Author Archive
Want to go on mission?
This Saturday, the Office of Young Adult Ministry is hosting our Argentina Missionary Reunion and Information Session.
Young adults who are interested in going on our mission trip in December will have the chance to meet and hear stories from the young adult missionaries of 2008 and 2009! The afternoon will including Mass, a potluck lunch, reflections on the mission work of the Church, testimonies from missionaries, and photo-sharing.
I want to share with you the reflections of Michael Paris, a seminarian that went on mission in 2009.
One of the things that struck me the most was seeing the great healing power of family. We hear that whatever happens to you in childhood sets you for life, that you can be permanently messed up based on your early experiences. Yet in these homes [for foster children] they live as true families, with the priests, sisters and volunteers as fathers and mothers. Many of the residents have had the most terrible things happen to them as little children. Yet with the love of God, the fathers, the sisters and the other residents they can find healing and strength. The faith is passed down and many of these people experience genuine happiness and go on to live good lives. Some even embrace the priesthood and religious life. Love and relationships can heal even the most deep seated wounds.
For more information about this Saturday’s event and our mission trip in December, please email yam@adw.org. All are welcome!
My Best Friend
I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot recently, both same sex and opposite sex. In the past, I’ve shared blogs on What is Christian Friendship? and Having a Diversity of Friendships. But when I wrote the blog Marriage and Womanhood, one of the “rules” that people had a hard time agreeing with was #3 “Do not have an intimate friendship with a man who is not dating you.”
A few weeks back, I came across this blog from Damian Wargo of The King’s Men, and I am reprinting it here with permission. It certainly challenges us to look at our opposite sex friendships in light of marriage:
Not too long ago, on a train ride to my hometown of Altoona, PA, I met a very friendly woman from Texas who was headed on a trip to Pennsylvania’s Amish country about 60 miles west of Philadelphia.
“You know the Amish don’t have Honky Tonk,” I joked.
“But, they may have more trackers than Texas,” she joked right back.
Joking with a talkative stranger is one of the best ways to guarantee a nonstop conversation straight to your given destination. My work was going to have to wait a few hours.
It doesn’t take Texans long to get into deeper conversation. “He was my best friend. We did everything together,” the woman confided in me. Sadly, she had recently lost her husband. He was only 59. She shared with me her heartbreak and deep of loss of her companion for life. They had been an “item” since the 8th grade and were married for nearly four decades. That’s longer than I have been alive, I thought!
We talked for about an hour more about a wide variety of topics until the train pulled up alongside a few horse-and-buggies, a sure sign we were in Amish country. “My name is Theresa, by the way, but everyone calls me Tessy.” Texas-appropriate, I thought.
Not too long after meeting Tessy, I met another woman, Janet, who was much younger than Tessy and had never been married. But Janet shared something in common with Tessy. Her best friend was also of the opposite sex. His name was Brian. Brian and Janet met in college and had been best friends ever since. They talked about everything under the sun and spent quite a bit of time together. Like a number women I had met, she said she enjoyed being around the guys a lot more than the girls.
On many levels, I can relate to this kind of friendship. Yet, at the same time, something about it just doesn’t seem right.
First, a close opposite sex friendship could be keeping a person from close same sex friendships. Both men and women benefit greatly from strong same sex friendships. For instance, men need other men as a support with common struggles, a firm challenge when necessary, and a summons into the noble battle to protect women and children from the many dangers they face in today’s culture. Inordinately prioritizing a close friendship with woman, a man may not develop completely into manhood.
Second, a close opposite sex friendship could be keeping a person from pursuing an opposite sex romantic relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. This could be true on a practical and emotional level.
Third, as much as it may be denied, in almost every close opposite sex friendship, one of the parties is romantically interested in the other and wants more. This can lead to lots of frustration.
Finally, how desirous would it be for a spouse to have a best friend of the opposite sex? Can you imagine being out with both men at the same time? “This is my husband, Mike and this is my best friend, Javier.” If one of the parties is in a romantic relationship, a close opposite sex friendship is no longer appropriate.
