position conflicts with their faith they should leave that career, job or position. In a world that esteems such things above almost anything else, this is an earth-shaking summons: faith is more important than any worldly blessing. This insistence comports well with what Jesus says clearly in Scripture:
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. (Matt 6:24)
Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matt 10:37-39)
Life in this world and faith are often in conflict and difficult choices are required of us. If Mr. Kennedy asserts (wrongly I think) that he cannot reconcile his faith in the matter of abortion to public policy, then he should choose his faith and leave the Congress. What is he first? A congressman or a Christian? It seems clear enough to me that he could remain a congressman if he simply refused to promote abortion rights and fund them. But since he (not the Church) says that as congressman he CANNOT vote pro-life, then Bishop Tobin, accepting the conflict that Kennedy insists he has, has invited him to choose.
It was almost 15 years ago. I was At Old St. Mary’s here in D.C. celebrating Mass in the Latin (Extraordinary Form). It was a solemn high Mass. I don’t suppose I thought it any different than most Sunday’s but something quite amazing was about to happen.
As you may know the ancient Latin Mass is celebrated “ad orientem” (towards the Liturgical East). Priest and people all face one direction. What this means practically for the celebrant is that the people are behind him. It was time for the consecration. The priest is directed to bow low, his forearms on the altar table the host between his fingers. As directed I said the venerable words of Consecration in a low but distinct voice, Hoc est enim Corpus meum (For this is my Body). The bells rang as I genuflected, but behind me a disturbance of some sort, a shaking or rustling in the front pews behind me to my right. And then a moaning or grumbling. What was that? It did not really sound human, more like the grumbling of a large animal such as a boar or a bear, along with a plaintive moan that did not seem human. I elevated the host and wondered, “What was that?” Then silence. I could not turn to look easily for that is awkward for the celebrant in the ancient Latin Mass. But still I thought, What was that?
But it was time for the consecration of the Chalice. Again, bowing low and pronouncing clearly and distinctly but in a low voice: Hic est enim calix sanguinis mei, novi et æterni testamenti; mysterium fidei; qui pro vobis et pro multis effundetur in remissionem pecatorum. Haec quotiescumque feceritis in mei memoriam facietis (for this is the cup of my Blood, of the new and eternal covenant; the mystery of faith; which will for the many be shed unto the remission of sins. When so ever you do this, you do it in my memory). But then, I heard another sound this time an undeniable moan and then a shriek as some one cried out: “Leave me alone Jesus! Why do you torture me!” Suddenly a scuffling as some one ran out with the groaning sound of having been injured. The back doors swung open, then closed. Then silence.
I could not turn to look for I was raising the Chalice high over my head. But I knew in an instant that some poor demon-tormented soul had encountered Christ in the Eucharistic and could not endure his real presence displayed for all to see. And the words of Scripture occurred to me: Even Demons believe and tremble (James 2:19).
But just as James used those words to rebuke the weak faith of his flock I too had to repent. Way was a demon-troubled man more aware of the true presence and astonished by it than me? He was moved in the negative sense to run. Why was I not more moved in a positive and comparable way? What of the other believers in the pews? I don’t doubt that any of us believed intellectually in the true presence. But there is something very different and far more wonderful in being moved to the depth of your soul! It is so easy for us to be sleepy in the presence of the Divine, forgetful of the miraculous and awesome Presence available to us.
But let the record show that one day, almost 15 years ago, it was made quite plain to me that I held in my hands the Lord of Glory, the King of heaven and earth, the just Judge and Ruler of the kings of the earth. Is the Lord truly present in the Eucharist? You’d better beleive it, even demons believe that!
