Category: Prayer

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Good Grief

As a priest I walk with a lot of people in their grief. It’s a regular part of priesthood but lately it’s been hard and heavy:

  • A parishioner lost her 4 year old nephew when, climbing on a dresser, it fell over on him and he was killed
  • Another parishioner lost her 25 year old son, know well to us all, when he was shot to death.
  • Our beloved receptionist at the parish went home last Friday, apparently healthy,  and died in her sleep.
  • The mother of our previous pastor, known and loved by all in this parish died last week after a long illness.

Grief is one of the most painful and terrible emotions we can experience. It can crush us like a ton of bricks or loom over us like a dark cloud. Sometimes in sudden loss we just go numb only to discover that numbness is not a lack of feeling at all. It is a feeling, a kind of general malaise lurking in us like a low grade depression. Grief sometimes comes in cycles. One day we think we are finally getting better and suddenly we’re back in the soup, for no particular reason we can discern and we wonder what we did wrong.

Grief just has a life of its own. I often tell people that you can’t get around grief you just have to go through it and experience it to its top. It seldom lets us off the hook. It has something to say to us, something to give us.

I have often thought the gift that grief gives us is love. Many years ago Simon and Garfunkel sang the song “I am a Rock, I am an Island.” The song celebrated a loveless solitude and declared “If I never loved I never would have cried.” The final line of the song said, “And a rock feels no pain, and an Island never cries.”  Perhaps they do not. But we who love do cry and grieve. And it is precisely the grief that can deepen our love.

Many years ago (1990) my sister died in a fire. She had been mentally ill all her life and I struggled to relate to her. In many ways I feared her. When I first got news she had died in the fire I just went numb. We in the family wondered if we might be able to view her body or not. The funeral director told us we could view her privately but since her skin has been singed in the fire it was too delicate to touch her. Further, because of this,  he had not been able to adjust her face in any way. Nevertheless he thought she was presentable enough for the family to have a private viewing. We I looked upon my sister and saw her face it was very clear that she was crying when she died. For the first time in my life I wept for my sister and lamented the awful mental illness that had caused her such hardship. For the first time I understood her dignity. I guess I am sorry that it took her death for me to come to that appreciation and love of her. But that was the gift that my grief gave me, it intensified my love for my sister. I still cry from time to time when I think of that moment. It was painful but it was a gift and it remains so.

If we let it, our grief will bring us gifts in strange packages. Because of it our love and respect for those we have lost is intensified. Our longing for union with them one day again is deepened and our memories of them become more precious. It is true that the intensity of grief may lessen over the years but most of us know it never completely departs. Why should it? If we love there should always be a part of us that cannot bear to be apart from those we love. We grieve because we love and thank God we love, thank God we love.

Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try and find anything. We must simply hold out and win through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. God does not fill it, but keeps it empty so that our communion with each other may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain. Dietrich Bonhoeffer  – Letters from Prison

Here is a video that depicts grief. I hope you’ll listen closely to the words of the song for they eloquently describe grief. The video portion shows a young woman lamenting the loss of her boyfriend. She struggles to be free of her grief even to the point of tearing up one of his letters. But the problem is not on the paper, it is in her heart. The only way to respect her grief and be free of its strongest shakles is to accept the gift it brings, love undying.

I’m in the Holy Land this week until November 8th. I have scheduled blogs that will appear each day while I’m away so stay tuned! My participation in the comments however may be a little light since my time with the internet will be sporadic. Comments will be moderated by someone else on the team and I’ll participate when I can. – Msgr Pope.

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Admonition and Prayer on the Feast of All Saints

On this Feast of All Saints we commemorate men and women who lived heroically among us. The word “Saint”  comes from the Latin word Sanctus meaning “holy or set apart.” The Saints lived in the world but were not of it. Indeed if we understand the root meaning or “being set apart” we come to understand that an essential part of holiness is to live in distinction from and in contrast to the values of world. It takes great courage to stand apart from what is merely current or popular. More than ever as our world turns very secular we need strength to distinguish ourselves and to summon the world to God’s truth.

This is especially evident in the Church. Pray especially for bishops and priests. As the world continues to grow in hostility to the faith the clergy will need great zeal, conviction and courage. We must speak boldly and clearly and lead the Catholic faithful through difficult times.