Of course, there is a period in a romantic relationship prior to the courtship stage when men and women should become close friends. Certainly, this stage of courtship is appropriate, good, and holy.
It’s beautiful that Tessy and her husband became more than just friends – they were best friends. The life-long companionship she had with her husband is something I long for with my future wife, God-willing!
Families Supporting Vocations
Around the year 461 A.D. St. Patrick of Ireland wrote:
“How else has it lately come about in Ireland that those how never even knew God, but up till now had always worshipped nothing but idols and impure things, are now suddenly made the people of the Lord, so that they are now called children of God? Meanwhile, so many sons and daughters of the kings of the Irish are now proud to be counted monks and virgins of Christ…Not that their fathers agree with their decision; more often than not, they gladly suffer persecution, yes, and even false charges from their own parents. Yet, in spite of all, their number continues to grow more and more. …But the Lord has given his grace to so many women who are serving him in this way, so that even when they are forbidden, they continue steadfastly to follow his example.”
(The Confession of St. Patrick, Part IV, sections 41-42)
From what I hear from vocation directors and those who have chosen consecrated life themselves, this is just as true today as it was 1549 years ago.
Now I’m not going to go into some deep philosophical discussion about why this is true. Rather, I want to share what I plan to do when I have children, because honestly I’m pretty excited about the thought of one of my children being consecrated! (If I am blessed with children, God-willing!)
God has already put many wonderful people in my life who have consecrated themselves to God. It all started with a best friend from 7th grade summer camp who is now a nun, then I met her friend who is now a priest, then I met his friend who was a priest at my parish, and of course, now that I work at the Archdiocese I have met many more stellar priests and sisters.
I can’t wait to have them over for family dinners. I can’t wait to take my family to visit them in their parishes and monasteries. I can’t wait for my daughter to see the joy on my friend’s face when she talks about her love of God and her vocation to pray. I can’t wait for my son to watch my friend as he celebrates the Mass.
Is there a parish priest that you admire and want to invite to the next family cookout? Do you know a charismatic nun that your daughter could spend a Saturday with serving the poor? If not, make a new friend! Even if it’s not God’s will for them to become consecrated, at least they will witness your support of vocations and will come away with a respect and enthusiasm for consecrated life.
And they won’t grow up to be among the parents that St. Patrick describes!
How do you feel about the rosary?
When I was little, our family vacations always involved long car rides in our 8-passenger van. When the trip began we’d fight over who had to sit where, mid-trip we’d fight over someone not sharing their snacks, and by the end of the trip we’d fight…well, just ‘cuz.
At the height of this chaos, my mom would yell, “I think it’s about time we all said the rosary!” I don’t know if this tactic worked, but it certainly gave me an aversion to saying the rosary.
A couple of decades later, I’m finally working up to saying it voluntarily and with a sense of peace.
Recently, I was given a copy of Pope John Paul II’s “On the Most Holy Rosary” written in 2002. He wrote this apostolic letter during the twenty-fifth year of his papacy, as he added the luminous mysteries and declared October of 2002 to October of 2003 to be The Year of the Rosary.
First, John Paul II affirms that the rosary is a Christ-centered prayer. “Among creatures no one knows Christ better than Mary; no one can introduce us to a profound knowledge of his mystery better than his Mother.”
Next, he shows how, through meditating on the Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful, and Glorious mysteries, we “encounter the sacred humanity of the Redeemer” in a personal way. As we approach Him, we are reminded to “cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:23)
Finally, John Paul II invites us to improve “the method” by which we say the rosary: placing ourselves in each mystery using our imagination; reading a Bible passage that corresponds to the mystery; pausing for a moment of silence to focus on the mystery; and appreciating the goal of each prayer we recite.
It’s a great read (and a short one!) which I highly recommend!
