Mom planned very carefully, and in a way she still is taking care of us. She had all of her assets in a “revocable living trust” so that her stuff didn’t have to go through probate (from what I’ve heard, that truly was a wonderful gift. As it is closing out Mom’s estate is practically a part-time job.). She had all of her documents organized so that we didn’t have to figure out what was where. Both my sister and I were given copies of the trust document, the will and the medical and general powers of attorney so that we both knew what she intended. The GREATEST gift we received from Mom’s planning was her Living Will, that specified the kind of end-of-life care she wanted to receive. She had talked to us about it, but having her wishes documented made it much less heart-wrenching to have the DNR order placed in her chart.

I’m a pretty honest person (and the worst liar ever, you could see right through me if I tried to lie, so honesty seems to be the best way to go), and honestly, faithwise, I don’t have as good of a routine as I should. Part of not having a routine is because of work – I never really know what exactly my schedule is, sometimes not until the last moment, so I miss church events and occasionally Sunday Mass. I’ve tried to have a routine, and it felt like I was trying to be someone I really wasn’t. Every once in a while, I’ll go on a “Catholic kick”, where I go to daily mass almost every day, and Confession once a month, and Catholic talks and lectures. But it gets hard for me to keep it up, because sometimes my faith isn’t very strong. I also have a huge fear of Confession, despite reading lots of resources on it, and even going to wonderful, understanding priests (I had a bad experience a few years ago regarding something rather big).

I don’t know if my struggles with my faith are because of my age, or my experiences. But I have made reading this blog a part of my daily routine, and it’s a start to helping me keep the faith