Sky, have you ever heard of the “Oreo technique” when pointing out someone’s mistake? It’s a technique that involves layering; i.e., mention a good quality, mention the problem and then close with another good quality. Most people will hear the critique loud and clear, but they won’t feel deflated. The positive opening and closing thoughts don’t lessen the effect of the troubling observation, they simply soften the observed fault and reinforce one’s strengths.

Here’s an example of how it works. It is certainly a little wordy, but it is definitely a gentler way to point out a mistake.

“Monsignor,

I enjoyed your post and appreciate the time it must take to come up with good, “bloggable” thoughts. Blogging is certainly a new and creative way to engage and educate an audience. If you have the time, do you think you could run your posts through one last proof reading process before posting them? I can’t speak for others, but I find typos and grammatical errors distracting. Those few misplaced key strokes take away from the sound doctrine you cite to support your topic. Why not let your writing talent read with clarity.”

Lastly, I’m sure Monsignor appreciated the time you took to read his post and then comment on it. I’m a little confused on the meaning behind your first sentence. I’m imagining the sentence should read, “All good thoughts and sound doctrine.” Or, “Good thoughts and sound doctrine.” Or, is the “Good thoughts all and sound doctrine” meant to infer that all of his thoughts were good and supported with sound doctrine? I’m assuming you proofread your own comment. What am I missing here?

Be patient with your wife. Religion was not a very big part of my life growing up as a child, but faith in a greater power and being a good person was the theme I was raised with. Belonging to a particular religion was not an issue. Needless to say, I went to church as a child and was taught the basics of Christianity, but never at any great depth or with great understanding. I was baptized, but not in the Catholic Church.

I converted to Catholicism before I was married and quickly realized that I was on a different page than my husband; I had an open ended type of faith while he had the rituals and structure of the Catholic Church. Although he did not pray the rosary daily, when May rolled around, his family’s tradition of praying the rosary as a family came out. Although I didn’t sneer, I was not exactly co-operative in making the evening prayer routine work within our family.

I am writing now to tell you that several years ago, a 4×4……. no, I’ll take that back, a railroad tie hit me on the head. I now have an immense love for the Catholic Church and the doctrine that defines it. I do not always make time to pray the rosary as often as I would like, but, I’m working on it. I have to remind my inpatient mind that faith bound within the Catholic teachings is not something understood overnight. It is a life long journey. I now realize the intense love Christ offers. I’m usually the one that remembers and wants to pray the rosary during the month of May. My kids think I’m a little tainted, but, they also know I live a life tainted with hope and internal hapiness. Deep down inside, I know they are learning from what they see. Maybe they will know the peace of Christ with a light whack from a 2×2! Bottom line, keep that rosary close to your heart. Your wife is doing the best she can and don’t think for a moment that she isn’t feeling your internal peace brought about through prayer centered on the rosary.

On the other hand, there is the danger of going to the other extreme in the matter of “mortal sin.” All too often it seems that what constitutes a mortal sin is defined in narrower and narrower terms, giving one the impression that it is in only the most extreme of cases, the most serious of serious and grave of grave acts, deeds, etc., such as murder, etc. In so relegating mortal sin to the most extreme of cases, we forget that the most mortal sin of all (death for all mankind) really was not, on the surface, all that serious at all, but consisted of the seemingly innocuous act of eating a piece of fruit. We need to keep that in mind when we try to “justify” so many of our own sins as being “merely” venial sins because we subjectively believe them to not be all that serious.

In any event, it is good that, together with the revelation of God’s Name, the revelation of the Logos in the Gospel of John, and the revelation of God in and about the human body in the Creation accounts, that the fullness of the truth of the Fall is being discovered (or rediscovered) in the modern Church.