A Glimpse of the Universal Church
A few months ago, I was humbled when my friend Bonny asked me to be her sponsor as she enters into full communion with the Catholic Church this Easter. I’ve had the joy of witnessing her faith, her enthusiasm, her curiosity, and her devotion to this new faith. And this Sunday we both had the joy of celebrating the Archdiocese of Washington’s Rite of Election and Call to Continuing Conversion at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception.
For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the RCIA process (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults), this is the step when each parish of the Archdiocese officially presents to Archbishop Donald Wuerl all those who wish to join the Church at Easter.
As each person’s name is called, they walk up the center aisle of the Basilica and into the sanctuary to gather before the Archbishop. When all the names have been called, the sanctuary is completely filled with men, women, old, young, every race, every language, every culture, from every parish in the Archdiocese. It’s a beautiful and powerful glimpse of the universal Church!
When all the people are gathered, the Archbishop asks the godparents and sponsors if the new converts have “listened to God’s word proclaimed by the Church” and have “responded to that word and begun to walk in God’s presence” to which we respond “They have!” Then the congregation shows its support in applause.
When we returned to our seats, I turned to Bonny and said “This is what we are part of!!” She gave me a huge smile, and a chill even went up my own spine!
If you ever have a chance to attend the Rite of Election and Call to Continuing Conversion, don’t pass it up! And please pray for all those who will be baptised and will enter into full communion with the Church this Easter!
40 Days for Life – Washington
On Tuesday evening, a small but hearty group of 40 Days for Life participants gathered in freezing temperatures in Farragut Square for the 40 Days for Life Kickoff Prayer Vigil.
40 Days for Life is a peaceful period of prayer, fasting, and community outreach, and this sesason runs from February 17 to March 28.
After singing some hymns together, we heard Fr. Mark Ivany (a priest of Church of the Little Flower in Bethesda, MD) give a short reflection about our mission over the next 40 days. He began with this fitting quote from George Washington:
“The fate of unborn millions will now depend, under God, on the courage and conduct of this army.” (1776)
When some people think of the pro-life movement, they think of angry protesters, gruesome photos, or even violent retribution. To be honest, when I came to the March for Life back in high school, I remember being really grossed out and a few times even scared of the more “intense” protesters I saw there.
But the pro-life movement is changing, and the reason I love 40 Days for Life in particularly is because of the courage and conduct of “this army”. It’s peaceful. It’s loving. It’s powerful. Participants even sign a “Statement of Peace” to pledge that they will conduct themselves in a Christ-like manner. This courageous witness and a gentle invitation to choose life is what touches the hearts of the people walking into the abortion clinic.
The goal of 40 Days for Life is to have prayer witnesses in front of Planned Parenthood from 7:00am to 7:00pmp for these 40 days. If you would like to sign up to be a prayer witness at a certain hour each week or for more information, visit www.40daysforlife.com/washington.
Dominican Nuns on Oprah
In case you missed it, Oprah’s show yesterday featured the Dominican Sisters of Mary of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Here is a link where you can see clips from the show:
http://myown.oprah.com/search/index.html?q=nuns+dominican+sisters
All in all, the show was informative, respectful, and fun! Did you watch? What did you think?
Marriage and Womanhood
This blog is a complement to Msgr. Pope’s January 4th blog, Marriage and Manhood. There, he laid out some ground rules for men concerning marriage. Fabulous blog, in my opinion!
As a follow-up, I felt the need to encourage women to do their part as well. So with my own experiences and the input of a single marriage-minded man, I’ve compiled this list.
1) If you are interested in attracting a man, look the part: choose feminine dresses over androgynous pants; fitted contours over ill-fitting clothes; enhancing colors over plain blacks; natural, youthful makeup over heavy, concealing makeup; and always choose a smile over a blank stare or a scowl.
2) Never ask a guy out! If he is interested and is a real man, he will ask you out. If he doesn’t ask you out, he either isn’t interested or isn’t a real man. This point could not be more clear or more important.
3) Do not have an intimate friendship with a man who is not dating you. If you are hoping that someday he will date you, it’s very unlikely. (Sorry, Taylor Swift.) This can also be a red flag that this man does not have intimate friendships with other men. This is a problem since men need other men to be real men.