Pray also for Catholics who are in public and civil authority. Many of us have been saddened at the poor example of faith that many (not all) Catholic politicians have exhibited. Pray for conversion where necessary and their courage to live their faith publicly and in a way that distinguishes them from non-believers. There are so many Catholics in public life! If they could stand together for the truth of faith and be of one accord with the Church in the moral issues of our day we would be at a far better place.

What we need is holiness in the leaders of the Church and in Catholic Lay Leaders in our world. We need saints. Consider the following admonition from the Book of Wisdom to those in Civil Authority:

Hear, therefore, kings, and understand; learn, you magistrates of the earth’s expanse! Hearken, you who are in power over the multitude and lord it over throngs of peoples! Because authority was given you by the LORD and sovereignty by the Most High, who shall probe your works and scrutinize your counsels! Because, though you were ministers of his kingdom, you judged not rightly, and did not keep the law, nor walk according to the will of God, Terribly and swiftly shall he come against you, because judgment is stern for the exalted- For the lowly may be pardoned out of mercy but the mighty shall be mightily put to the test. For the Lord of all shows no partiality, nor does he fear greatness, Because he himself made the great as well as the small, and he provides for all alike; but for those in power a rigorous scrutiny impends. To you, therefore, O princes, are my words addressed that you may learn wisdom and that you may not sin. For those who keep the holy precepts hallowed shall be found holy, and those learned in them will have ready a response. Desire therefore my words; long for them and you shall be instructed. (Wisdom 6:1-10)

And to the religious leaders of Ezekiel’s day God said:

Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock?  You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock.  You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost….’Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because my flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock,  therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. (Ezekiel 38:2-8)

And so on this Feast of All Saints, pray for saints. Saints among the clergy and among civil leaders and politicians. Pray for us to fear God God more than man, to love the truth more passing opinions, and to serve rather than be served. Pray for all in authority because we will be held to a stricter account. God is still looking for saints. Heaven isn”t filled yet. Your prayers are essential. On this feast of All Saints pray for more saints especially among the “leaders of the people.”

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (1 Tim 2:1-4)

I’m in the Holy Land this week until November 8th. I have scheduled blogs that will appear each day while I’m away so stay tuned! My participation in the comments however may be a little light since my time with the internet will be sporadic. Comments will be moderated by someone else on the team and I’ll participate when I can. – Msgr Pope.

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The Purpose of Problems

There is a mystery to suffering. But the word “mystery” in the Christian tradition does not refer to something wholly shrouded in darkness and completely unintelligible. Rather “mystery” refers to something which is partially revealed, but much of which lies hidden from plain sight. Hence, we cannot fully understand the mystery of human suffering and problems but God does give us some insights. An old Gospel Hymn says,

  • Trials dark on every hand
  • And we cannot understand
  • All the ways that God will lead us to that Blessed Promised Land
  • But he guides us with his eye
  • And we follow till be die
  • And we’ll understand it better by and by.

At times when we feel overwhelmed it helps to step back and ponder the purpose of problems. What follows is just such a pondering  that I found years ago and adapted for one of my sermons.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

  1. God uses problems to DIRECT us. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new directions and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? “Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways,”  Proverbs 20:30….Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inner most being. Another old gospel song speaks of the need of suffering to keep us focused on God:  Now the way may not be too easy. But you never said it would be. Cause when our way gets a little too easy, you know we tend to stray from thee. Sad but true, God sometimes needs to use problems to direct our steps to him.
  2. God uses problems to INSPECT us. People are like tea bags.. if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? ” Our problems have a way of helping to see what we’re really made of. I have discovered many strengths I never knew I had through trials and testings. There is a test in every testimony and trials have a way of purifying and strengthening our faith as well as inspecting our faith to see whether it is really genuine.  1 Peter 1:6 says, In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These trials are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure.
  3. God uses problems to CORRECT us. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something … health, money, a relationship by losing it. Scripture says in Psalm 119:71-72………It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees and also in Psalm 119:67 Before I was afflicted, I strayed. But now I keep you word.
  4. God uses problems to PROTECT us. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. A man was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem-but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management’s actions were eventually discovered. Scripture says in Genesis 50:20 as Joseph speaks to his brothers…You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
  5. God uses problems to PERFECT us. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Romans 5:3 says We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us they help us learn to be patient. 4And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. And 1 Peter 1:7  says You are being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold; so if your faith remains strong after being tried in the fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of his return.

