We can see patients die and offer the families compassion and comfort, but when it is one of our own, all of our sound advice and wisdom goes out the window. Pray that my coworker finds the strength to take care of her other son, and pray that she does not do anything drastic.

Even with my mother’s planning, I still am overwhelmed with all that will have to be done after she passes away. I can’t imagine having to manage the affairs of someone who had never discussed or written down his wishes. I understand how “cremains” could be left sitting on a shelf for weeks or months on end.

My mother’s foresight has been a wonderful gift to my sister and me. Thanks, Mom.

One of the sites I came across on my initial Internet search for cremation services offered jewelry into which one could have a loved one’s ashes incorporated. I presume only some of the ashes. *shudder* I can kind of understand wanting to have a loved one close by, but… *shudder*

You are so right. No one knows the full extent of God’s mercy and Christ is the only judge of one’s soul. In the case of suicide, the Catechism teaches, “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” So, even in the case of your father, praying for him is appropriate. Remember, definitive statements about hope in Christ and His perfect love for all of us are accurate.

I was told following my father’s suicide last year that “he was at peace now…”

Really? That’s amazing. Who knew that you could commit suicide and then go to Heaven. And even more astounding is that an atheist who commits suicide goes to Heaven.

Worse yet, I was told this by a family member who is “Catholic” and should know that suicide is a mortal sin. But one must be comforted at such times, shouldn’t they? Even if what is said is an outright lie.

Even if someone who did not repent, did not confess, did not profess faith in Jesus Christ … ends up in Purgatory…the fact of saying, “they’re at peace now…” is ludicrous. There should be no definitive statements about a person’s ultimate end at all.

Also at home, my family would tell me it wasn’t ok to cry. I agree with you that it is cruel for people to suggest that we should not be sad, or show emotion. But much of how I was raised and taught has made it very hard for me to grieve. Often times I will go into shock from a bad code, or something else for months and grieve later. When I do feel emotion, it is very raw and painful. There was one time, when my Team Leader wasn’t around, that I cried with a mother who had lost her 7 month old to SIDS. It felt good to release emotion with her, and she was grateful I did. She was grateful I wasn’t “cold” or trying to hide my emotions.

I am glad that you wrote this, because I think we live in a culture that is very “rip the band-aid off and get over it”. If more people shared their thoughts,or how they learned things, the world would be a much better place.