4) Ok so you’re on your first date, and this guy starts sounding an awful lot like your ex…give him a chance! If you start projecting your ex’s worst characteristics on this new guy, you are inviting your own disappointment. Each man is unique, so give him the respect he deserves. It has been said that a man’s desire for respect is comparable to a woman’s desire to be cherished.
5) Once a man initiates a friendship, continue letting him pursue you as you get to know each other. Let him plan the dates. Let him pick you up. Let him pay. Let him set the pace. Let him be the first to use the words relationship, dating, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Follow his lead, and don’t make assumptions.
6) Dress modestly and act chastely. Despite what television and commercials tell you, seduction is entirely unnecessary! Your beauty and the fact that you are a female is enough.
7) If a relationship doesn’t work out, don’t let that affect your relationship with God or your appreciation of yourself as a woman. (I just got on a proud-to-be-a-Catholic-woman kick. Above my bed is a recently-purchased painting of the Blessed Mother and baby Jesus, and on my bedside table is my rosary and my current pile of books: “The Privilege of Being a Woman” (von Hildebrand), “Woman” (Stein), “Theology of the Body for Beginners” (West), “Graced and Gifted” (Hahn), “Introduction to the Devout Life” (de Sales), and “The Soul of Elizabeth Seton” (Dirvin). This is new venture for me, but I can tell you that so far it’s been entirely enriching!)
Try all 7 of these guidelines, and let me know how it works for you! And if you’ve been grazing in one pasture for a while, try a new one! God never promised that your future husband would live within a 20 miles radius.
God bless your journey toward marriage!
“When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.” Proverbs 31:10
Complementarity of Vocations
While in Argentina, I saw what spiritual motherhood and fatherhood looks like while spending time with the priests and nuns of the Religious Family of the Incarnate Word.
I was impressed by the strength, loving discipline, and leadership of the priests. To me, they exemplified masculinity and fatherhood. I was also struck by the joy, helpfulness, and affection of the nuns. To me, they exemplified femininity and motherhood.
This was most evident when the priests and nuns were with the children, young men, or young women. Seeing them interact, you might have thought that they were biological fathers and mothers because you wondered how they could love these children so much.
Spiritual motherhood and fatherhood isn’t just a quaint phrase; it’s a reality. Many of us aren’t used to seeing this kind of love between our religious and our children because of the fears caused by the scandals. But I was blessed to have seen what true, innocent spiritual fatherhood and motherhood looks like.
Seeing this also had another effect on me: it gave me a vision of what kind of mother I want to be and what kind of man I want as the father of my children.
From time to time we hear about the complimentarily of the married and celibate vocations; again, this is not just another quaint phrase. Both the married and celibate vocations are called to self-gift and to fruitfulness, and we can witness to each other and support each other in self-giving and in fruitful love.
Know any priests or nuns who are examples of spiritual motherhood or fatherhood? Take a moment to thank them and encourage them in living out their vocation.
What is my priority?
During our two-week young adult mission trip in Argentina, one thing that really struck me was the selflessness of the priests and sisters working in the City of Charity.
Every day they had only one priority: to serve God by serving others. Every moment of their day was dedicated to someone else: a child who needed a playmate, an elderly man who needed to be fed lunch, a teenaged girl who needed help getting her wheeled-chair unstuck, etc. When they weren’t directly serving others, they were doing things behind the scenes: sweeping a room, preparing the next meal, going over a list of errands with the Superior, etc. And of course their days were marked by Mass, Liturgy of the Hours, and silent prayer.
While in Argentina, we had he pleasure of taking daily siestas which offered me the opportunity to ask myself: What is my priority? And it’s a question I think we can all ask ourselves.
Take a spiritual siesta this afternoon and ask yourself what your priority is. What priority dictates your decisions, your time management, who you spend your time with, what you do in your free time, etc?
Then ask God to reveal any selfishness in your life. Believe me, He’ll tell you the honest truth!