This reflection does not fully explain or solve the mystery of suffering. It only opens a little window where we see a little. For now we trust in God’s providence and accept that he allows difficulties for our good. Romans 8:28  says “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.”  Notice, “all things” not just the good things. In the end all is gift. I know, it may not feel that way now, but we’ll understand it better by and by.

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Fasting for the Unborn and the Planet

footOne of the main themes in the documentary No Impact Man (which I referred to in an earlier post) is the family’s daily struggle to give up the things they are used to, do away with the luxuries, and do without the conveniences.

That got me thinking about what I could fast from during 40 Days for Life (forty days of peaceful prayer and fasting to end abortion). At the time I saw the film, I hadn’t yet decided what to fast from, but this movie gave me so many great ideas. Buying new clothes? Beef? Individually packaged treats? My car?

One thing that impressed me was that the man and his wife decided to conserve electricity by no longer using elevators. Picture walking up nine flights of stairs with three bags of groceries and a toddler, and you get the idea. So I decided that I too would refrain from using elevators for the next forty days, if not beyond.

My trip to the tenth floor is certainly strenuous, but with each step I can pray for a mother who is considering ending her child’s life by abortion and I can also feel good knowing that I’m not draining electricity from the grid. If you’d like to fast or do something that is both spiritually powerful and eco-friendly, follow the link for more ideas from the No Impact Man blog.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chron 7:14

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Why Are You Worrying? Didn’t My Lord Deliver Daniel?

We often think that worry and anxiety just happen to us. But the fact is that they result from our thoughts. Thoughts are the source of our worry. If we tend to think negatively, or to catastrophize or to focus on negative things we will grow anxious and sometimes angry. But the Bible says we ought to “dedicate ourselves to thankfulness.” (Colossians 3:21). In other words count your blessings and have an attitude of gratitude. We ought to discipline our minds every day and spend some time thanking God for what went right. As Phillipians 4:8 puts it: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

What you feed grows. Focus on negative things and sure enough anxiety and anger increase and our sense of the negative grows. Focus on positive things and blessings and guess what, we are less anxious overall and our sense of well being grows.

Try it out for 30 Days. Let me know how it goes. The video below features a classic Spiritual: Didn’t My Lord Deliver Daniel?  It list the many people God saved of old and then asks, “And why not every man?”  That’s right even you and me. It will be alright.  God may not come when you want him but He’s always right on time.

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Being in the Moment

marthandmary

Today, we celebrate St. Martha, one of the figures in Scripture with whom many of us can easily identify. Martha and her sister Mary invited Jesus to dinner and in a scene we can easily imagine—because we’ve been there—Martha points out to Jesus that while she is running around doing all of the work, Mary is just sitting around chatting. Who hasn’t had this experience? A sibling who chats with Aunt Mary, while you clear the table, a co-worker who seems always to disappear when its time for heavy lifting, a spouse who goes for a run, two hours before guests are to arrive. Surprisingly, Jesus who is all about serving, seems to reprimand Martha, saying “ Martha, Martha, you are busy about many things, and only one is necessary, Mary has chosen the better part.” http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/bible/luke/luke10.htm  At first glance, it appears that Jesus is suggesting that the contemplative life is “better” than the active life.  Saint Augustine raises this very question. In Sermon 104 he says if this is what Jesus meant than we ought to stop feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the sick and sit down and take up our prayer books. That however is not the way of the Christian. Augustine points out that Martha’s fault is not her hospitality for that is at the heart of the Christian life, but that she is so distracted by her tasks that she fails to recognize her Lord whom she loves, is here in her midst and she ought not to miss the importance of the moment. Martha is being given a taste of heaven and she’s about to miss it.

 

To Be or to Do

 

Augustine points out that heaven is sitting at the feet of the Lord, that all our work in done and our reward is to sit with the Lord and be filled with the grace of his presence. In heaven there will be no more to do, we will just be…. For many of us, this is a scary thought, we who are far more comfortable doing than being. When we try to be still, to pray contemplatively, we get so easily distracted, or we find ourselves saying, I am too busy to pray, I wish I had more time, but…. Jesus gently reminds Martha and us, that it is not good to be so distracted we fail to recognize him in the moment. It’s those moments at Mass, when we realize we are making the grocery list rather than listening to the Gospel, when we intend to leave work a little earlier so that we can get to Adoration or to Confession, but we start one more thing, when we check our blackberry first thing in the morning rather than praying.

 

Our service will only be as good as our prayer.  It’s not that the contemplative life is better is better than the active life, or that some of us are Martha’s and some are Mary’s but rather we are both. We are active contemplatives who are quick to recognize Jesus in the moment.

 

Take a moment to be contemplative in front of the screen and look at www.sacredspace.ie.


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Come Away with Me and Rest Awhile

blessed-sacrament-chapel“Come away and rest awhile” was Jesus’ invitation in Sunday’s Gospel.  A perfect invitation in the throws of summer vacations. In the spirit of “staycations,” Our Lord doesn’t literally mean “come away.” One can rest in the Lord with out leaving home!

Summer sometimes offers a bit more time for relaxation and contemplation. Fewer activities, fewer commitments at the parish or with other groups to which we belong. I promised myself that I would try to give more quality time to the Lord. I want to take time to just sit and be with the Lord. This Gospel reminded me of that promise.

Resting in the Lord

The Lord offers himself to us in the Blessed Sacrament and so one of the easiest and most delightful ways to rest with the Lord is at  Adoration and holy hour. The Lord is waiting, even expecting us, to come and sit in the quiet and beauty of the chapel or church and relish in his presence.

Inviting the Lord on vacation with you

If you are lucky enough to be taking a vacation, set some time aside to sit with the Lord on the beach, in the mountains, or in a beautiful garden and let the beauty of God’s creation fill you with his presence

At home with the Lord

readingchair1

In the spirit of a “staycation,” you need not go further than your favorite chair to pick up your bible and share a convesation with the Lord.  At www.valyermo..  you can find an excellent introduction to the ancient practice of Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina combines reading Scripture prayer and meditation.com

The interior cell

Catherine of Siena, the great lay woman and doctor of the Church who lived in the 13th century desired to spend all of her days in the presence of the  the Blessed Sacrament, believing that was how she could best show her love for the Lord. She created a “cell” in a small space underneath the steps of her house and there she spent her days in prayer.

At a certain point, she heard God say to her that if she wanted to love Him in the way He loved her, she would have to leave her cell and go into the world and serve his people. This alarmed Catherine, feeling the world was a distraction to living in the presence of the Lord with an undivided mind and heart. Faithfully, Catherine left her cell and discovered in the midst of the world, the cell was within her. She was never far from the Lord as she moved through her day with her mind and heart raised to God.

If you saw the video of Dr. Ostuto that I posted last week, this is what she means when she speaks about the trenches being an avenue to contemplation

This is the beauty of taking time to rest with the Lord. We live with the feeling of his closeness, that even in the midst of the business and chaos, we are with the Lord.

I hope the hazy, lazy days of summer afford you the opportunity to rest awhile with the Lord.

chairsbeach

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Happy Baptismday!

baptismThis Saturday I moved into an apartment in northwest DC, and on my new commute I found myself passing by St. Ann’s Catholic Church at Tenley Circle which is where I was baptized on November 28th 1982.

Do you know when your baptismday is?

From time to time, Fr. Bill Hegedusich of St. Peter’s Church of Capitol Hill preaches on this topic. He encourages us to find out the date of our baptism and to celebrate it! He mentions that while we always commemorate birthdays and wedding anniversaries, there is even more reason to commemorate the day we were baptized.

After all, “Holy Baptism is the basis of the whole Christian life, the gateway to life in the Spirit, and the door which gives access to the other sacraments. Through Baptism we are freed from sin and reborn as sons of God; we become members of Christ, are incorporated into the Church and made sharers in her mission.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1213) That is certainly something to celebrate!

As I started thinking about my baptism, I asked myself, “Have I been upholding my baptismal promises?” This is a weighty question! In fact, it’s one we should ask ourselves everyday. Thankfully, now I have a visual reminder!

Renewal of Baptismal Promises

Do you reject sin,
so as to live in the freedom of God’s children?
I do.

Do you reject the glamor of evil,
and refuse to be mastered by sin?
I do.

Do you reject Satan,
father of sin and prince of darkness?
I do.

Do you believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth?
I do.

Do you believe in Jesus Christ,
his only Son, our Lord,
who was born of the Virgin Mary,
was crucified, died, and was buried,
rose from the dead,
and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
I do.

Do you believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting?
I do.